7 reasons not to mess with children.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
2007-01-28 05:51:28 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
those are awsome and clean and so funnnnnnnnnnny thank you so much for the smiles and laughs God bless you.
I got kids and grandkids and the things they can come up with..................
2007-02-05 02:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by tennessee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blessings. Children are a blessing and a precious gift, they are so innocent and have a truthful heart. this sounds like a great page taking out of a poetry-Book. Kids are so sincere , have so much faith, and have a mind of they own, and are not afraid to speak it. Thanks for sharing.. Here is one for our enjoyment. Children's Funny Ideas About Angels Item sent to Will and Guy by Kelvin Bowler a Primary Schoolteacher and old teaching friend. When it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. Sara,6 Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. Mitchell, 7 Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the kid get over it. Vicki, 8 I hear funny angels all the time in my dreams. And I'm sticking with that no matter how many people tell me I'm crazy. Molly, 8 My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. Henry, 8 Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. Jared , 8 All angels are girls because they've got to wear dresses and boys don't go for it. Antonia, 9 Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why but scientists are working on it. Olive, 9 Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The basic message is where you went wrong before you got dead. Daniel, 9 It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. Matthew, 9 My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. Katelyn, 9 When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado ........................................... Peace out.
2016-03-29 06:33:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are hilarious. My favourite is the one with the little girl drawing a picture of God.
2007-01-28 06:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by Alannah! 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
VERY GOOD. We can expect answers like these only from the hearts and minds of children
2007-02-04 08:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Mel R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where do you people find your jokes they are all hilarious so the deserve a 20 out of 10
2007-02-05 02:19:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was sure worth the reading, especially though shall not kill! rof lmao! I gave you a great big star!
2007-02-02 10:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Penguiin♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I loved them... i have heard a lot of jokes and riddles, but not these. I loved them all but the first one was my favorite one.
2007-02-04 23:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by kevferg64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg those are so funnie!!!! =0 i liked the one about the photographed children
2007-02-04 08:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn-Kerr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God! These are so cute and so funny! I love them! Good job....awsome jokes~
2007-01-28 06:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by (^_^) 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've heard one or two of them before, but those are hilarious!! Love it :)
2007-02-04 08:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by ..rae..♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋