i am in an LDR with the most wonderful girl. i have no doubt that she is the only girl for me, and i am certain she feels the same way. it will be a couple of years before we meet, but she wants to come and live with me as soon as she can. what i want to know is - what happens when people finally start living together after an LDR? what are the pitfalls? what problems will we face? i would like to hear from anyone who has experience in this, good and bad.
2007-01-28 07:47:05 · 17 answers · asked by wolf man 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks for the answers, so far its all good advice. i want to reassure eveyone that i have every intention of marrying her (something we have already talked about) and we have both been honest and up front with each other (maybe not to the point where she knows what i smell like in the morning!) but certainly to the point where she knows the type of area i live in, what i do for a living and how little it pays me. i dont intend to lure her over here under false pretenses, she knows exactly what she is getting into.
2007-01-28 08:24:35 · update #1
what can i say denise? yes she does live in another country, the clue there is the phrase 'LONG DISTANCE relationship'... and strangely enough no, she hasnt asked me for anything other than love and affection. oh, i bought her a xmas present, does that count?
2007-01-28 08:35:35 · update #2
Hmm...I am in the same situation as you, though the time frame wont be dragged out nearly as long, so I am curious to see what people tell you...I know this, its not a bad way of getting to know someone at all...you actually have to talk to each other and get to know one another...
2007-01-28 07:52:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful. It can be awesome when you finally make it, but moving in together isn't the end. You have to get used to all the little things that you've never even noticed before, you have to fit into each other's lives, you have to deal with that person being there all the time and getting to know the real them.
If you really want my opinion, move to the same place, but either share a house with other people or live seperatly, just for a few months. That way if things don't work out you don't have to start your whole lives again, plus if she's moving to your place it means she can develop a life independant of you which is SO important. One person is never enough for us; she will need her own life, friends, job, social group. It also lets you get used to all those little things, grow and adapt to each other.
You have all the time in the world. There's no rush. Enjoy getting to know her slowly. There are a million things you'll find out about her that will make you love her even more, the way she leaves you notes, or folds her washing or the shampoo she uses, her morning routine. Take time to find these things out, think of it as a game of pass the parcel - it wouldn't be so much fun if you just got the present at the end instead of having to unwrap each little layer. Just, take it slowly.
2007-01-28 16:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by kittenwhiskers456 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Wolf Man I am also in a LDR. When we were chatting on line it was wonderful and it appeared that we had many things in common. However, I could not or would not say that either of us were in love with one and other while chatting. Anyone can be anything or portray anyone they want on line (as I found out with meeting another woman). But when we I met my fiance in person it was wonderful but it was a little while until we committed to one and other. In my opinion I would suggest that you two meet face to face and truly get to know each other before making any plans of moving in together before you've even met. There may be things that one of you really doesn't like about the other and so this relationship may go down the tubes. In reality you have found someone to chat with at present but to say that you are in love at this time sounds a little far fetched. Sorry for sounding so blunt but that is the way it is in reality.
2007-01-28 15:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know how old you are or how long you have been talking to her and the logistics of why it will be 2 years before you meet but buddy you cant move in straight away what are you in love with? ....... answer - what youve read on a pc screen and everything else youve seen
I was in an LDR and it was good while it lasted and it was special but there is a chance you will never meet because of impatience
sure you may have talked about everything but mate at the end of the day the main pit fall is -
desire and impatience because both of you are putting your lives on hold
you need to meet very soon because the main problem with LDR is impatience and wanting to be around the one you want rather than having to wait
2007-01-28 16:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by Music fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though your in this relationship it will take time to get to know her all over again when you finally meet up.
Jumping into a situation like moving in together while not really knowing what the others likes and dislikes in that area willbe a challenge. Living with someone you care about has its ups and downs
2007-01-28 15:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met my husband while playing an online game. He lived in another state. My advice would be to make sure that you meet a couple of times before you move in together. You wouldn't want to wait several years only to potentially be disappointed. It will be worth the money to invest in this relationship. Don't potentially waste years of your life.
2007-01-28 15:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually did marry a guy from another country, and we've been married 7 years. So it can work out just fine! :) I think it depends more on the people than the distance.
2007-02-05 15:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel...I think I am falling in love with a guy in Iraq. I have never met him face to face, but we have been e-mailing back and forth. The thing with that is, I don't know when, or if, he's coming home. So what I am trying to say is: If God wants it to work out, it will. Trust that God will help you through.
2007-02-05 08:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is a good idea. You don't really know each other. Both have been on your best behaviour. You have not had an opportunity to experience her faults, and she may not be able to tolerate your bad habits. Help her get a small apartment close to your place so you can really get to know each other before she moves in.
2007-01-28 15:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by Ti 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean you have not actually met her? Oh please get a grip - you have no idea what she is like or just how wonderful she is. before you fall any further into this fantasy i suggest you SURPRISE her by turning up for a visit. Why do I get the feeling she livs in another country? has she asked for money yet?
2007-01-28 16:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋