Man's duty?

Question

My girlfriend seems to think that I should be spending a great portion of my wages on her and thinks that, when we're together, I should pay for everything. If we go into a shop, whatever it is she wants, whether a new skirt, top, make-up, or just something to eat, she sees it as the 'man's duty' to pay. It's the same if we go to the cinema or for a meal. She never seems to put her hand in her own pocket. She expects me to pay for everything.
Do you think it's the 'man's duty' to pay for everything?

I do actually refuse to buy clothing - that's definately her own cost - but she always tries to get me to pay for it. As for dinners and cinema trips, she does seem to get uptight if I suggest she should pay...

Answer 1

No, it is not the man's duty. Does she have a job? Pay rent? Do you make a lot more money than her? When I'm out with a girls i try to pay if I can because there is something old fashioned, gentlemanly, and romantic about it, but you should not be obligated to pay for all her fun all the time. Next time you're out playfully tell her that it's her turn to buy dinner or that it her womanly duty and see what she does. If she gets all pissed off and refuses, dump her. That kind of selfishness means that she takes you for granted and only cares about her own materialistic needs.

Answer 2

Nah, not these days! When I first went out with my now husband many years ago, my mum told me that if he's a gent he'll pay when you go out...and he did! It was more the done thing then. But I certainly wouldn't have dreamt of asking him to buy me anything else!!

Today, it should be equal.

Put it this way, if I were dating now, there's no way I'd pay for everything and have a guy sponging off me...that's what it is
really.

I don't know how old you are, but if you are over 50 perhaps I could understand her wanting you to pay for drinks....maybe... but nothing else.

How long have you been going out with her? Be clear at the start though be tactful. When she asks for clothes etc. just say you can't afford it.

Good luck!

Answer 3

In the past, paying for movies and meals out has traditionally been a "man's duty", but times have changed and more women, especially those who have a well-paying position, have become more liberal with bearing the cost of dates.
As far as buying the clothes, make-up, etc., when and if a gentleman decides to do that it is called a gift. She should not "expect" you to take care of all her wants and needs. Tell her to get out her own wallet.

Answer 4

Tricky one this: gonna open a big can of worms!!!

Anyway, to be honest in todays equal society I think teh majority of women prefer to pay their share but if you are living together as a couple then its down to you how the bills are divided etc.

I would get mightliy peed off if she never paid for anything but then thats just me. you could always go for the test of nerve by going for a meal and when it comes to the bill paying bit just sit there as if to say that you were not paying and watch her squirm until she gets the hint: if that doesnt work maybe have a chat with her and if she throws a wobbly at either stage she is only wanting your money and not you so bin her

Answer 5

Absolutely not!! While it is ok to treat her occassionally, it is not your responsibility to take care of her as if she is your child. A girlfriend of mine and I would take turns buying dinners or paying for movies. She should pay for her OWN clothes. It sounds to me like she is using you as a meal ticket. If it is a point of contention, and your relationship hinges on it.... send her a s s down the road. A woman should appreciate you for what you provide to the relationship in ways other than just monitarily. If she doesn't, find someone who does appreciate you and kick her selfish a s s to the curb. You need to have some self respect and not let her walk all over you.

Answer 6

in my wedding ceremony the terrific guy got here to the prepare consultation and the dinner held for the bride and groom the night until eventually now the marriage, he makes specific the adult adult males get their tuxes, he palms out the presents to the adult adult males in the marriage that the groom provides to him, he's almost a runner (like get beverages for the family contributors or pull the family contributors together for photos) and does something the bride or groom tells him to do, he held onto the rings and presented them to the groom on the marriage ceremony, employed the limo and embellished it, exceeded the minister the envelope (with examine enclosed), watched the money container from the presents from the travellers, each and every so often the terrific guy holds the bachelor social gathering and makes specific the groom is in sturdy shape for the marriage. If there's a catalogue then this isn't any longer gospel as you may exchange it around and make it what you like. only confirm the terrific guy knows his place and complies.

Answer 7

No I dont believe so. Some women are just like that though. They expect the guy their seeing should and will pay for everything. Its not something you can just talk to her about, because I'm sure she'll just get all offended. Maybe next time before y'all go out, tell her you dont have the money to go anywhere and see what she says. She might just be with you only for your money, so be careful.

Answer 8

Certainly not. Where on earth did she get that idea?

You might like to ask herabout her attitude to other things, like for example women in the workplace and the glass ceiling, single mothers as opposed to single parents, issues that have to do with equality generally. If she's all gung ho about equality in these issues, it's a bit of a double standard thing to expect you to have to pay for everything. Fifty-fifty is generally acceptable.

Answer 9

So you go to work to pay for her luxury lifestyle, while you have nothing left and she still has a nice bank balance. Firstly, don't go shopping with women, its boring and not manly. Lay down the law with and tell her if she wants a walking wallet shes with he wrong guy or better still ditch the parasite.

Answer 10

no way sounds as if she is just looking for someone to sponge of tell her you should either pay your own way or do without why would she think you should be paying for her clothes let alone meals and cinema you must be worse than her if you do it.