My dad has been out of my life, since i was 3-4 yrs old, and last year he wanted to meet me again, I was going to but didn't feel strong enough. Should i give him another oppurtunity. The circumstances that prevent me from doing so is that he "apparently-no proof" sexually abused my bro and I and he never paid child support for us. I had cut all contact with him, but is 2007 the year to meet my father and hear his version of events?
2007-01-28 11:53:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's always two sides to a story and a split between parents is usually bad. It took me 32 years to meet my father for the first time and it opened up a new life for me (half brothers and sisters). Two years later he passed away from cancer so I'm glad I never waited too long. If you're worried, bring someone close to you for support. Good luck.
2007-01-28 12:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by t_man132003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he has a very different version, but that would not be unusual in ANY case when divorce happens. DO NOT go alone. If you don't go you may always regret it. If you are over 18, you are old enough to form your own opinions now. Just don't let all you have heard over the yrs. be too great a factor in this or you will be guilty of pre-judging him and he will never be able to explain anything to you as you have allready determined what you think and nothing will change it. BE FAIR and open minded.
Good Luck
2007-01-28 20:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you, but speaking from experience I've had friends falsly accused of things that were not right. perhaps your father is at fault perhaps he's not. I would want to hear it from him. If you decide to meet him, go with a list of questions to ask him and be prepared to hear things you may not want too. Child support is another whole issue, was your father capable of paying child support? What prevented him if he was? I know many guys who pay their child support and are sleeping on friends couches, I also know guys who don't pay because they can't & do the best they can to help, the ones who can and dont want too I have nothing to with. So I hope this bit of info helps you in your decision. Take Care & God Bless
2007-01-28 20:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by rosied1968 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad sexually abused us and right now I'm trying to help my mom keep my dad from getting custody of my little brothers who are under 18 so I see it a little differently. I think it depends on what the "no-proof" is and how you feel. If he did that, and he didn't pay child support, he wasn't much of a father. I think it's kind of funny that he'd want to come into your life now. You need to decide if you want to let someone like that into you life, and you need to think about what his reasons are for wanting to be in yours. Protect yourself first. Be selfish. Protect your mom and your brother and if you decide to then you can meet with you father. Just be smart.
2007-01-28 20:05:37 · answer #4 · answered by flutterby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should at least give him a chance. Have someone with you so it isn't way to uncomfortable, but give it a shot. My half-brother had never met our dad since he was seven (he's 22), and he came and visited us for a while. They've really built a relationship since. There's always the possiblity that something could go wrong and you don't like him or something, but how will you know if you never try?
2007-01-28 20:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a chance and hear his side of the story. if he seems sincere then try to have a relationship with him but if he seems like he still doesn't want to be with you then since he hasn't been in your life hardly at all and never paid child support then maybe staying away from him is the best way to go. you never know unless you try. i really hope things work out for you. good luck in the future.
2007-01-28 20:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think it's possible that he abused your brother, you should not meet him at least until you are an adult, and don't leave him alone with your children either.
Even if he didn't abuse your brother, he has not been a father to you.
If you think your mother is a liar and lied about the sexual abuse, that is really sad and it's an abuse in itself. I hope that's not the case.
You need healthy influences in your life, so be careful and use your judgment.
2007-01-28 20:24:18 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely think that you should meet him. It will satisfy your curiosity about him, and as you say, you can get his version of the events. In order to protect your safety, since all you know about him is that he may be a sex offender, you should meet him in a public place or take someone with you, such as a trusted relative. Good luck.
2007-01-28 20:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that feeling,it must be very difficult for you even if you are going to meet him and forgive him but inside you still heard and it will carry on for the rest of your life.My parents left me with my grandparents when i was 2 and i met them when i was 18 and now i am 41,my parents and i get alone well but i always fell there is something missing between us .good luck
2007-01-28 20:56:03 · answer #9 · answered by lj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah maybe
take it slow though
He didn't pay child support !!!!!!!!!!!!
A druggie maybe?
He abused your brother, and that big dog too maybe ???????
Anyway if mom says ok, maybe write or a short phone call is ok.
Go slow, maybe you and him have many past unfortunate issues.
If he is abusive he belongs in jail so stay away from him.
2007-01-28 20:11:37 · answer #10 · answered by agropelter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋