why did she say i was a bad parent?

Question

i was talking to another mother and told her my kid goes to bed at 11 pm and wakes up at 10:30 am. i am a stay at home mom, so i don't see the reasoning behind putting her to bed early and waking her up early. ofcourse when i start bak to work in a few months, we will change her sleeping patterns, but she told me i was being a bad mother? anyone have any reasoning why people tink your child HAS TO be in bed by 8 pm?

my daughter is on a routeine, she just starts it at 1030 instead of 7. i feel it gives her more time with daddy< he gets home at 8 pm.> i am planning on moving the bed time up by 30 min a week four weeks before i start my job

yes my daughter gets plenty of sleep and is a very happy child. i believe she will be fine when we start to change, especially since i plan to do it gradually over a few months

Answer 1

I don't know your "friend", but sounds like she's got her head up her butt. As long as your child is getting enough sleep, I would have to say that it's YOUR business when she goes to bed. Depends on your life and needs.

When you go back to work, you'll probably want her to get on an earlier schedule, though. It's easiest to do if you do it as a gradual thing starting a couple of weeks ahead of time, but no, you are NOT a bad mommy.

I have a 6 year old daughter, and my son will be born in a few weeks, and one thing I have learned is that there are a lot of high-and-mighty people out there, but they aren't the ones raising YOUR kid, so try to take what they say with a grain of salt.

As long as your kid is happy and healthy, that's all that really matters...the sleep thing will come with time and when needed.

Answer 2

When I was a kid, if there was no school, we could go to bed pretty much whenever we wanted; of course, after playing hard outside all day, we were zonked and ready for bed by about 9 or 10 p.m! But when school started, we -had- to be in bed by 8:30 and up at 7. We never had any trouble switching back and forth. So don't sweat what that other lady said.
However, once it's time for you to switch your child's sleep schedule, you might want to avoid giving her any heavy meals or sweet drinks or snacks within an hour of her bedtime. It will make her hyper and unable to relax.

Answer 3

pardon my one handed typing

my kids were on almost an identical schedule until this past august when the oldest started school. it took most of august to "reprogram" her, we started by sending her to bed 30 minutes sooner for 3 days, then 30 minutes sooner again. by the time school began she was going to bed by 8 all on her own, she is completly programmed. she wakes up on her own at 7:30 and my 2 yr old also got naturally programmmed at this time. It was not hard. There were no tears. Now my kids are in bed at 8:30 or 8:45 (my daughter started waking up earlier, so we concluded she needed slighly less sleep) and there is no battle EVER.

you do what works for your family and as long as your kids are happy and healthy don't worry about what others think.

when you are ready to "reprogram" their internal clock starrt at least 3 weeks in advance and go gradually but be firm and don't allow "just one more hour" or anything like that.

you are doing fine, just because one person puts their kids to bed at 7 doesn't make it right for you. My friend has dinner at 5 pm and put hers kids to bed at 7, they are up at 6 am. I would go crazy with those hours, but both are kids are doing great.

Answer 4

She should have kept that comment to herself, it was unnecessary. I'm a stay-at-home mom and have an 11 month old and she goes to bed at 7-7:30 every night and gets up around 6. But that's just what works for us, she set that schedule all by herself! Hey, your child is getting enough sleep, right? No big deal. You can do things however you want. And if it works for you child and they are happy then who cares what anyone else has to say about it!

Answer 5

My baby is the same way...goes to bed around 12 and gets up around 9 or 10 (she also takes a nap or two during the day) because my husband works until 11 so she can see Daddy for a bit before bed and if I put her to bed earlier (because her crib is in our room) she would be woken up by him coming home and changing out of his work clothes and settling into bed later anyway. It is what works best for all of us.
As long as your child is getting a proper amount of sleep and you don't have any other reason to change yet. You will have to for school later of course but for now do what works best for your schedules as a Family!

Answer 6

Our daughter was on a similar schedule when she was younger. My husband and I are the most wide awake during the night, and our daughter seemed to inherit that from us too. As my daughter got older we started getting her on a more traditional schedule, especially since she's now in school. But a lot of nights she still has a difficult time falling asleep early. Don't sweat it, you are a good Mom, as long as your kid is getting enough hours of sleep, it doesn't matter what those hours are. Next time you see that Mom doing something that could be perceived as wrong, then ask her how she'd feel if you pointed it out and told her she was a bad parent.

Answer 7

I think you're doing fine. Your child is obviously getting enough sleep so I wouldn't worry. But due to the hours she's keeping, it is going to be a big change when you go back to work and she has to be up by 7am or so. I would start changing her slowly now until you can get her to usual hours for working families and school. You've not done anything bad, it's just a habit that's a little difficult to change in children. And you need to change your own sleep schedule too! If you're up till midnight and up at 6, you won't be at your best for your daughter or your job.

Answer 8

Kinda judgmental I think. As long as you are nurturing your child and giving her her essential needs I can't see what is wrong with bedtime at 11pm. She is getting the rest she needs. If the other moms idea of the right schedule is okay for her that's fine, but to say you are a bad mother because of your schedule is really quite presumptuous and downright rude.
I would say forgive her anyway and make closer friends with mothers who are flexible.
As you say a good idea to start changing her bedtime schedule soon before you get back to work.

Answer 9

Having your child on a time schedule is extremely important because once he/she begins school - it will be easier on them.
Nearly all children are in bed by 8 pm.
Allowing her to sleep in until 10:30 is just creating bad habits.

Answer 10

She's jealous because she can't keep those hours, herself.
My son slept nearly the same hours your child does and my son (who is now 21) turned out just fine. There's nothing wrong with the hours your daughter sleeps as long as she is getting *enough* sleep and is functioning well during the day, and not tired. You will need to ease her into different hours, of course, when she starts regular school hours.