My brother is going to get married soon, I'm afraid things are going to change between us...?

Question

He is a couple of years older than me. We have always been close and can talk about anything. I love him so much and we have a special bond. Even though our hobbies and ideas are really different we are still close. He is going to get married soon and I am scared things will change. I feel upset. We always talk about childhood and we agree on one thing, wouldnt it be great if we could be kids forever. He knows how I feel and he assures me we will still be best buds but I cant help feeling like this. I'm not close with anybody but him. I cant make friends easily and i'm ok with that because I dont want any. Its the way I am. What should I do? I know I'm going to be called selfish bla bla bla.

Answer 1

well my sister is doin the same thing if i were u then whene he dose get married thene set aside some days for just u and him and no one else so that u guys can hang out and talk and if u like his bride to be thene thats grate cuz thene u all can hang out but if u dont like her thene do try to kill her i ashore u it dont work i all ready tried sooo...

Answer 2

I read the entire thing and I would truly not worry about being alone for the rest of your life. You are only 15, that is so young. I can relate though, when I was in high school I didn't date a lot and not very many people were interested in me. And the ones that were interested, were jerks and only after one thing. But now I'm married with 2 kids and my husband is such a great guy. As you get older you and your peers will mature and maybe you'll be able to get to know someone who has a good personality and likes you for who you really are. You should hang out with a variety of people (especially girls) and get to know them, maybe you'll spark an interest with someone. And of course you have to open up to people and teach yourself to trust someone. It won't come overnight, but allow yourself to make a good effort in trusting someone. Based on what you wrote, you sound like a really sweet guy. Stay the way you are, you are really going to make some girl really happy. At this age, I know you've heard it before and probably don't want to hear it again, but you should probably put your focus somewhere else. Focus on school and other activities. When the time comes, the right girl will come your way. And you seem to have a pretty good judge of character, so you'll know if she's right for you. If your gut tells you something isn't right, listen to your gut. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I felt the same way when one of my brothers got married I was 14 though and he was 26, but he was the brother who always let me read to him when i was little and was always there for me. Fortunately his wife and I kind of develop the same kind of relationship, especially when they first got married. I'm 28 now and I have 3 brothers, 2 sisters all are married including myself but our relationships have not changed, we still talk to one another regularly and always there for one another and I guess it helps that we all but one, still live in the same metropolitan area. So I wouldn't worry too much about losing the relationship with your brother he won't be able to spend all his time with you but he'll still be your brother and no one can get between that bond.

Answer 4

Grow up and face the fact that things WILL change. Since you "don't want any" other friends you're going to be left hanging because your brother's loyalties will be with his wife and maybe someday family of his own and he won't always be able to make time for you. Yes you can still remain close but your closeness can not interfere with your brother's marriage and family life. I suggest looking around and finding someone you can create a close realtionship among your peers.

Answer 5

When one has a great family relationship, it is hard to even try to desire relationships outside of that. I have 4 sisters who are my friends and it is so easy with them, I have never felt the need to venture out or really the desire and make friends outside of family. Until I had my daughter. She, being an only child, has many many friends. She is close to them as I am my sisters (she and I are close too and she is with our extended family). She has taught me that friends can let you down sometimes just like family, but it is ok nobody is perfect and things smooth themselves out. I used to feel that if a friend let me down, they could not care or love me like my family. Yet when my sisters would hurt me, I was willing to forgive because they are family. It is hard to trust somebody outside of family, but it can be very rewarding. If one never tries then they never will know.
Your relationship with your brother will not change in the way of love, confiding and the special bond. What may change and has with my sisters, is sometimes the amount of time spent together (though there are always phone calls!) and including and loving and respecting his new spouse. Even if you are not as close to her, if you extend the olive branch it will do wonders in your relationship with your brother. Congratulations and try stepping out of your comfort zone. It took me until I was in my 40's!

Answer 6

Um, just get some books on being with people. Like- 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'.

He will change, hon, it's just the way it is.

Making friends is easy for me *now*. It used to be hard before I read a lot. And imagine that reading is easy.

Answer 7

You will always be family to your brother but his wife is his new family and his priorities will change. He will still love you and talk to you but you probably wont talk with him as much. This is just how life is.

Answer 8

yeah things are going to change as he will no longer be able to slip into to your bed at night when the lights are out.I'm sorry i don't know why i said this i think i need to get off the computer and go outside and do something.you and your brother will be fine remember she is only his wife who may be replaced some day.but you will always be his sister so try and help him enjoy this time as he needs you to.and some day he may have a child and you will have a new friend to spend time with.so you see its all good.

Answer 9

Just because he is getting married doesnt mean he wont have time for you. You have to accept that your brother will be happy, and isnt that what you want for him; to be happy?

Answer 10

him getting married is gonna be a big change, i think things really are going to change. but not enough to cause any problems. he's still your bother if he is married or not. i wouldn't worry about it.