I am a 24 year old single dad and I find it hard to do some things with my 18 month old daughter with me all the time so it makes things difficult. I was just dumped by this girl that said i have issuses and i need help...i told her i dont think so...heres whats going on because its hard to do things sometimes and i just find it easier i take a shower with my daughter and she sleeps next to me at night come on i have a king size bed to myself lots of room. i know there is a age limit to how long i can keep taking a shower with her. was my Ex GF right or is it ok to do this i have no idea so thats why i am asking PLEASE HELP!!!!!
2007-01-28 05:14:15 · 21 answers · asked by rob9029 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
It doesn't look look right for you to do it. She is a girl and you are a boy and form the outside it just looks inappropriate. I know that it most likely isn't but looking is it seems stupid. She needs her own bed and her own bath time. You have to make the time for these things.Yes it easier for you to do this but no on said it would be easy to have a child.
2007-01-28 05:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mary C 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If that maes you and people around you feel better, wear underwear in the shower and bath, and put a bed for her on the floor next to you bed, even if it's a crib or toddler bed. Downsize to a queen bed if room is an issue, or get a bunk bed with a full bed at the bottom, and build some high (at least 24") siderails on the top bunk.
Personally, I thonk it's ok to shower with your daughter at that age, but a lot of people wouldn't think so. And as for the co-sleeping, the only thing that makes me think is that men often wake up with an erection, which could eventually create a weird situation.
2007-01-28 09:50:55 · answer #2 · answered by Delphine F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I am a single mother of two boys ages 3 and 5, every time my 3 year old hears the shower water running, he's in the bathroom talking about I want to shower. If she doesn't shower with you, you still have to give her bath right, is that wrong? I would say until she is old enough to point out and or ask the about the differences, who cares. So she sleeps in your bed, do you feel safe? Does she feel safe. Both of my boys sleep in my room sometimes and sometimes they don't. What is she supposed to do when she gets older and has bad dream. Lay in her bed and cry because your a guy instead of girl. As long as you aren't doing anything inappropriate, I say who cares, you are her father and you care for her well being right? Right! And now you know and that is half the battle! : )
2007-01-28 05:43:26 · answer #3 · answered by Juicy Fruit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think her issue was the fact you weren't devoted only to her and took the responsibility of raising an 18 month old daughter by yourself. Hurray for you! However showers for children at a young age can sometimes become a stressful thing as water is constantly falling in their face making it feel as though they can't breathe. Try giving her a warm bath before bedtime it helps soothe and calm her nerves, as well as playing out a lot of her energy before bed. How do you not worry about rolling over on top of her or her not falling out of bed? As a mother that would have been two of my biggest worries. Why not try putting her in a crib in your room, than you both have the security of knowing you're both in the same room, and then eventually putting her into her own room. Good Luck and remember every year is a challenge, but every year is worth it.
2007-01-28 05:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by amc_065 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, parenting is hard, and if you haven't noticed by now, there are a lot of things in your daily schedule that you have to change for your baby's sake. As for the shower thing, why don't you bathe her in the bathtub by herself? If you are unsure how to do it, don't fill up the water too high, about an inch or two, prop her back up against the tub, let her play and bathe for 5 minutes, and take her out. But my thing is if your ex dumped you because you're letting your daughter taking a shower with you that means there are some more underlying issues you don't want to talk about, or it could be just that. Another thing is too is you can't have your water at the same temp like you're taking a shower because it could scold her skin and she can get burned, and you don't want her to be slipping and falling in the tub... She needs to be sitting down in the bathtub. Do you not have any female relatives that you can go to help you with your baby? Women are more apt to help a man with a baby than vice versa so this is not the time to be proud. Besides, you're eventually are gonna need a break, and some guidance on how to raise and take care of your baby girl. But no, no more showers with baby anymore please.
2007-01-28 05:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel-I do. I can't imagine being a single parent, it's hard enough having a partner help me with my one child-I cannot fathom trying to do it alone, so I commend you. Especially, you earn my respect because many men in your position would dump the child off on his parents. You are a good man-it's your girlfriend's loss-not yours.
You know your daughter better than anyone else. If you are fine with your daughter sleeping in your bed-then it's fine. If you are fine showering with her, fine. I wouldn't be comfortable with my husband showering with my daughter, but that's just because he has gas ALL THE TIME!
Bottom line-there will come a time when you won't be able to shower with her, and that time is coming soon. But for now, you are her father and as long as you aren't "doing" anything, then hey-tell the girlfriend that you are teaching your daughter to conserve water. (It's none of the gf's business anyway)
2007-01-28 06:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by kelly24592 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know lots of people have said this, but I thought you could use all the support you could get. It doesn't sound to me like you are doing anything wrong at this point. Yes, she'll have to stop showering with you and sleeping with you eventually; that's common sense. But I can definitely see how it would be hard to take a break to shower by yourself if there's no one to watch over your daughter while you're doing it. It sucks when outsiders make you feel like a bad parent when you don't think you've been doing anything wrong.
Sometimes we all have trouble seeing the forest for the trees; were cavechildren routinely emotionally and/or physically scarred by their parents' nudity and cosleeping? Doubtful. Were cavepeople less noble than we are? Maybe, but you make do with what you've got. I think you're probably doing fine.
2007-01-28 12:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by serenity_ii 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with co-sleeping at all. As far as the showering goes, different people have differing opinions and you'll have to find your own balance,. 18 months is definitely not too old to be sharing a shower. Some say the rule of thumb is when the kid is old enough to be able to tell complete strangers the private details of the household.
Good for you for being such a great dad.
2007-01-28 05:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by sempurvivum 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like she is the one with issues and knows nothing about raising a child. Your 18 month old is still a baby and showering with her is perfectly natural and normal. So is co-sleeping. Millions of fathers (and mothers) co-sleep every night - it can be very beneficial. Anyone (like your ex-gf) who has creepy thoughts about it obviously has there own personal unresolved issues that have nothing to do with you and your child. She needs some help. Trust your instincts.. you are the parent. All the best!
2007-01-28 05:39:27 · answer #9 · answered by junenorth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey i say good on you for being such a caring dad! there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a shower together, and i have always showered with my boys till they were about 5, my only concern is when you meet a new girl friend and eventually she sleeps over your little one will feel very left out and rejected when you move her for the new girl to sleep in your bed. Maybe put her bed in your room till she is a little older and make a special night every week where she can sleep in your bed, that way their will be no hurt feelings for her when you meet someone new. good luck and good on you, its not easy sometimes but it is very rewarding. :)
2007-01-28 09:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always read that you should end cross-gender nudity by the time the child is 24 months old. She would probably really enjoy taking a her own bath though (with your help of course), most kids do.
As far as the sleeping thing goes, co-sleeping is a really popular option for most parents these days. As long as you are both comfortable with that arrangement I would say that is fine.
(It does make it hard to bring home guests however!)
2007-01-28 05:23:37 · answer #11 · answered by hilz 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋