How do I deal with what my mother did?

Question

My mom took my kids to church since I am on bed rest with my newest one and she calls and says that there was a church meeting she wanted to stay for and my son was run over by a car !!! She then yells at me to calm down and says that he is "just bruised"??? Can I ever trust her with my kids again?? What do I do?? HELP please.

Answer 1

Right! OK, I can fully understand where you're coming from....good your little boy has only a few bruises from this but it sure as hell must have scared the life out of him....Your Mother is acting the way she is because she knows damn well she's been out of order & feels guilty as hell..not the right way for her to deal with it & not a way to build your future trust in her either.
I guess all the worst senarios went through your head when you heard about what happened & I'd have gone through the same as well...I'd be bloody angry to think I'd left my child in my Mother's care & he goes & gets run over by a car...or should I say "knocked down"
Thankfully it was nothing worse but I have to be honest....if it were me I wouldn't trust my children with her after this....first of all because of her attitude & secondly because she's shown she's acting irresponsibly.
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As for the future! well I'd wait until I felt my children were able to be left alone where the fear of getting knocked down were in the past...which means when they themselves were responsible enough to keep away from the road...like older teenagers......not because it's your Mother's fault...although quite honestly that's open to debate....but because mostly her attitude stinks basically & until she can be woman enough to handle a situation like this a lot better than the way she has...then in my books she wouldn't be woman enough to care for my children properly, if I trust my kids to someone else then I expect them to live up to the responsibility they've been given...if they can't live up to the job then they should say "NO"

I often have my Grandchildren out with me & if something were to happen to one of them while in my care I'd never forgive myself....I always say that if one of them died while I was supposed to be taking care of them that would be the end of my life...because I could never look my children in the face again knowing their child had died while in my care...especially if I'd not watched them properly....I know my life would come to an end....I honestly believe I would take my own life.....it's because of such an extreme view that NEVER while in my care would any harm come to any of them...not even getting knocked down by a car where they may sustain a "few bruises"....until your Mother has an equal view she's not fit enough to look after your children again....God! this isn't a record collection we're talking of here...it's your children, they can't be replaced....she needs to understand the value of life a bit more I think...& she needs to value your feelings too.
I know this sounds strange, but I could cope better if the child were mine but with it being my childs child...no way...how on earth could I ever look my child in the eye & say I were acting irresponsibly & they no longer have their babies in their life?

Answer 2

no you can't. for her to call you up and say she wanted to stay for a church meeting and your son was ran over by a car and then yells at you for being upset is the definition of the lowest and most inconsiderate thing for her to do in my book. something is definitely strange about this situation. if your son was hurt then she should have told you she was on the way to the hospital not that she was going to stay for a church meeting. that behavior completely leaves me speechless and i would have a very hard time trusting her anymore especially with my kids. find someone else to take care fo them. i know there is not a lot that you can do since you are bed ridden. by the way congratulations on your next child. just do what you think is best for you and your children. try not to stay upset all the time though as this is unhealthy for you unborn child. from now on i would think twice or maybe three times on letting her watch them again. what a immoral and inhumane thing to do. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 3

I think you should be thankful that you have a loving mother who is willing to take care of your children. If you can´t trust your mother, who can you trust with your children?

Did you think for a moment how devestating your mother was when this happened? After all, its is her grand child too. Can you hurt your mothers feelings and blame her for something that may not been controllable? I think its great that your mother is taking your kids to church with her. Getting religious education at early age also helps them when they get older. I hope that you will be loving and caring towards your mother and let her know that you appreciate her.

Just think if the role was reversed. If you were to have been watching your daughters children and same thing happened to you, how would you want your daughter to react to you? I am sure first reactions would be very harsh and shocking but since the boy is safe, then why hurt each others feelings? You need each other and try to be understanding because mothers always give their unconditional love to their children.

Don´t shut your mother out. Let her know how you felt for that moment but that she is still your mother and that you love her.

Take care and be open to your mom

Answer 4

Way too few details here to give a coherent answer.

It appears that you're upset because she left your child unattended and he got hit by a car. It depends on his age, and the circumstance.

If he is older, he could be trusted to hang around with the other parishioners for a few minutes. Even if he's younger, maybe she left him in the care of another adult.

If she just abandoned a small child to the parking lot, of course there's a problem. But you need more answers before you do something drastic.

If, in the end, you're sure she handled your children unsafely, you cannot let her take them away alone again.

Answer 5

Well...first of all, you never let children out of your sight! When there are a lot of people around and you are close to traffic you must hold their hands! That is first rule of parenthood and grandparent hood! Apparently perhaps her socializing was more important than her responsibility to the child. Shame on her. Thank goodness he is only bruised. No...you cant trust her again with your child...I would never take that chance. If she didnt have enough responsibility to allow this to happen this time...she wont again. Just the fact that she told you so matter of fact would tell me this was the last time. I wouldnt go into detail with her about not being able to be alone with him anymore...but the next time she asks...just say you prefer you go along from now on and leave it at that.

Answer 6

I DO NOT BELEVE THIS. IT LOOKS LIKE SPAM TO ME. THINK ABOUT IT, WOULD ANY ONE REALLY SAY "THAT THEY WANTED TO STAY FOR A CHURCH MEETING" IF THEIR GRANDSON GOT HIT BY A CAR? NO!

Answer 7

then l wouldn`t leave your children in her care again after that. as a mother she should of known better

Answer 8

accidents happen it could have happen when he was with you or in school. It isn't like she did it on purpose

Answer 9

well she's your mom, you're gonna have to trust her sooner or later... maybe you should try later...