I'm a 16 year old girl and currently stuck with a dilemma. I used to live in a small town when i was little and then moved to a larger city, but this year I moved back to the small town. There is this guy who I shared the puppy love of younger years with, and we became good friends. He goes out and goes partying, sometimes illegally. He wants me to go with, but he knows and respects that I will not partake in anything illegal. Our school only can punish you for being at an illegal party if you either distributed it, or were in possesion of it. So i'm pretty safe. I really want to go, and I know that he would never make me do anything I didn't want to do, but something about the whole situation feels kinda weird. What should I do?
2007-01-28 03:52:52 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound like you have your head on straight... you know what the answer is... This guy likes and respects you because you have a higher moral standard than the "local" girls... It's what makes you stand out... retain your principles... otherwise you become "just like the rest of them"
So stick to your standards... it should be up to him to raise his to meet yours rather than for you to lower yours to meet his... a solid relationship should bring out the best in both... not cause one or the other to sacrifice a personal value to remain friends.
The most difficult situations in our lives are to meet our own expecations... good for you for sticking to yours
2007-01-28 04:05:18 · answer #1 · answered by alex b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your instinct is right. Listen to the little voice that tells you something feels weird. As we get older we need to stay in tune with out intuition and gut feelings. Sometimes peer pressure can make us want to ignore that inner voice, but I will tell you right now, it's the inner voice that will save you all your life. Some people call it their conscience, some people call it their angels and some people call it intuition. Whatever you call it, don't shut it out. You sound like a smart girl with pride and standards. Those are prized virtues and will serve you well all your life. The party animals are a dime a dozen, but young adults who think responsibly will end up as adults who are successful. The party animals will be the adult losers. Stay above the norm and expect bettre things for yourself and it will come to you. I promise.
I live in a beautiful home, and have a gorgous and successful husband, but the party girls i used to know, are now adults with not a lot to be proud of. It's better to have a bright future than a few "busy" weekends. You don't have to stop being friends with people you like just because you're not doing what they're doing. It sounds like he's a good enough friend to accept and respect you for the responsible girl that you are. Keep your friend, but you can share his friendship over dinners and ice cream runs too. He may have a side to him that will want something better for himself and you may be his positive peer pressure. We all need good peer pressure and who better to be that than you?
2007-01-28 04:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by TJTB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My goodness ... peer pressure can be tough -- for the older and younger generations. It is my belief that whatever you do between the ages of 16 and 24 determines the cycle of your life. If it were me, I wouldn't change for a guy simply because you have no idea whether or not it will be worth it in the end.
But hey, I'm someone who likes to think of the present and future instead of just living in the moment.
2007-01-28 04:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by rosie768 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually had a conversation with a guy friend about it, and he told me straight out that he did NOT want to date a girl who partied and drank all the time. I know a few other guy friends share the same sentiment. I'm not saying to completely abstain from parties, but you really have to be on your toes about things. Just don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, despite peer pressure, and you should be okay. I'd be sure to talk to your guy friend and make sure he knows your limits and feelings.
2007-01-28 04:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by aoiazul05 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your inner voice tells you "the whole situation feels kinda weird" then listen to it. If you notice in your question you have already planned what could happen to you if caught by the school. You're only 16, there'll be enough time for partying when you get to college.
2007-01-28 03:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by jaypea40 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why invite the suspicion and the accusations and the possible punishments??? You are judged by the company you keep. You may actually be innocent, but others may not believe so, .......just because you were at the party.
2007-01-28 03:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you feel any sort of second thoughts about going you shouldnt! That is your intuition - we women are lucky to have it! And you are right - never ever ever compromise yourself or your values for a guy!!! Always remember that mantra as you go through life.
2007-01-28 03:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by rachie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not good boyfriend material. Stick to your high standards and morals. If this guy really cares about you, he'll give up his partying ways and change for you. Why should you have to sacrifice your morals and standards for him?
2007-01-28 03:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by Joe Prosnick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable with the charade, drop the fellow. Discomfort today will develop into hatred in the future.
2007-01-28 04:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you don't want to. So don't. At 16, you have a lot of time coming up to party...
2007-01-28 03:57:21 · answer #10 · answered by shaun_empire 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋