Please correct the grammar of my composition!!?

Question

An accidental encounter happing to me when I was a high school student has been deeply engraved in my memory. It not only changed my dull life but also let me meet a girl who is worth me spending my entire lifetime to care and protect. To this day, I always feel that my heart is replete with happiness when looking back on my happy past. Now, I want to share my love story with you and I hope you, my fellow, can also get the happiness that belongs to yourself.
That day, after borrowing some of my favorite books in the library, I walked down the stairs in a good mood. All of a sudden, I casually glanced at a beautiful face flashing in front of me. It was not until more closely looking at her face that I found that she was a stunning girl with a flaming red hair and pale skin and her beauty was beyond description. That girl’s attractive face like an angel and slim size caught my attention. My heart full of passion had flown toward her; as a result, I failed to pay attention to other things only looking at her all the time. However, unfortunately, because of much attention, I didn’t watch where I was going and slipped on an orange-peel. I fell down from the stairs to the ground so that I got the severe scrapes. With the torturing wound, I started to cry out loudly. Suddenly, that charming girl rushed toward me in no time and carefully bandaged my serious wound with her warm hands. At that time, I felt a great deal of euphoria and the pain of my scrapes seemed to disappear in a flash.
That event let me get acquainted with that girl. As if there was a fatal red thread that tightly fastened our hearts. Over time, after a decade, that girl and I have become a couple and we have a happy family that everyone envies very much.
-------------Please correct my grammar.
If you have special and good words or phrases, please add them to my composition.
Thank you!!

Thanks for all of you who answered my question.

Answer 1

An accidental encounter happened to me when I was a high school student that has been deeply engraved in my memory. It not only changed my dull life, but also let me meet a girl who is worth me spending my entire lifetime to care and protect. To this day, I always feel that my heart is filled with happiness when looking back on my happy past. Now, I want to share my love story with you and I hope you, my fellow, can also get the happiness that belongs to yourself.
That day, after borrowing some of my favorite books in the library, I walked down the stairs in a good mood. All of a sudden, I casually glanced at a beautiful face flashing in front of me. It was not until more closely looking at her face that I found that she was a stunning girl with a flaming red hair and pale skin and her beauty was beyond description. That girl’s attractive face like an angel and slim size caught my attention. My heart full of passion had flown toward her; as a result, I failed to pay attention to other things only looking at her all the time. However, unfortunately, because of my lack of attention, I didn’t watch where I was going and slipped on an orange-peel. I fell down the stairs to the ground and got many severe scrapes. With the torturing wound, I started to cry out loudly. Suddenly, that charming girl rushed toward me in no time and carefully bandaged my serious wound with her warm hands. At that time, I felt a great deal of euphoria and the pain of my scrapes seemed to disappear in a flash.
That event let me get acquainted with that girl. As if there was a fatal red thread that tightly fastened our hearts. Over time, after a decade, that girl and I have become a couple and we have an extremely happy family.

That's what I think you should write. Also I think that is a VERY VERY good selection of writing. Good Job (If you wrote that).

Answer 2

Try this, perhaps-
An accidental encounter that happened to me when I was a high school student has been deeply engraved in my memory. Not only did it change my dull life but also let me meet a girl who is worth me spending my entire lifetime to care and protect. To this day, I always feel that my heart is replete with happiness when looking back on my happy past. Now, I want to share my love story with you and I hope you, my fellow, can also find the happiness that belongs to you.
That day, after borrowing some of my favorite books in the library, I walked down the stairs in a good mood. All of a sudden, I casually glanced at a beautiful face flashing in front of me. It was not until more closely looking at her face that I found that she was a stunning girl with a flaming red hair and pale skin, and her beauty was beyond description. That girl’s slim size and attractive face, which was like an angel, caught my attention. My heart, full of passion, had flown toward her; as a result, I failed to pay attention to other things only looking at her all the time. However, unfortunately, because of much attention, I didn’t watch where I was going and slipped on an orange-peel. I fell down from the stairs onto the ground and got some severe scrapes. With the torturing wound, I started to cry out loudly. Suddenly, that charming girl rushed toward me quickly and carefully bandaged my serious wound with her warm hands. At that time, I felt a great deal of euphoria and the pain of my scrapes seemed to disappear in a flash.
That event let me get acquainted with that girl, as if there was a fatal red thread that tightly fastened our hearts. After a decade, that girl and I have become a couple and we have a happy family that everyone envies very much.

Answer 3

An accidental encounter happened to me when I was a high school student which has become deeply engraved in my memory. It not only changed my dull life, but through the event I met the girl with whom I hope to spend my entire lifetime caring for and protecting. To this day, I always feel that my heart is replete with happiness when looking back on my happy past.
Now, I want to share my love story with you and I hope you, my fellow, can also find the happiness that should belong to you as well. One day, after borrowing some of my favorite books from the library, I walked down the stairs in a good mood. All of a sudden, I casually glanced at a beautiful face flashing in front of me. It was not until more closely looking at her face that I found that she was a stunning girl with flaming red hair and light skin. Her beauty was beyond description. That girl’s attractive face was like an angel and her slim size caught my attention as well. My heart full of passion flew toward her; as a result, I failed to pay attention to other things only seeing her. As a result, I didn’t watch where I was going and slipped on an orange-peel. I fell down the stairs to the ground and was severely scraped. The pain was unbelievable and I cried out loudly. Suddenly, that charming girl rushed toward me and in no time carefully bandaged my serious wound with her warm hands. At that time, I felt a great deal of euphoria and the pain of my scrapes seemed to disappear in a flash.
That event let me get acquainted with the girl.It seemed as if there was a fatal red thread that tightly fastened our hearts. Over time, after a decade, that girl and I have become a couple and we have a happy family that everyone envies very much.

Answer 4

I really, truly think you should leave this job to your teacher.
People here are trying to be kind but it does not help to improve your written English unless you have things explained as well as corrected.
For instance, you use the phrase 'a fatal red thead'. Now I think you probably used 'fatal' trying to imply that your fates were connected. But 'fatal' is not a word that is used in a positive sense. 'A fatal love' doesn't imply a love that was fated to be; it implies a love that causes mortal injury.

Please, carry on learning. But this isn't the right place to get taught.

Answer 5

Maintain orderliness

Answer 6

I tried, but it is too long. A paragraph at a time would be more doable.

It is an excellent composition, tho. I like it.

Answer 7

Perhaps if you did a paragraph at a time people would give you some help.

As it is Not today thanks.

Answer 8

nice one bro

Answer 9

Yeah right then!

Answer 10

good huh!