How long is too long?

Question

One of my best friends has recently moved.. The place she went had a manager that did not allow pets but he was supposed to be leaving and a new manager that would allow pets was coming to run the place.
She was really upset about giving away her two cats, because she would be able to have them in the future.
I, being too nice for my own good, offered to take them for a while until she could take them back.
It's been a couple of months now. The old manager is still there. The cats are still at my house.
I already had my own cat and I have to constantly keep them separated because my cat will hurt the other two.
This is causing me entirely too much work.
Now she is wanting to pay to have my cat declawed so that her cats can be around her without getting hurt too badly.
this is completely out of hand, but I have no clue how to tell her that the cats have to go.
What is the best way to explain this to her without causing a problem between the two of us?

I agree that she should not have moved to a place that didn't allow pets from the beginning.
I definitely wouldn't have moved if I couldn't take my cat.

Answer 1

U are such a great friend, and I don't believe she is recognizing that at all. She is not being entirely thoughtful. Maybe she thinks u r actually happy having the cats? U have kept the cats too long in my opinion. U have done more than ur share to help her. Have a talk with her and tell her honestly that u r really finding it inconvenient and it's a lot of work, (or whatever is truly bothering u) and maybe u both can decide together where the cats can go temporarily until she can have them back again. I am sure there are other options? Tell her u will work with her to find a good place for them.

I really think u ought to talk to her honestly about the next step. If she is even a tad thoughtful she will understand how much u hv already done for her and to not burden u so much when u r finding it difficult.

Ask her to find out again when the new manager is going to come in.

Answer 2

May I politely say that you should have asked this BEFORE you took the cats. People on here would have told you their horror stories of getting a pet dumped on them .
You are a nice person for doing this but the few times in my life that I have done similar things for friends I got stuck with the pet. I think you are sadly headed the same direction....she will probably say that she can't take them back and then say they will have to go to the animal shelter ....you being a nice animal lover probably won't do that so you will end up with these two cats OR be the poor sole that has to put them in the shelter ! Sorry but that's how I got a dog and extra cat .... and how dare she think you would WANT to subject your cat to a declawing operation?
I can't really see a way out that would preserve your friendship... If she cared about her pets in the first place she would NOT have moved into place that did not allow pets ..PERIOD.

Answer 3

Be direct. Be honest. Be firm. Be prepared. Before you speak with your friend, write down all of the reasons that you cannot keep the cats. Make sure you include the fact that this was supposed to be temporary, but is turning out to be permanent. Don't forget that no matter how well pets are behaved, they occassionally make messes, break things, and leave hair and odors. You are going to incur the cost of cleaning the furniture and the carpets. Also, you are responsible for the well-being of all of the cats, not just hers. Keeping your cat separated is not fair, since it is your cat's home, not theirs, so it isn't just a matter of them all getting along. It's also a matter of territory, at least to the cat.

Try not to get emotional about it, because she probably will. She is going to beg for more time. She is going to offer money (possibly). She might cry. Keep going back to the list, instead of responding to emotional outbursts or unreasonable demands. Asking you for more time is unreasonable. If she is your friend, she will see that you have been more than accommodating, and accept your decision with no hard feelings.

Honestly, you can tell her that this is completely out of hand, and is stressing you out. What friend would put another friend through that? The cat's are her responsibility, and she should acknowledge that and act accordingly.

Answer 4

You kinda dug yourself into this one. There are some women who consider their cats as important as children, no exaggeration. Of course, your cat is just a pet - hers are babies.

You offered to take babies and now you have to deal with it, and there's really no good way. She probably considers her cats more important than your friendship. You'll probably lose the friendship if you insist on getting the cats out, which may not be so bad. The alternative is to give in to her demands.

People are given 1 month to find a new home. Give her one month and don't budge. Tell her the stress to YOUR baby is too much and her cats are too demanding. Give her a month to find a new home for her cats, and if need be for her to move to a new apartment. Whatever you do, do not budge on this or she will NEVER take the cats. Let her know no matter what she needs to collect her cats in a month. If she doesn't, dump them on her doorstep or take them to the pound.

Keep in mind that when she takes the cats the friendship is almost definitely over. So if you actually want to remain friends with this selfish person, keep your mouth shut, declaw your cat, and be prepared to give in to all future demands.

Answer 5

The very fact that she wants your cat to be declawed would be the end for me. That is absolute nerve, right there. I would tell her you are sorry, but she now has X amount of time (maybe 2 weeks, a month) to take the cats and/or find another situation that will allow her to keep the cats or you are finding a no-kill shelter and turning the cats over to them. Stand firm. Start researching shelters in your area NOW. I love animals, but this is too stressful for you and your own cat, and it is completely unfair to your cat that now has to be restricted in his own home because of these other 2. Good luck.

Answer 6

Just set a time limit, perhaps two weeks or so is reasonable. A friendship should survive people drawing lines & putting their foot down... probably better than when one person takes advantage of the other as she is doing to you now. Perhaps if she can't take the cats and you don't want them for longer either, there is a third person who can have them?

Whatever you do, don't declaw your cat. It doesn't sound like you were planning on giving in to her, but declawing is horrible. Many countries -including mine- have laws against it as it is animal cruelty.

Answer 7

Go all Darwin on her.
Sure, her cats will get a little beat up, but they need to duke it out to establish dominance. It will take about five minutes.
No, your cat will not be declawed in the unlikely event of How will he survive if something weird happens and he gets out of the house and gets lost?
Believe me, she'll see you in a new light and find another person.

Answer 8

I would say no my cat isn't getting declawed for your cats and secondly this was suppose to be a temporary thing and I can only do this for a few weeks longer so you'll have to find someone else to take care of your cats, this isn't fair for my own cat to have to keep accomodating your cats.

Answer 9

Talk to her and tell her your concerns, then tell her that you can only keep her cat 2 more weeks. If she can't take her cat, then take it to the animal rescue. Two weeks is long enough for her to decide.

Answer 10

Tell her that you are too busy to take care of all those cats and suggest that she needs to find someone else to help out. If she does not understand than she might be using you. She should be grateful for all of your help.