My ex, a cop, has TEMPORAY phys. and we have JOINT legal to our boys 12 & 9, he has 95% turned the kids against me with various lies, my issue at this moment is, our oldest is 12 and Type 1 Diabetic, been invited to go away sking with a friends family, he has never skied and has not spent over a few hours in the snow, my ex is allowing him to go, the friends mom is not properly trained in emergeny situations as extreme body changes, I'm concerned, my ex does not inform me of ANYTHING going on with the kids, we go back to court on 2/23, with a new judge and I with a new Atty, it has been 13 months that ex has successfully excluded me from my kids lives, how can I prevent a tragic weekend from happening, the friends mom does not want to get involved but keeps saying she's there for the kids, she is the type to pawn her child off on someone else, I"M SO SCARED.
2007-01-28 10:25:36 · 5 answers · asked by myboyz_times2 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I also need to add my son is type 1 diabetic and is insulin dependant
2007-01-28 11:36:30 · update #1
who has had 2 seizures
2007-01-28 11:37:24 · update #2
He is on insulin pump,dianosiedin 2001,he has forgettin to check his blood sugars and adjust as needed, His dad has excluded me from his life for 13 mos now, I would not be notified if he got taken to the ER, the friends mom says she is very sorry we are going thru this, but she does not want to get involved, she will not keep me posted, she will the dad not me. So do I have the right to not let son go, the mom lets her son do what he wants, it's a vacation for her and her husband she I belive would let the kids to as they want, PRETTY SCARY
2007-01-28 11:49:10 · update #3
Those of you who respond that have never experienced a sever low seizure do not know what us parents go thru, trying to get his blood sugars back within range is very diffucult, the last seizure I experienced, it took over 3 hrs to get him above his target level which is 70, no matter how many carbs you give it may take hours, and being in tempurtures his body is not used to may be life treatening to him, i would not mind if it were his dad going, but to put the trust in another adult that you dont have confidence in, yes she is a mother herself, but i don't trust how she raises her children to have mine who has a extreme case of juvh diabetic that is insulin dependant, spend several days in the snow and not have a close tab on the kids while out sking, call me inscure, or crazy, it's very hard to trust ANYONE with my kids, SORRY
2007-01-28 12:01:06 · update #4
Wow, this is a tough one... I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have a 10 year old niece who is type 1. And I have a been through a messy divorce I hope I can help....
Firstly I will separate your problems, your son is diabetic....
What method of insulin is he on?? Pump?? Needles? Can he look after himself properly without the supervision of an adult. By this I mean, does he need to be reminded about finger tests, does he know when his levels are low or high? How long has he been living with type 1? Does he think he can handle himself without his parents for this amount of time? Does he administer the insulin himself? Can you phone the friends parents to gain some peace of mind?
I do understand your concern, type 1 is a constant daily (sometimes hourly!!) ritual, but there comes a time when your child wants to just be like the other kids and do stuff that other kids do... This can happen, but your child needs to show you that he can look after himself. You are within your rights to say no if you think he is not up to this level of independence just yet..
You are always going to worry, thats what parents do, and to be added with the extra burden of Type 1, my heart goes out to you.. If you honestly believe he can do this, then let him go... He needs this time to show you he can do this..
I hope this helps you and settles your mind somewhat!
Now for your ex...
As the situation stands, you and your ex are not going to agree on anything, there is no level of trust at this present moment and both of your emotions are very raw. The best thing you can do at this point is ride out his behavior. Your children are not stupid, regardless of the lies, they will make their own decision in time. The best thing for you to do is not retaliate and lower yourself to his standard. Regardless of how desparate you feel, just keep showing love and compassion, the children need to know that they are number 1 despite everything that is going on. I hate my ex with a passion, but whilst he walks this earth I cannot take away who he is, yes he is a deadbeat dad, but my son just adores him (god only knows why???). I have to respect that and push my own personal feelings aside..
You say he is a cop, most cops I know are power trippers, they love the fact they have that badge. Its a power source that feeds their ego.
Its time to work towards a resolution, you have a courtcase coming up.. Try and put all the hate to one side and work on a divorce and showing your children that they mean everything to you, start writing them letters or emails, call them everynight to say goodnight, maybe post them a pressie every so often. Sadly its up to your to prove to them that your ex is full of BS. Don't let his words or actions upset you any longer. You are just as powerful as he is and a far better person by the sounds of it...
You have a long road ahead of you and I wish you all the very best, stand tall and fight hard!!!
**If you believe he cannot do this then I would contact your lawyer and discuss the situation with him, you have every right to pull the pin**
2007-01-28 11:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by psycho_faerie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the facts are you always a say in your child life
your x misunderstand what parenting mean, and using the kids as a sence of showing his/her power
I am sure the child wants to go why don't you call the mother of your son's friend and talk to her about what she need to do if your shild should have a problem tell her that you are sure as a parent she is the best and your son is in good hand but because of his health you are felling insecure if you can send a note with you son concerning the do's & don't (by the way make a copy of that note just in case something goes wrong fro your lawyer)
Good luck with your custody hearing
2007-01-28 18:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern but tragedy can happen in your own back yard. Personally I do not see the harm in the kids giong skiing. I think you are overreacting. It will be a good experience for them. Hundreds of thousands of people go skiing every year for the first time and avoid tragedy. as for your rights, yes you have rights but I do not think anyone is going to forbid a parent from letting their child go skiing.
2007-01-28 18:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whoever has physical custody holds all the cards -end of story.
I would think a 12 year old would be fine on a supervised ski trip, all ski slopes have on site EMT's for emergencies. I think you are overreacting.
2007-01-28 19:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY, she HAS to tell you everything!!! Going through a custody battle and I know that joint legal custody means, all participating parties must tell each other what is going on. You also have a say in whether your child can go on this trip. It is your legal right!! Good Luck
2007-01-28 19:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by hfk75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋