I love my boyfriend very much but he has a tendancy to get jealous and paranoid when i make friends with other males and want to hang out with them. Well he even doesn't like me going out for a night on the town with the girls (he lets me go, but he hates it) incase i might meet some guys and make friends with them. I tend to get on better with guys as mates, rather than chicks. Anyway recently i met a guy in town with the girls one night, who i have formed a friendship with (and thats all, he has a partner, and nothing dodgy going on! and no i am not cheating on my bf) Anyway i need to go somwehere today which is 1.45hr away and he has offerd to drive me. I accepted, glad of the company as i hate driving that far by myself. However i feel bad about it, because of my boyfriend. Should i feel bad for wanting to hang out with guy mates occasionally?
2007-01-28 07:44:07 · 26 answers · asked by jiveybaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
p.s i would have gone with my boyfriend, but he has to work. and i have to go today coz its urgnet. I am looking at a car for sale, and it might get sold if i leave it to my bfs next day off.
2007-01-28 07:56:45 · update #1
Hi Jiveybaby,
Let me ask you this. Ask yourself and answer it honestly. How would you feel if your bf is goin out with the guys and getting to know girls? Would you feel comfortable? Would you mind if he said "Sorry hun, i feel like hanging with a friend (that girl) tonight. (instead of spending it with you) Would you be able to sit alone at home and watch tv and not feel frustrated? or slightly jealous? The most common reason why a guy gets jealous for this kinda reason cos he truely loves the girl. So please treasure that! He cares a lot for you. 1 more thing. This guy who offered the drive. Did he tell his gf he would drive you and did you tell your bf about the drive?? If your answer is no and no? Why so secretive? It's common to be paranoid when the person you love is doing something dodgy behind your back. It's human nature. You are scared to lose them. That's love. I hope you find my views helpful. I hope your relationship last forever. Take care. :-)
2007-01-28 08:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by Dominic John 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as you describe it? No I see no reason to feel guilty.. yer BF has some insecurity issues though.. and apparently for no reason (it would be different if there were reasons)
Hell I always hung out with girls way more than i ever did guys.. I dont really like most guys all that much and we dont really have much in common interests (I could care less(but not much less) about sports and NASCAR and such)
I think I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body..
Speaking of which.. there is the class of lil insecure BOYS out there that are gonna think if you hang around girls.. yer a lesbian.. With that type you cant win.. though likely he will wanna watch the first 5 times.. but he'll still likely give ya a black eye for it eventually..
fact is there are "morons" in the world.. and well truthfully.. they make up a good 75%+ of the world..(its actually higher but I'm trying to be nice.. why I dont know.. I fell sorry for ya'll I guess..) this one is easily in that percentile.. and so are you.. you hadda ask a question that some one with an IQ of 86 or less should have known and been self evident.. You rode the short bus didnt you?
HOLY crap this isnt rocket science or brain surgery people.. and its not even remotley NEW.. at least entertain me with something new.. SHEESH
case in point and I quote from some moron above..
" You guys are not married so he has no right to control you"
I shouldnt need to say any more BUT for the MORONS out there.. this chick is saying OK after you get married its OK that the HE controls you... HEY OK.. any STUPID chicks out there?? I could use one.. for about 2 weeks.. then yer *** is outta here.. need I say anymore about morons?? male or female? I didnt think so... But those of us that arent.. we really love you substandard guys & gals.. who else is gonna pick up our garbage and clean our sewer lines??? (I'm fracking not gonna do it.. may as well be you)
THIS ONE makes me say.. NO Fracking way I can be in the same genus or species as ya'll.. I demand a DNA test.. If I I test the same.. PLEASE KILL ME.. i dont wanna live at that level
2007-01-28 15:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you want to as long as your not cheating. your boyfriend is being overbearing and overprotective because he is too self concious, he is nervous that he is not good enough for you and that you will leave him in an instant. Its all because of his own issues, I'll admit that i have felt paranoid and a little jealous when my girlfriend has gone to talk to another guy etc. I just would never say anything because its rude and would make me like like a jerk. so yeah his reaction is somewhat normal but if he gets too protective then he may have an abusive personality
2007-01-28 15:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by iwll m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...it's fine. This is the case for a lot of us girls. Maybe you could get some mutual guy friends so that you can all hang out together. I can see where he's coming from if you want to hang out with the other guys by yourself. It's probably the same if he only wanted to hang out with girls and not invite you along. It's a situation that will never be fine to him. I know from personal experience. I wouldn't stop hanging out with guys but don't get upset with him for being nervous about the situation.
2007-01-28 15:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you want to believe is going through a guys mind is up to you, but your boyfriend knows exactly what goes through a guys mind at any given moment.
If I was this "Friend" of yours I would probably be thinking "This is great, just me and her away from everyone who might see us, this is a perfect time to try and get her in the back seat for some fun without anyone finding out"
I wonder if that is going on in the back of your mind too...?
2007-01-28 15:49:30 · answer #5 · answered by cobra2140 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a gal with lots of boyfriends...and a fiance. I say NO, you need to find a man that accepts your friends of all types, and trusts you. I would say as much as you Love this guy, he might not be mature enough to be with you....There is a guy out there who will understand...just as your friends gal must accept he hangs with you.
Just like you can't help who you love (but can make a choice whether it's worth the hassle) ...You can't help who you get along with and choose as a friend!!!
2007-01-28 15:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bad. Like you've said,they are friends,and most likely he has friends who are girls also. you don't get jealous of it. He has jealousy issues that range into the area of being extremely possessive. Run for the hills! You don't want to be in a relationship where he constantly has to tell you can go out,and who to be friends with.
2007-01-28 15:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, a friend offered to help you out that's what friends do for each other. He might just be a tad over jealous but it shows he cares at least for what you want since he still lets you do what you want and isn't controlling what you do. People can be just friends with the opposite sex.
2007-01-28 15:50:04 · answer #8 · answered by hearts99992000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not feel bad as long as its innocent. It sounds like your boyfriend is very insecure. It takes a real secure man to be OK with his girlfriend hanging out with other guys. But are you sure that guy doesn't want more? He is going out of his way to drive you somewhere. It sounds like he may have ulterior motives. Be careful.
2007-01-28 15:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by mypassions4life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah you shouldn't feel bad because like you said driving that far is boring. As long as you aren't cheating on your bf then it shouldn't matter if you talk to other males and if it such a huge deal then maybe your bf doesn't trust you enough to know that you would cheat on him (not that I know you personally). What I would like to know is where was your bf when you had to take this trip.
2007-01-28 15:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by jobubba_3000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋