How long do I have to wait?

Question

I'm alone and I hate it and every time I complain to my mom and counselors ond people on yahoo answers they tell me to be patient, it'll happen. I do everything I can think of, I've waited my whole life, i'm surronded by people who don't have to wait, who just have friends like it's natural. I was told every year in high school that next year will be better, never is. I was tald that University would be better because I'm in a new city with all new people and I had my hopes all up, but now 6 months later nothing's changed and I'm more dissapointed than ever. I did the be outgoing and friendly thing, didn't work. Why do I have to wait so long? How long do I have to wait? Why do some many other people just go hang out with people like there's nothing to it? Why don't other people understand that it's NOT easy and waiting is not working!?!?

Is it too late? have I already missed too much?

i'm not afraid to approach people, I meet new people all the time and still...

I don't spend all my time waiting, I spend all my time looking for other people, I wait in the food court for people to have lunch with, I listen to them, all I do is listen to other people talk about people that I've never met! I have a hobby, I play violin but I just started and it takes years before you can play with a group, plus I don't have any friends to play with. I've met lots of people that I have things in common with and I like, but they all forget about me quickly.

I've tried everything that's been suggested (except going to bars because i'm not old enough yet)...I pretty much am ready to quit, I'm not destined to have friends

I've tried everything that's been suggested (except going to bars because i'm not old enough yet)...I pretty much am ready to quit, I'm not destined to have friends

Answer 1

Well, there isn't any one answer to your question, which you already knew. You need to keep in good spirits! Being lonely is a hard feeling to cope with. Just keep a good attitude about being one day closer to the ending of the loneliness. I'm sure you've met some, they just didn't inspire you. Think about what kind of things you would want to do if there was someone around. Try getting involved with whatever it may be. Don't be shy of letting people know that you are bored and need to get out. They'll be more likely to think of you when something comes up. And make sure your presence is one that is enjoyed, fun, happy attitude, and smile. Good Luck, things will get better. Stay busy.

Answer 2

First of all, it's never too late. You're young. You have TONS of time. Just relax.

Second, why are you waiting?! Don't wait around for things to happen to you. Decide what you want for yourself and GO GET IT! Grab it! Take control! Choose your life and turn it into what you want it to be. Waiting will get you precisely nowhere.

You're focused on the wrong things. Focus on doing the things that bring you joy right now. Go out into the world and do stuff. Swim, skate, bike, read, shop, do volunteer work. Join a club. Join the Y. Form a club of your own, even if it's only online. Be active and busy and you will forget all about waiting and you will be living.

And in doing all that, you'll make friends with other people without even realizing you're doing it.

And voila...you'll have a life. No more waiting for one.

Answer 3

Where do you go when you are not in school? Do you go to church? Do you go to tutor other students? How about volunteering your time? Do you do that?
What usually happens when we are always focused on ourselves and our own needs is that all we can see is "What I don't have". If your church does not have an outreach then this is what you should do.
1. Find out through you college how you can get involved in community service.
2. If your college does not have any information about community services that you can perform (which they very likely will) then call charities, soup kitchens, missions directly and ask if they need help. GIVE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR TIME
What will happen? How will this help YOU?
1. You will meet lots of people who are concerned about the same things you are
2. You will not have time to be feeling lonely, you'll be too busy!
3. You will look around and find that your life is completely FULL. You will have all of the people in it that you can stand.

Answer 4

maybe your shyness is read as being "aloof"? Are you waiting for a boyfriend or a friend? O wait, I think it is friend.
Do not wait anymore, as someone you think you would like as a friend if they would like to go to lunch (hey, want to catch a quick bite?) or get a coffee or something like that. Also, go ahead and volunteer or join a club that reflects your interests..it is easier to be friendly when you have the same interests as the group you are hanging around with. stop waiting, go out and make your life happen!

Answer 5

Stop waiting. It's already happened!

Get off the pity-pot and start living!

“Every problem is just an opportunity waiting to be made use of.”

“You can sit around and wait for the good things to happen to you, you can go out and make them happen.”

“You've spent your whole life running and running, trying to catch up with something that has never been there for you. And all you've done is go farther and farther away from the precious love that's been waiting for you all the time.”

“The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.”

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

“Make people wait for what they want, and you have power over them.”

“The secret of happiness is the determination to be happy always, rather than wait for outer circumstances to make one happy.”

“Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made.”

“Everything comes too late for those who only wait.”

“Things may come to those who wait...but only the things left by those who hustle.”

“Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.”

Answer 6

there must be more to this story than what you let on.Im a pretty twisted and grouchy person myself but I manage by having friendships with a variety of people.But..on my terms and only for a little while at a time.Try the friendly thing some more and do it for short periods.Keep quiet and listen more than talk..keep them quessing.maybe you just need some practice at conversation or something.You must be alright if you made it through university.

Answer 7

I understand! I'm lonely too and I'm a lot older than you. It sucks doesn't it. I feel like I'm cursed or something. Gave a listen to the Bloodhound Gang's "Why's Everybody Always Picking On Me." It'll at least make you laugh. and know your not alone.

Answer 8

what are you waiting for?? i noticed in your question that you seem to be waiting possibly for someone to come to you why not approach them being alone and considering yourself closed to the world is not going to open the door for you,its not always easy for anyone,some maybe easier than others but it is a situation that if you want it changed you change it,everyone needs friends though you may consider it difficult you wont know until you try

Answer 9

Dont worry! Heres some tips: You can join some clubs or sports teams, you can hang out with your roommate if you have one, or you can talk with classmates! Dont Worry, im sure if you do these tips then youll find a friend soon! I hope that helped! :)

Answer 10

you should try new things to meet people, some i can think of are:

join a gym
learn a new sport (i suggest golf)
go to evening classes
go out with some mates to a bar

good luck !
and dont be afraid to approach people, you never know until you try