my friend and her boyfriend have lived together for years and are fially tying the knot. they all ready have all the household items they need. Is their a proper way to ask for money instead of gifts? do you include it in the invitation? she's trying not to be tacky or rude about it.
2007-01-28 09:32:18 · 15 answers · asked by autumn r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is considered very inappropriate to send any gift information (money or otherwise) with the invitations. The best way to "ask" for money is to have someone else do it for them (although the couple should never appear to expect gifts)... Spreading the word through bridesmaids, friends, family, and so on is the best way to ensure that the couple gets what they want. Another option would be to create a "wedding website" and instead of listing a registry, to set up a link to some fund (such as the honeymoon one mentioned earlier). Hope this helps!
2007-01-28 09:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn G 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
There is no proper way to ask for a gift. I also lived with my husband before we got married for a number of years and we had a very full wishing well and only a few gifts. People will give money because they will assume they have everything already.we did do a gift registry and asked for sheets etc just to let people know the co lours we are doing our new house in and what themes we like in decorating because some people will buy gifts.She could use a gift registry to get the things they like but, probably wouldn't buy for themselves (China,camping gear,tools)
i hope this helps she could also register at a travel agency for a honeymoon but,she may find she has to come up with a lot of money to cover the amount that wasn't received in order to go anywhere.
Don't put anything in the invitation that's completely tacky!And remember gifts can always be returned.
2007-01-28 17:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by emmandal 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My fiance and I lived together for a few years before we got married too so we were in the same situation. It worked out well for us though, we did include info for 2 places that we registered at, and we asked for a few things we needed, (including gift cards that you can request from a store in amounts you request as well), for the most part, family members would say, "you guys probably have everything you need so would you just prefer money?" ...and I would be honest and nicely just say "yeah, that would be fine." People usually realize that if you live together, you don't need many household items. But if she is still worried about it, I don't think it would be too horrible to say cash gifts are ok as well. Some people might find it tacky but if you don't want a lot of junk you don't need, I guess you just have to speak up. and tell her not to forget, most people include gift receipts so it might be a pain, but she can return a lot of the stuff! lol :)
2007-01-28 17:47:18 · answer #3 · answered by Cindy C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is inappropriate to ask for any type of gift at a wedding, including money. I cannot imagine that they have EVERYTHING that they need or will need (glasses break, pots and pans wear down, towels fade in color, etc...). The best thing to do is register at two places, but they should not include the registeration cards in the invites. Include on the registry gift cards in denominations of $25, $50 and $100.
2007-01-28 22:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by nnaming2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, there is no polite way to ask for money or to ask for ANY gifts. Gift suggestions and registries have NO PLACE in an invitation, and asking for money would be DOUBLY rude.
Almost EVERYONE getting married these days already has a house full of stuff. That doesn't suddenly make it polite to dictate peoples' gift giving or request money (it is also rude to ask for gift cards or to have a money registry of ANY type, also honeymoon registries are improper as well).
They can either choose to register for tangible items that they DO need for their married life together, or they can choose not to register at all and just sit back and let people gift them with whatever they want to. That, in fact, is the most polite route.
Tell your friend that a big percentage of guests will simply gift them money anyways, out of dislike for shopping, or out of laziness-- WITHOUT the bride and groom having to stoop so low as to ask for money gifts.
2007-01-28 19:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You never ask for gifts. Never. That is completely tacky. When people beg for gifts I make sure not to get them any.
Here is what you do. Do not register anywhere, and when people ask then you can say that you would prefer money. The guests have to ask, you can't tell them anything before that. Let it spread by word of mouth.
2007-01-28 17:49:36 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it would be tacky...i would try to think of a poem to put in the invitation so people have an idea that she really doesn't need household items..i think people would respect the fact that she is being honest and isn't wasting their time on trying to find something they need..good luck
2007-02-01 15:08:40 · answer #7 · answered by twinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they cannot ask for money, gift cards, etc. It is tacky and rude, and since that is what you say she is trying to avoid, there is just no way to do it that way. Just be gracious and accept whatever gifts people choose to give you. Just be nice.
2007-01-28 21:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if she is trying not to be tacky or rude about it then she just doesnt mention it. simple as that. mentioning gifts at all is rude. gifts should be the last thing on their mind. when I got married my husband and I had already lived together and had everything we needed. when people asked what we wanted we told them please not to give us anything as we didnt feel giving gifts for a wedding were necessary. people who still wanted to give something bought us something they thought we would like or give us some money. others didnt give anything at all and we were fine with that. if she doesnt need anything then she doesnt need her guests money either. tell her to focus on her wedding plans, not her quests wallets.
2007-01-28 18:25:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
asking for money is just tacky, the only way they can say they want money for wedding gifts is if they are going to donate to a local hospital shelter ec. i also think what some of the other readers said is cool to do your honeymoon they already have everything at home, also you can be a voice if you come across so of the guests on the wedding list say oh what are you folks getting so an so an then you say oh that sounds nice i am giving them some cash cus they have everything i can think of an leave it at that
2007-01-28 20:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋