I met this girl about a year ago now on a bus. At the time I was enjoying single life with many "friends" but we went out and I settled down. The first month or so was great and I felt so much for her but recently (nearly 1 year later) things have cooled and I can't even say for sure I still love her. When I'm out I notice other women and think "what could be?" I also don't relate love songs or anyting to my girl more to some mysterious future girl.
Thing is, I did arrange to meet another girl and couldn't go through with it. And my girlfriend is a really good partner...I enjoy spending time with her...
Things are made more complex now because we live together
Am I being a perfectionist? Looking for that perfect girl who will never come? Have I hit the working part of the relationship after the honeymoon period? Is it because we live together?
2007-01-28 05:17:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry to tell you this but your the only one who can know this
2007-01-28 05:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm..not an easy answer. It could be something to worry bout, and at the same time, it could not be something to worry bout. Well, we all kinda hit a plateau in relationships I think, when we get comfortable with a person. That's just a sign of comfort. But because I also believe that love is also a choice (not just something that *happens* to us) and keeping a relationship alive also takes effort, maybe this might be a situation needing just that. I would say don't give up on it just yet. Make an effort to learn new things together, to have those romantic getaways that u probably had earlier, make time to connect with her, and to see the inner beauty u saw in the earlier days. When we get so used to someone, we kind of start taking them for granted. Don't let that happen. Appreciate things, and don't let it go stale. It will only drift u both apart. Also, give each other some space so u both get a chance to miss each other. Are u both always together? Do u both hv separate interests and separate friends?
Try different things...and if u still feel like the way u r feeling now, then it might be time to think bout where it's going. U have to understand though, that all relations go thru very normal stages of such changes. I don't believe things are ever exactly the same as they were before. Part of being in a normal, healthy relationship is changing and growing together.
I would also suggest that you visit the iVillage message boards and visit the love and relationship secton and post this there. I have found an amazing regular bunch of people there who give wonderful insights.
2007-01-28 13:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've just lost that specialness of your relationship. You need to communicate and put aside some real time for one another. Trust me from personal experience, when you don't talk about this loss of passion, etc... it all goes down the pooper real quick. Which isn't always a bad thing, if they aren't the one. But this is what you need to figure out. Why are you not happy with this one, is it because you have become to comfortable, living together and forgot that you're not just roommates but lovers too... communicate and work it out, or communicate and you'll both find out if you're really in love, or just passing the time.
2007-01-28 13:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say people always think the grass is greener on the other side!!! and it's not you have to ask yourself would you really want to be single again? and you will know if she is the one for you just write the good things and the bad things about her on a bit of paper or reasons to stay and resons to split and if one outweighs the other then there is your answer!!! but i do think you've got a case of being a perfectionist when you live with someone it certainly opens your eyes don't it ha ha x
2007-01-28 13:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by hayley d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm of the opinion that when it's right, you'll know. And yes, you probably out of that honeymoon stage and adjusting to it. But, if you're constantly thinking of other girls, and dreaming of "some future girl", I believe you've already answered your own question. No one is perfect, but some girl is perfect for you :)
2007-01-28 13:25:04 · answer #5 · answered by justpeachee22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should never move in with anyone for at least 2 years... it clouds your judgement. maybe you need to sit down and really think about what it is that you love in her. maybe thinking about this for a while will bring back some feelings. whenever i get mad and think that i dont want to be w/my bf anymore, i lay down and remember the times when we first met, and all the times we've had through the years, and do i really want to go back to being single. and i always decide that i love him and coming home to him at night is better then going to random guys houses.
2007-01-28 13:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by amana5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U just feel overwhelmed right now, smothered. Just try to get some breathing room from her/Ur Girl, and see what happens.
2007-01-28 13:23:23 · answer #7 · answered by G-BOY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just know what you want!
2007-01-28 13:35:21 · answer #8 · answered by Hammer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋