I am a college professor but will be leaving my job in July. I don't have another one lined up.
I have been on my own since I was 18. I spent 6 years in the army, and put myself through college and grad school. Mom helped me as she could. I mostly made my own way.
I have struggled all my life with mental illness. I was hospitalized last year, twice, and am heavily in debt.
Mom is widowed and a retired prof. This year she is living with me. She wants to fix my house, pay off my debts, buy me things, esp. nice clothes. I hate this. I I don't want things. I don't do "girl" well - I don't wear makeup or jewelry. About my future, she said "We need to have a plan B and C, too." I got angry: What is this WE? If hurt or sick, I wouldn't want her to know because she would be hovering over me. She wants to hug and kiss me too much. If I let her, she would cuddle me on the couch. She doesn't interfere in the lives of my married siblings. I am the youngest. Am I an ingrate?
2007-01-28 09:40:11 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well i do not have the college degree but you might need to lighten up on yourself you are a special person. you have to give mom here own she only has your best in mind .have you tried to do something for you lately? just because you don't like girly things so what i bet you have quite a few special qualities if given a chance to show . granted we need to think of short mid. and long term goals but all in good time. try talking to mom about how you feel and why you need her to chill out she all ready raised you now it is your time to show how gooda job she has done .ihave been working since 13 .air force honorable.but i had to explain to my parents it is my time to prove they done afine job .That God does not make junk. you will do just fine keep hanging in there . oh ya dont take any wooden nickles.!!!!!!!!!!ha. ha. mom just loves you .
2007-01-28 10:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by JAYHAWKER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps what is needed here is some sort of compromise.
Without knowing all the details, one might suggest that she might 'fix up' her room and leave the rest to you.
I appreciate that you don't do 'girl' very well, but, would it hurt to have something girlish that you could wear on occasion for her benefit?
She lost a loved one and knows how she feels being alone, she sees you alone and may transfer her feelings to you and try and protect you (she is still a mom and mom's protect their young).
Try to work out some arrangement whereby both of you get some satisfaction. Neither one of you wants to be resentful of the other and that's what will happen.
2007-01-28 18:51:28 · answer #2 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're lucky to be so loved and cared for. Sounds like you have a great mom....but maybe she's a little smothering. Sounds like she has made you her "project". Maybe she's lonely and just doesn't have anything else to do. Does she have other friends and hobbies? If not, maybe you could help her to get involved in other things, like volunteering, or a woman's club, or just going to lunch with old friends....then maybe she won't be so focused on only you.
2007-01-28 18:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by chrismayflorer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you sit and talk. Tell her shes kind but she must butt out of your personal life?
2007-01-28 17:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by peg42857 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋