We spent some really good time together and I think i fell in love with her but she told she was 17 i have been feeling guilty ever since. She told me she lied because she knew i would not date her if i knew her real age.Now i don't know what to do. She says she loves me and wants to be with me and i feel the same way.I did not sleep with her and i do not plan to do so until i marry her GOD WILLING.
2007-01-28 11:26:34 · 26 answers · asked by kramerica233 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, she lied to you...it doesn't really matter WHY..just that she did. And she's definitley not quite legal. I think if you lover and she loves you as much as you think you both do, then you should take a break from each other for a little while until she's legal.
2007-01-28 11:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by gypzndog 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long did she lie to you for? This is a clear sign of inmaturity, you probably already know this since you are almost 30. However, it doesn't mean that she is a bad person, she's just a teenager. I remember doing the same thing at her age with an older guy. The explanation to her lie is obviously childish and you are getting into deep waters......if your not already in them. You are respecting her sexually, but for how long? If you were willing to go out with a 19 year old then I don't see how 17 makes a difference. That she's not 18??? Is her age what holds you back? What tells you that she hasn't lied about other things? I did, and thank God didn't sleep with the guy at the time but regreted the lie for the longest time.
2007-01-28 11:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she has already lied to you which isn't a very good sign. She is far too young for you in any case, because there is a bigger difference between 17-26 than 26-35 because she is still a child compared to you, and the relationship will not last because she will want to go away to college or do some traveling and her peer group will laugh at her for going out with what they consider an older man, even though you are not old at all, to her age group you are. You will soon find her very boaring because you will want more intellectual conversations which you will not get from a child.
2007-01-28 11:38:50 · answer #3 · answered by mellouckili 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get comfortable. Long answer.
First of all (to the other respondents), the age of consent is 16 or 17 in many states, and it's more complicated than just one age. In my state, you can have sex with anyone you want if you are 16 or older. You can't have sex at all if you're younger than 13. If you are between the ages of 13 and 16, your partner must be within four years of your age. So if they lived here, they would be quite legal.
But he said he didn't sleep with her, and he didn't plan to, so that's not the issue!
I am proud of you for respecting her morals (or representing your own). I think that societal stigma should not get in the way of you being together. But please think about this: If you married her, what would you want to do after you got married? She may want to have some alone time first, or get her career settled. Since you would be so much older, you might want to have a family right away, or sooner than she would. If there is no conflict about this, then I see no problem with you being together. But if there is, you may want to reconsider. I suggest you discuss this with her. After all, you do want her to be happy.
Good luck!
P.S. I see a respondent who says you will get very bored because you can't have intelligent conversation with her. Not true at all! At 14, I knew a 20-year-old who said I was more mature than most of his friends his own age. And 17 is close enough to being an adult. If she successfully passed herself off as 19, she can't be that badly off.
2007-01-28 11:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by bisous148 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her you should not panic. Speak to her parents and see how they feel about the situation (if you have met them?) and also let them know somehow that you don't believe in sex before marriage. Have you ever stretched the truth to get something that you thought you needed or to make someone happy? It is sort of the same principles. I dont think you should let this ruin your friendship as she is almost 18! What does age matter. My best friend is 38 and going out with a 30 yr old, and just think of the complications they would of had when they were younger! But they don't let people or anyone else criticize them for there love choices! You shouldn't either! Its what YOU and HER feel. Good luck!
2007-01-28 11:36:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love her and she was the one lying about her age then why should you feel guilty? She probably does love you as much as a 17 year old can. Just be aware that feelings are a fleeting thing at that age. Give it a couple years before you decide to marry her. If it's still as strong two years from now, then you might have found the right one.
2007-01-28 11:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then I see no problem and you don't plan on sleeping with her until marriage, so what's stopping you? The fact that she's 17 or that she lied? So she's 17 and soon she'll be 18. You well know that once you reach 20 time flies! Lying, well, even the best of us lie sometimes but think that if she didn't care about you it wouldn't have mattered to her if you didn't date her but she really wants to be with you.
2007-01-28 11:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by strawberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a good man for not sleeping with her yet. it for reasons like this you take relationships slow so you can get to know the person. she is 17 so it shouldnt hurt for you two to wait until she's 18 to get married or taking things further. at least she will be legal at that time. true love can withstand the test of time. if she's worth it then do things when the timing is right. let her now that she was not right for misleading you. but i think we can make an exception to forgive her in this case.
2007-01-28 11:36:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would proceed with caution to say the least. If she lacked the maturity to be able to be honest with you in the first place. I'm afraid the age (maturity) difference will be a big factor later on. Who at 17 really knows what a "forever" love relationship is all about.
2007-01-28 11:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by Henny Penny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much difference does her age make to you? Remember that she will turn 18, then 19 ect. THe thing is if you love her maybe then just forgive the little lie and keep going out with her.
2007-01-28 11:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋