Major problem between two siblings?

Question

In highschool everyone thought that my sister would be the sibling of our family (3 of us) that would make it into college. Now that me and her have graduated and started our separate lifes I am the one who has gone to college and she is working full time.
Last night I called her and she said that she didnt want to sound depressed but she feels bad everytime she calls me because she feels that she isnt doing anything admirable with her life.
I idolize her and dont want her being sad because I am doing my best to better myself, but I still want to keep in contact with her. What can I do to make my sister realize that just because she isnt in school she isnt a failure.
My sister in my eyes has done much better than me, she is working full time, living on her own, and she has a much more complex personal life than me. Her job helps touch those that are less fortunate than us.
I just need advice on how to cheer my sister up & make her see how trully sucessful she is.

Answer 1

Life is a journey that will take each of you in many different directions.Some times will be happy, some hard,and some sad.Other people will come and go from your lives but a sister is the most consistant and special relationship you will ever have. That relationship will carry you through more than you could possibly imagine.
It's very obvious that you care deeply for your sister and though your concern is for her I see difficulty that may effect your future relationship and become an obsticle for both of you.
If your sister was saying that she felt she needed to do more with her life, that she wasn't happy with what she was doing now it would be a different story but she's feeling bad because in her eyes you are doing better than she is " when she talks to you it makes her feel bad" . So in other words if you were having a bad time in your life she would feel better about hers. Does that sound like healthy reasoning to you?
This is a very unhealthy outlook that can cause much sadness between you and in her life in general. It sounds as though she is suffering from low self esteem .Your sister needs help to understand that she can work to change her life if change is what she needs but she should never base her self worth on other people. She needs to understand her own worth and capabilities and value others for their differences that together make you stronger.You need to tell her that compareing herself to you (or anyone ) is wrong and you should tell her how it makes you feel. Be straight forward and honest with her.Help her to see herself for the wonderful and capable person that I'm sure she is but don't put yourself down or downplay your own achievements to do that. There will come a time when you may feel resentment in having to do that in order to communiate with her.I think it's awesome that you recognise a problem here and even better if you can help her now rather than allowing the problem to get bigger. It may be that this is beyond you and someone independant is needed to help her resolve her feelings of inadaquacy but you will be there to help her ..... that's what sisters do!!!!
Good luck to you both. : )

Answer 2

You need to have a heart to heart talk with her, and make sure she understands that you don't think she's a failure. So just be there for her, talk things out....just because your paths separate doesn't mean that you don't idolize her or love her any less. Communication is the key. I think you and her should get together as soon as you possibly can....cause this kind of talk should be face to face if possible. I would understand if you're in another area than her because of your college. So reassure her in every area that you can. Best of luck to you......

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Just tell your sister that she is much more smarter than you because she has achieved everything thus far without having gone to college to learn how to do it.

Answer 5

Tell her how you feel and tell her there is nothing to feel bad about. Tell her that maybe her luck is just around the corner. And she just have to have faith. Show her this posting..Im 100 percent sure..she will feel better

Answer 6

Tell her exactly what you just told us. She's lucky to have you.