I agree spanking and abuse are completely different, but?

Question

would you call a 'one off' punishment of two strokes of the belt, given by mother in the 1970s abuse?

I wouldn't.

She only used the leather belt once.

Answer 1

I hate to be blunt, but that is so ridiculous.

All my siblings and friends got the belt, brushes, "switches", whatever would hurt enough to make the point, but not harm.

And it was NOT abuse; it WAS loving, firm discipline -- that we desperately needed.

Not one of us one ended up in jail, on drugs, a husband/wife/child abuser, or even divorced. Not even one divorce, drug addiction, or imprisonment among two dozen of my siblings, cousins, and close friends growing up together that got "the belt."

We got the discipline we needed as children, including spankings with the belt.

Discipline, including "the belt", is an act of love, not hostility or abuse - as long as that is the motivation.

Answer 2

I find it hard to believe that a mother goes from no violence to using a belt, punishment would normally escalate in severity to end at it's height with whipping a child with a belt, you posed your question in a way that would get the answer you want, but the reality of the child's situation must have been worse therefore yes it was abuse, sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

Answer 3

No, I don't think a beating with a belt is abuse. When I was little, if you told me not to do anything, I would just do it anyway, if I got a spanking, then I would stop. I had to work with kids for a couple months and I found that the ones that never got spankings were actually the most disrecpectful to me, their peers, and any type of authority they incountered. If you threatened to call their parents, they would laugh at you and tell you they didn't care. But the kids that did get spankings, they calmed down and listened immeaditly. Its not abuse, it just gets the point across better. Most of the kids I worked with that got spanked, only got spanked every once in awhile for serious things, but that one spanking thaught them better.

Answer 4

Yes. The term 'abuse' carries heavy interpretation with it. Mine is quite clear. Whenever, however many times and however many excuses - because they "needed it", because it "works', because they obey me, "it doesn't really hurt because I do it once over clothing" - it is STILL abuse. Physical and spiritual. Does this make your Mom a regular child abuser? No. But she did abuse you that time she lost control and resorted to hitting. When we as adults do that it is considered assault. The same should be true of doing it to children.

There is simply no excuse for it. If it doesn't damage physically, it does so spiritually and psychologically. I've worked with children for nearly 20 years now. I've seen it up close.

Answer 5

No because if we got hit with the belt and I am 24 years old usallual;ly ment a time out and still acted up and a smakc on the hands still acting up. I think i onlty got the belt 2-3 times 3 swacks.

I hate this cant spank becuase its abuse come off it. See thses kids bringing guns to schoolk and things liek that . thats abuse/

Answer 6

Spanking is hitting. Hitting hurts. You can dodge the abuse question as much as you want, but ask youself: what would YOU do if another adult (one you could fight off, unlike a child!) tried to do this to you! It's not only abuse, but in most states, a crime, possibly a felony! I hope anyone who does this to a helpless child, rather than learn how to parent, DOES end up in jail!

Watch out, anyone who disagreed with this poster, since she'll probably report you! She did it to me, in violation of my First Amendment Rights!

Hey, if you can't take other opinions...DON'T POST ON A FREE FORUM!!!

Answer 7

NO
I wouldn't call weekly spankings as you described "abuse" I hate how people throw that word around. I wouldn't spank my children with a belt, but I also won't villianize those who do. If your leaving permanent marks like bruises, welts, blisters,.... other then a temporary red bottom it's abuse. I am sure if you mom marked up your bottom with 2 very hard strokes once in your life, your not suffering from it. You can spank with a belt, as long as your not leaving marks.

Answer 8

The way I see it, as a teenager many of my friends and I had that "one good spanking" where it knocked some sense in to us, causing us to be more cautious of our actions, however that was never the last of our spankings.

When I got spanked it was usually with a belt or the hand. However, I have heard many other cases where the parents used cords, switches, house slippers, flip-flops, paddles and a lot more.

No, I don't think so. There is a differance between a spanking, a tap on the bottom in admonishment and beating.

A spanking is enough to hurt, and get the point across, and JUST that nothing more nothing less, to help the child understand that what they did was wrong.

A tap on the bottom with the hand is more of a warning, as in "do it again and you will definatly get a spanking"

Beating, can often cause physical harm to the child regarding in scars, cuts, bruises, broken bones, emotional, mental, and other physical trauma. You also have to consider what society was like in the '70s. Then it may have been acceptable to spank your children, however now, becasuse of so many things going wrong, spankings are taken with the utmost caution because so many that claim to be "spanking" are actually beating their children. I think as long as it hasn't caused any physical, emotional or phsycotic damage then it is fine.

Answer 9

I am the youngest of 4 kids and my dad used his belt once on me. We usually just got a pop on the butt. We were far from being abused. My son gets a pop on the butt only if he is doing something dangerous or a tap on the hand. For other things he gets a time-out.

Answer 10

No. My Dad used the belt a lot while we were growing up. We never heard of child abuse or reporting our parent for punishing us for misbehaving.
Our teachers knew that they had the support of our parents. The teachers weren't responsible for our upbringing.
We learned that we had to take responsibility for our own actions.