For my living , I presently have to drive great distances to do store to store sales. I am camping in my van for months on end. Although there is a side to me that loves the freedom of my own self-employed business, I feel I lack stability in my life. Some people say that marriage helps you to become more stable, but I have been married twice, and felt even more unstable when the former spouse walks away with your child, so I have my doubts. Marriage seems to help stabalize some people, but it seems that it is more up to the individual, and not the realtionship that will stabalize someone. Any thoughts ?
2007-01-28 09:06:39 · 15 answers · asked by Gaura 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Find something in your life that you love and goe for it. Maybe a career change, a hobbie that you have alwyas wanted to take up. Maybe buy a property or rent somewhere that you can call home and go back to between jobs. That can be a stable first step. Take time to think and dream (not whilst driving, hehe) to remember who you are and how important you are. If you're not married and not the primary care giver to your child then you haven't got people depending on you too much, then this is the time to be somewhat selfish and take the time to find some stabe ground by doeing what it is you need to do. Maybe even travel to see the world and decide what you want from it. Good luck.
2007-01-28 09:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry someone exactly like you. But I honestly don't think you should marry at all. Travel is too hard on people. Women generally want a place they can stay, so it's a bad idea to drag someone with you, and even worse to put them through the agony of you leaving.
I think you should start an excercise routine. If you say to yourself 'I will run every day for an hour at exactly this time, no matter where I am.' - that will offer you a huge amount of stability.
Or you could get a dog. They really help to regulate people's lives.
Stability is a frame of mind. That's it.
2007-01-28 17:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by C.B. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a definite that individuality determines conformity or nonconformity. Stability comes from awarness of being "you." If you are complete in who you are and what you are doing than it shouldn't be an issue. Seeing you're questioning your own life choices, I think perhaps another form of employment should be considered. If traveling and living out of a van makes you feel unstable, then it's safe to say it's not working. Stability could come in the form of a 9-5, an apartment, friends to socialize with on the weekends, etc...You make it what is is...so choose...
2007-01-28 17:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by silhouette 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it was John Locke who said something along the lines that the only thing we truly own or the only thing we can ever truly possess is our labor. I have found that the only thing that has ever stabalized me and quite frankly given me purpose is work. I know you are working now and I would risk implying it may be the most stable thing in your life (or most stabilizing). IF marriage or relationships aren't for you - then try a new job. Maybe a 9-5 thing (ack!) - but hey - that's what I got now :-). Good luck bro.
2007-01-28 17:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Another Garcia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should definitely keep to the line of work you do if you are comfortable with it. Since marriage is not working for you, maybe you could find a female roommate and slowly build a relationship from that point, and just live mutually as friends. You should also set a goal for your financial situation... perhaps looking into IRAs or mutual funds. With a set goal, life will seem a bit more organized. Give it a try. Good luck!
2007-01-28 17:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that stability should be first of all an expression of how you feel with yourself
If you are stable, you are married and stay stable and if you are not, marriage may cause you to feel more unstable.
A man that feels unstable with himself and feel stability in marriage is a man that has strong dependency with his partner.
I would not suggest anyone to get married in order to become more stable, as you already see, there is no one Truth in this business, it varied from one person to another.
Sometime people want to overcome their loneliness feeling and call that stability.
My mo-to is , first of all live with yourself well in all aspects of life, then think of relationship as love in which you can give and get , and of course , you should find the right person that has a rich inner life to share with you things and not to imprison you in the golden cage
2007-01-28 17:20:21 · answer #6 · answered by really? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I use a circle metaphor. Your circle has you in the middle usually. You start to push this circle outward to include others into your area of concern and well being. The bigger the circle the less you influence your self and you achieve stability. Think of your circle changing sizes when you go from one situation to another. If someone attacks your ideas than it may shrink to a very small ring and you defend your self. But this restricts your view and your reference becomes less stable because the circle size changes your judgment. Keep your circle out there, practice when you take hits.
2007-01-28 17:14:25 · answer #7 · answered by Ron H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a church. I believe mine to be the true church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This is the true church of Jesus Christ. The church teaches the same no matter where you go and if you do pray about it and find it to be true and you join, then they will give you responsibilities. Or if you do not want to go the church route, get in touch with family members especially your children first, then siblings and especially your parents, if you are unable to visit then write them all lots of letters, everyone may not write back but a lot will. Family first but then get in touch with old friends they will love to hear from you even if they are as far back as your school days. Do geneology finding out about your roots will help you feel like you belong in the world.
2007-01-28 17:20:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's the individual. Some people need another person to be stable others don't. Do whatever makes you happy and enjoy your life.
2007-01-28 17:11:49 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stability is nice and all however it can also lead to a mundane boring life as well.
Guess its all perpective...grass is not always greener on the other side.
As long as ones happy stability or lack of shouldnt matter much however its up to the person i guess.
2007-01-28 17:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by spidercents123 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋