How do you feel about marijuanna being smoked by parent/s in the home with young children?

Question

My husband and I disagree on this very much. His points to make it "OK" are 1) Never smoked in front of kids 2) Does not affect daily obligations 3) Kids are given a No Drugs Rule
I feel, regardless of these points it should not be done. Even if it is not in front of the kids, by age 5 or 6 they aren'tt dumb to the sounds & smells of it.
This is something that, like it or not, is illegal and it has been proven to lead to "harsher" drug choices in certain people later down the road.
I just feel that it is an ultimate betrayal to expect kids to respect their parents while the parents themselves are "hiding" in a basement somewhere, dousing their eyes with Visine and coughing up lungs at various intervals of the day.
High school/college, fine. Parties during your couple years, OK. MAYBE an extra-curricular toke or two on vacation, but a daily occurence in an educated thirty-forty something parent - NO WAY!
I wouldn't send my kids to these homes!
Tell me what you think.

I think I need to clearly state, that this is not OUR home. My dilemma is sending my kids to homes that I know this occurs in, which happnes to be husband's relatives and 2 closest friends. I simply cannot send my kids there in good faith and I feel for those couples own young children. Our disagreement on this wreaking havoc on our marriage.
Also, I have never, ever, ever smoked pot. My husband did all through high school and into his late 20s.
I need to add, without sounding narrow-minded, if this WERE my home, the question would not even be posted here because my kids, and myself, would be out the door

Answer 1

I minored in Chemical Addictions Counseling in college. It is not okay to smoke pot. There is not a chance on God's green earth I would EVER let my children play with kids who's parents I knew did that.

Marijuana, like other drugs, depletes the feel good neurotransmitters (dopamine and serotonin) in the brain. It takes the joy out of being sober, and users find no interest in other things. It is especially dangerous for highschool kids not to use for that reason. We learn things better when we are interested in them, stick a pot head in class where he/she now finds nothing interesting and is it any wonder their grades go down the drain?

Answer 2

I am not one to judge. But I know where you are coming from. My husband at one point was just like yours. I completly disagreed with it. I did some research of my own and found out everything that I could about Smoking marijuanna. Like did you know that smoking is linked to mental illness ( and I'm saying that your more supseptible to causing an chemical imbalance) Some men have actually reported growing breasts. ( which is a disease) That's just to name a couple. There are so many different complications that could arise. My friends child developed asthma from smoking in the house ( basement). Really speaking there is no good that comes from smoking in the house. If your husband is past the age of 30 or so, and if he has been doing it a long time then it could be hard to just quit. On the other hand everyone is different. What I did with my husband (before we were married) is I told him if you smoke 1 No more in the house. You can freeze your but off. 2. No doing it during the day. 3 no smoking before work 4. No being around the kids 5.no driving ( it's the same as alcohol) 6. Don't want to hear about it don't want to see it. Don't care rule.7. We pay the bills, Mortgage, everything that has to do with normal everyday life. And if there is anything else left over we'll see. He used to say " oh it doesn't affect me, I could function normally" So I put limitations on everything to see what would happen. And you know what It worked for us. He doesn't even smoke anymore. He realized that infact he could not function, he hated being away from our daughter, and he did not like my resentment towards him. As far as going toward harder drugs I don't know. ever person is different. My husband never done anything other. But it depends on who you are and what your beliefs are. But I wish you both the best of luck.

Answer 3

I disagree with whomever said that potsmokers still make good decisions. That is so not true. My mother was a hippy oh so many years ago, and when she would smoke, all her cares would disappear, including my brother and I. We didn't get fed, put to bed, or nurtured. Any parent who makes that choice does not have the wits to care for their child.

People who smoke pot have the same visual and thought delays as a drinker, shown in studies, and if there was an emergency, how in the heck would they take an injured child to the hospital? If a housefire started, how long would it take them to realize it and would they even think to get the kids out of the house. it goes much deeper than just when the kids are awake, there needs to be a sober adult who can be responsible.

I'd never send my kids over there. Good luck with this one. Yeah, the no-drug rules are going to stick, those kids are probably already thinking "HYPOCRITES!" Even if it's not in front of the kids, we always knew when my mom had been smoking. What a bunch of idiots.

Answer 4

Ok, well, I was raised in house were marijuana was smoked most of my life. I am not ignorant to it and neither are children in that situation. I am not going to say that this influences the children to do it, b/c it by far turned me completely against it. But I think if parents are going to expect their children not to do something they should teach what they preach. Of course, I really do not think my parents would care, which brings up the whole issue of good parents verses bad parents and I am not going to go into that. Imagine how hard it is for a child to go to school and be told "Kids, don't do drugs" and know what is going on in their house. Schools don't take into consideration how many children live with druggies and alcoholics... and even not smoking in front of the kids, the smell rubs off. SO I do not think it is okay. That's my opinion, but I know it won't have any affect on the thousands of household that it happens in on a daily basis.

Answer 5

First of all how could a parent that does drugs tell their children to not do drugs. That's going against something that they are doing themselves. Parents are suppose to be role models. Think about this, second-hand smoke is considered to be just as damaging as first-hand smoke. So if a child breathes in pot, it would be the same as the child doing pot. Kids are not clueless, they can recognize many smells. They will become very curious, and when they get an opportunity later on to smoke pot, they will do it. They'll most likely do it because it's like what kids say, if my parents do it, then I what's so wrong with it? ......So, needless to say I agree with you, that it shouldn't be done in the home with young children. If a parent does do it in a home with a child then obviously they don't care about their child and their child's health. Sounds like people need to grow up and do what's best for their kids.

Answer 6

I completely see your point and agree with you,however i would suggest that from time to time there is no real harm in it.
I am a mom of 7kids and I have to admit that on occasion I really enjoy a joint or two but nomore. Sometimes during the summer and when all the kids are in bed my husband and I sit at the bottom of the garden and smoke a joint together.....it is really relaxing and enjoyable and has never nor should it effect our obligations as parents.
Bear in mind this happens maybe three or four times a year and it is completely without our childrens knowledge.
While we operate a no drugs rule when it comes to our kids y husband and I are relatively honest about our own drug experiences. I personally nor would I ever experimented with any other drugs besides alcohol and marajuana(this incluse nicotine). I like a drink and a joint on occasion and I see no real problem with it.
Although we do not encourage it, if I found out that my kids who are of college age were smoking marijauna I would point out the risks of frequent use and I would be honest about my smoking it.
whatever you may think.....smoking marijauna does not lead to the use of harder drugs nor is it addictive,it is the tabacco that is often rolled in it that is adictive not the plant itself. I am 37years old and I first smoked marijuana when i was 19 and I have never since nor will I ever move on to anything else.
So in short within reason I don't belive it to be too serious.

Answer 7

I think that it really depends on the person. I know a lot of people that are pot smokers, but are also very responsible. They would never smoke it around children or if they had to be responsible for a child.

On the other hand, I know people who would not just get stoned, but ripped before babysitting.

I think that there is a difference between smoking pot responsibly and smoking it chronically, just like alcohol. I have met a few children who have been raised around parents who taught them that pot was for adults and meant to be smoked in moderation and they never had issues with other drugs. They smoke pot, but they have never abused it.

Either way, I htink that you are only a negligent mother if you are knowingly sending your children somewhere where the only supervision will be by adults who are too impared by THC to properly supervise a child, but I also think that as parents you should both come to a decision on where pot stands in your "when you're older" category.

Answer 8

I agree never do it once you have kids. I would never send my kids to a house that had families with drugs or alcohol being used while the children are around. NO DRUGS OF ANY KIND should be used once your a parent. I maybe overly protective to go on to the point of looking at the parent's relationship with each other and even their sexual preference but I am raising my sons the way I think is right. I don't care what other parents think about how I raise them. It is my choice just like it is your choice to not send them there.

Answer 9

I think it's wrong too. What if an emergency should occur.... a child breaks his arm per say... will your husband feel "sober" enough to take the little one into the hospital? How would he feel all stoned having to sign him in and do all the paperwork and answer questions in front of a doctor that knows full well he's higher then a kite. Kid has a broken bone, father is stonned.... what kind of signal is that putting off *** to your parenting and household function??? If you have children you shouldn't be smoking, anything really, but pot most definitly.

Answer 10

I think it's illegal, but that's as far as my feelings go on this.

But, parents always do things that they think their children shouldn't - have sex, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, etc.

However, I don't think it's wise for a parent to be under the influence of anything while children are in their care. To do so would be irresponsible, and in a severe case, could lead to a parent being seen as unfit and reckless.

I do think you have a bit of incorrect evidence that you are basing your opinions on, but I do agree with you. I wouldn't want someone who regularly gets high to take care of my children just as I wouldn't want someone who regularly gets drunk to take care of my children.

As for the "gateway effect" I think that's still in the air. It's mostly propaganda - the companies come up with statistics that are purposely misleading. The basic case isn't so much that people who use marijuana end up using hard drugs, it's that so many people using harder drugs have once done marijuana simply because it's more mainstream and easier/cheaper to get.