I want to establish paternity for my 15 year old. He has never met his father and I want him to know who his father is. His father is not a part of his life. Should I?
2007-01-28 11:48:38 · 12 answers · asked by MsMoneyPenny 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm assuming you know who his father is, or can narrow it down. It's important for you to know exactly who the father is if for no other reason than to gather the an important part of your son's medical history.
As far as your son is concerned, talk to him and ask him if he would be interested in meeting his biological father. If your son is not really interested, then don't pursue it. But if he is interested, then you could pursue it. Talk to the father and ask him if he's willing. If the father's not really interested, then, gather the medical history and move on. It's not worth having your son meet him only to have him get disappointed.
2007-01-28 11:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why?
Tell your son that if he should ever want to know the identity of his father, you will provide him that info. It also depends on several factors as to how much detail you go into.
I am presuming there was an element of consent to the encounter where he was conceived.
Are you married, and your son has always looked to your husband as his father? If so, you have to be exceptionally careful, as a casual mentioning that his dad isn't could cause his world to collapse, and him to hate you.
If you are single, and have been his whole life, then yes, he is wondering. However, you will have to tell him *everything* he _needs_ to know (for example, that you may have left the father because he was violent, etc).
Incidentally, if the father is unaware of his existance, this is something your son will need to know (and again, the reason as to why he doesn't know).
Lastly, one way or another, if it is "safe" for your son to meet his father, and HE wants to meet his father, _you_ will have to contact the father first. Be prepared for some shock, animosity, and sticky questions. After all , your son does NOT deserve to encounter that level of possible hostility - you don't either, but that's the "fun" thing about being a parent. :(
2007-01-28 20:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are saying is that you would like to take a paternity test to see if you are his father or not, is solely upon your hands. My opinion though, has to be this: If your son, or possible son has no active father now. He needs to have someone there to be a father figure, if you are possibly his father or you could give him guidance at this crucial age then it will bring upon less mental problems later. He may already be suffering from self issues because of his father. I have seen this so many times in my community and it is utterly disgusting. My opinion is, go take it, and even if you are not the father then be there for him as if you were.
2007-01-28 19:52:31 · answer #3 · answered by Raven Rage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you have waited 15 years to follow this up? Are you certain about who the father is or are there a few that it would involve testing. I definitely say do it sooner versus later as I would imagine your son has a major void in the not knowing. The hard part will be him dealing with possible rejection of the father not wanting anything to do with him...but at least let him deal with it one way or another...assuming he has expressed interest in this. I would think medical history alone would be important to you/him.
2007-01-28 19:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by chick33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should see if his father wants to be a part of his life too. There are times when it is better not to let them meet. Depending on the situation, it may be better to wait for your son to become an adult. On the other hand, it may be good for your son to have a male influence. But don't do anything until you know what kind of man his father is 15 years later.
2007-01-28 19:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mickey22_jp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know who the father is then you should consult him. He may not want a son popping out of the woodwork. on the other hand if you don't know the father then i would either leave it alone or keep the results from your son untill you do know who the father is
2007-01-28 19:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by ogopogo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does his FATHER want him to know who he is? His father does have some rights here and if he doesn't want his offspring to know him there could be problems. You don't have the right to force the issue. I suggest you contact a lawyer to find out what steps you need to take.
2007-01-28 20:02:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you should talk to him. 15 is an age where a person can be accountable for their own decisions, so i would leave it up to him.
it could be inviting a bunch of heartache into his life if his father doesnt want to be a part of his life after meeting him.
2007-01-28 20:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by stella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. why you create more problem? does your child want to know his father? leave it alone
2007-01-28 19:54:59 · answer #9 · answered by solitude 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should be getting support from him for one thing, of course you should have the test. you'll never know when you might need it.
2007-01-28 19:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mystee_Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋