I recently joined a clothing company doing merchandising for them unfortunately I am fallen for a man who is technically my boss's boss. He was the one who even specifically hired me for the job - which I am extremely grateful for. But I find myself thinking constantly about him. He is a very sweet person and single but at the same time he is 15 years older than me, and above all it is completely unprofessional for me to say anything. I do not want to jeopardise my job also as I enjoy my work and get along with alot of people within the company.
How can I get my heart in line with my head?!?
2007-01-28 02:32:59 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to add some details:
He is single and doesn't have any kids
The company we work for is quite small so we don't have any policies regarding relationships and therefore I've seen quite a few people get married with people they've met within the company. Perhaps they have more solid grounds and are happy to go off and get married but I can't say I'm ready for such things being 21 years old myself - I do however crave the beginnings of that stability marriage provides.
2007-01-28 02:50:52 · update #1
Don't act on what your heart tells you, listen to your reason/brain and be patient. There's no telling what the future holds for you but be cool for now. Hang onto your job, self respect, and peace of mind.
2007-01-28 02:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best choice would be to think bout someone else, maybe find a new guy at the disco, or on a singles chat line like 'livelinks phone chat line' and meet someone interesting in your local area and then you'll have a new guy to think about, come on we all know if you work professionally, you can't add love into the work place, unless he makes the first move. Just don't do it you might get fired, and you might not... but do you really want to take the risk? IF he's a professional and sophisticated man he will make a wise choice, because when you're at work you shouldn't be thinking about that, you should be thinking about work! If you want to just not think of him do what I said earlier and meet someone else you can start to think about, rather than your boss, who is probably a very busy man.
2007-01-28 02:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love simply put is a process. Besides the fact that he is your boss you need to consider your options. You can go ahead and tray and date him anyway and possibly mess up your career. You could not do anything and let it eat you up inside. Or go for the 3rd option. Weigh your wants with your needs. If you find that you cannot accomplish both at the same time, then you need to decide what is more important to you; Love or career. I would like to say its a simple thing, but attraction is attraction. If you really want to fall out of love with this person, then go ahead and ask your coworkers for dirt on him. Find out the worst thing he has ever done and then maybe you might change your mind about him.
2007-01-28 02:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by "the Otter" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships on the job is not a very good idea in the first place. If you two were dating and an argument came up, it becomes difficult to keep it out of the workplace. Don't feel obligated because he specifically hired you, maybe your boss doesn't have the authority to make that decision. Most corporate policies state that management can not be involved with other employees and remember there is such a thing as "Reverse Sexual Harassment." focus on your job to keep him out of your head.
2007-01-28 02:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The very end of your question is the answer.!!
Get your head transplanted.The 15 years mean little now but will become an obstacle.And I notice that you do not say if he has feelings for you. A golden rule and should never be broken , is ,never get involved with people that you work with.!!
Take up a sport and throw your energy into this.You will meet new people.My granny said ."there are many more fish in the sea,and men are like buses,there will be another one along in a few minutes.
2007-01-28 02:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by robert w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one, having a relationship with a co-worker is not a good idea and especially if that one is over you. For another someone much older than you brings up long term questions, are you really looking for someone that old? and if so what will that relationship be in 20yrs? You not only may loose your job but also your heart and then find out much later that you've missed out on another that might just be right for you...
2007-01-28 02:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st you should be patient, let him make the 1st move, if he is comfrontable with that then i might be okay, but you have to make sure that you don't come on to him. Do some little innocent flirts and smiles and see if he notices you any more.. As for the age you can't really control that, its really hard!! Make sure you don't tell anyone in the office about your feelings either because that will just cause more problems!! Good luck
2007-01-28 05:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to tell him ur feelings maybe he thinks the same way but if ur so afraid to do that .. that he may fire u wait for him to say 1st if he didn' say nothing then forget abt the whole thing!! good luck dear!!
2007-01-28 02:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is all you need. If it's a brief attraction, it will fade. If you are terminal, then you'll need to determine if he likes you as well. By that time, you won't need any advice.
2007-01-28 02:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he married? does he have children? these are a few questions you need to ask yourself...its important that you realize its not practical, he is your boss....if he is married its even worse, its human nature to be attracted but you need to ethier find a new job or get your head in line...focus on your WORK rather than the people in it.
2007-01-28 02:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by Ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋