divorced dad needs advice from other divorced parents how much contact do u have with your exwife?

Question

i'm a dad to a 7yr old son matt who is my life.i have joint custody with my exwife and we split our time with him 50/50.my question is how much contact(email,phone calls ect) do you have with your ex?the problem is my ex hates my new wife(for no good reason) and which in turns makes my new wife want me to have nothing to do with her except for real emergencies about my son.please i don't want anyone to tell me how to deal with my wife or exwife.

Answer 1

I have an 11 yr old daughter me and her mom got divorced when she was 6. My ex wife is remarried to a police officer lol I don't like the police that much but he treats my daughter good and we get along ok. I call my exwife whenever I want to sometimes just to say hi and sometimes with questions or because I need help with something and she does the same thing she is always willing to help as so am I. We both love are daughter very much and understand she loves both of us and getting along is soooo much better then fighting or hating each other which is something that we used to do alot.

Answer 2

I have been divorced 3 times , I have 4 children with my second wife , I can tell you from experience that there is no easy solution to your problem, I spent 6 years in a custody battle with her and everything seemed to be increasingly bitter between us. I have found that an ex is an ex for a reason and its because you could not get along. all it seemed to do is make things more difficult for the children and I still carry a great deal of animosity towards her for destroying my family and I have now been divorced from her longer than I was married to her . I discovered it was easier on me not to have anything to do with her except for the important issues with the children and even that is difficult. I sympathise with you and hope you have better results with your situation than I did with mine.

Answer 3

Honestly, it's not up to your new wife to make that decision. You have a responsibility to your child, and that is JOINTLY with your ex. You have to maintain contact and you have to discuss your child. I have a four year old, and I'm recently divorced, and it's crucial to your child's emotional welfare to keep a good relationship with your ex. You don't have to be best friends, but you should be able to attend functions, and just be there for your child. It's not about the two of you. It's your son that has to come first. Keeping in touch for emergencies is no having true contact with your child, and your ex and your new wife need to learn to at least be cordial.

Answer 4

there is a small yet very powerful book you need asap at the library called Fathers rights. author is by Gross. it should only take about 45 min. to read and understand your role as a father when it comes to protecting your son and your self from certain unforeseen yet real situations we as fathers encounter . i my self am a father of 2,daughters youngest is 3 with me 90%. I'm in my 30s and my children are everything .so if Matt is your life then you should already be turning off your tube and by the end of the day be done reading the book futhermore you will end up giving needed security to your self with peace of mind to be a great father ..spending more time doinng the things that count ( with him by your side) Matt learning how to be a great man just like his dad no mater what you do .. then in short you will reflect back at this with great stature and belief and new found purpose

Answer 5

Can't say I blame the new wife, but.... when my ex and I split I didn't like his new girlfriend either. He dumped me for her and it hurt, but I NEVER denied him any time with his daughter because of this. He could see or talk to her ANYTIME he wanted. I encouraged the relationship to keep open between them. I feel children need both parents unless their is abuse, etc. going on. Unfortunately all parents aren't this way and will only abide by what is written in the court order. BOTH wives must realize you need to do what is in the best interest of your son. They will both get over this in time too, believe me. I am happily remarried and am friends with the girlfriend I hated 11 yrs. ago. She did me a favor. I just didn't realize it at the time. Keep in contact as much with your son as you can.

Answer 6

Contact is unlimited but only if you have a good relationship with your ex. If you don't and she won't allow it, it's unfortunate, but you have to go by the court order. But, the court order should have in it that if you call she must let you talk to your son or you can have that entered into the court order. Say, for instance, you want to talk to your son every Wednesday at 5 p.m., that can be put in the court order. If you want to talk to him on the days you don't have him, within reason (like not every hour or two hours every day) you can have that put in a court order. As long as it's not interfering with her visitation time or plans, you can call/email as much as you like.

Also -- and I know you don't want any "advice" on this -- but I would take a second look at that second wife of yours not wanting you to have much to do with your own son. Just my two cents worth.

Answer 7

There's just no making everyone happy. I feel for you. Is your ex contacting you for anything else besides your son? Do you owe her money? You're new wife married you knowing what was going on. Tell her to relax. Getting mad isn't helping you or your son. My ex and I get along, and we call when there's something going on at school, health, play dates etc.

Answer 8

Make everyone happy, let the x know there's areason why she is the x. Let the new one know that she is the lady of the hour. As long as you and the x are only talking about MATT that should be the only concern.

Answer 9

My ex and I keep in contact, sometimes alot and sometimes not. We make better friends than we did spouses and have no issues about that. We have kids that are grown and even though they are grown, the ex and I refuse to fight and make things harder than they have to be.

Answer 10

Your son will always be your son.Spend as much time as you can,because they grow up quick.Let your present wife and your ex know that it isn't about them,It's about you and your son.He has to come first....