I have got to know this girl real well at college. We hung out a lot first semester and we both told each other that we liked each other. We kissed a few times and made out once for a while. She seemed to be enjoying it because she thanked me for coming over. She told me that I was the kind of guy that she wanted to meet in college. Over our winter break we called each other and hung for a day at a waterpark which was fun. Now after the first week back to college she tells me that she is not sure what she wants and tells me that she would rather have me as a friend then not have me as anything at all. I DO NOT want to fall into the friends zone because there is no getting out of that. Please give me some useful knowledge that I can apply to this situation. I would like to hear what some girls think about this. Thanks.
2007-01-28 04:04:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her what changed her mind. It may be nothing you can do anything about, but then again, it may. If not with this girl, at least with the next one.
Good luck.
2007-01-28 04:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remain a friend and pleasantly move on to other interests. You can't make her like you "as more than a friend" if that is where her emotions have stopped. Telling you she doesn't know what she wants, may be an attempt to not hurt your feelings. On the other hand, perhaps she is subconsciously afraid of being this fond of someone. Either way, you are not in control of whether you grow closer or not. Friendships are valuable and there is no reason to dismiss this one simply because it has not developed into a closer relationship. Just move on. If she follows, as friend or otherwise, great. While moving on, realize you are attractive and wanted, but even so, not every relationship you become interested in will actualize.
2007-01-28 12:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well im a girl and i know that when a girl says "i rather keep you as a friend" it could mean one of two things...i really want you as a friend or we should be friends for now and maybe in the future we could consider being more than just friends. Either way dont push it...if a girl says something she usually means it..if she really wanted to be with you at the moment she wouldnt have brought up the whole "keep you as a friend thing"..just be a friend to her and while doing so prove to her all the GOOD qualities that you have and make you different from all the others..theres a fifty fifty chance of her starting to consider you as more than a friend material again. If you continue to try to approach a relationship when she allready told you that its not what shes looking for..you could scare her away completely and you dont want that..YEAH I KNOW US GIRLS ARE WEIRD LOL
2007-01-28 12:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by norma50_pro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I want to commend this young woman for telling you straight up that she doesn't know what she wants. That takes a lot of guts and really shows she respects you! Being just her friend while she figures out what she wants is fine, BUT do not allow her to throw the "friends with benefits" on you. You could in turn become her side boy to kiss and makeout with. Give her the space she needs to find out what she wants. You cannot force her into a relationship with you because you could really scare her away. Good Luck!
2007-01-28 12:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it may now be about that scary thing, "space". In words that are true and comfortable for you, tell her you wouldn't be satisfied as 'just friends' (because you DO know how you feel, and it ain't just platonic), and you're giving her some time to more deeply consider her feelings. After a little time (during which you'll maybe be seen with another 'just a friend' female) check in with her again. Remember not to withdraw and mope over the situation, but be active in your interests and activities.
Best wishes for your happiness.
2007-01-28 12:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Tell her you want to be more than just a friend and that if she is unsure you'll give her some space to figure it out. She may have met someone else during the break or perhaps she doesn't want to be committed at this time. You need to find out and if she isn't ready for the next level and you are not ready to just be her friend then you need to break it off.
2007-01-28 12:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by notaxpert 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is unsure of the relationship and wants some time and space to figure it out. It may turn out that the best you can hope for is friendship. Give her the space and hope for the best, but don't expect her to fall in love by a sudden impulsive gesture.
Stay friends if you can, but be prepared to move on if you can't.
2007-01-28 12:38:56 · answer #7 · answered by Old guy 124 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is just not that into you. Take what she says for face value. She enjoyed leading you on, and now she has decided that having a relationship is not what she wants from you.
Start dating other women. Like most confused, insecure women she might come running back when she sees you with someone else. By then you should be strong enough to reject her.
2007-01-28 12:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by anosey1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have a few reasons why i've told guys I want to be friends. Either she found someone knew ( ask her or she will string you along), she really is scared of losing you (tell her you will NEVER stop being her friend), and really that's about it. Have a serious talk with her.
2007-01-28 12:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by chels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she say she wants to be your friends then too bad for you. She means it. Maybe she's just using you as a toy. So just move on. There're other girls out there who are much better than her. Othewise, you can do what you like and make your own decision.
2007-01-28 12:08:32 · answer #10 · answered by soda_popz85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋