how does the army affect family life?

Question

my boyfriend is considering going into the army, and i want to know how this could affect our family life. I really dont know anything about the army so i dont know how all that stuff works but if anybody who is could please tell me how being in the army and having a family works out please let me know!!thankx...

Answer 1

There have been a lot of negative comments, but there are some good sides as well. Consider these points, as well.

==The pay is good, if you stick with it and he does well.

==The benefits are great, and you can have a nice housing allowance if you are married. Some bases actually have pretty decent married housing already on base, so that you can live on base and not even have to look for a house.

==Other benefits are traveling with him to all sorts of places. Especially if you wait to have kids, you can experience lots of places to see and travel with him, and see the world while you are young. This is an experience that many people don't get a chance to have in their lifetimes. Even if you have children, you can travel. There are DoDs schools in all European schools for the kids, and what an experience for them as well! I think it would a wonderful experience to live in so many wonderful places and see the world! There are also jobs available on the bases for the civilian spouses of the soldiers, such as working in the banks, schools, day cares, etc. so you can make a difference wherever you go, too!

==Military bases have lots of things to do on them, usually for free, for the families of enlisted men: theaters, libraries, gyms, family centers, etc. You can shop at the Commissary, PX/BX and do lots of other things like that, really, really cheap!

It can be a strain on a relationship, to have a husband doing all kinds of night duties, etc. But if you gain your independence and take advantage of all the programs offered by the base and find your own footing, you can see the world, take advantage of great benefits and have a great time as well.

Have fun, and enjoy life while you are young!! Life is an adventure!

Answer 2

The Army is very tough on families. The soldier will spend many long hours away from his/her family, sometimes for weeks on end, and that is just for training. Deployments last for a year or more with only a two week break to go home. The work is stressful and that is sometimes brought home, but that is the case with any job. One of the really bad parts is the infidelity. I have never been around som many people who cheat on their spouses. This isn't just the soldiers, but the wives and husbands too. In my unit, I can only think of two other couples that have remained faithful. On the plus side, they do offer a lot of programs to help out families. I would make sure you and your significant other are VERY committed before signing up for the Army life.

Answer 3

It will for sure affect. Both good and bad ways.

Bad:

Deployments (Iraq, Afganistan, Korea...all of these are a year if not longer with the army. Yes the other branches don't have as long as a year deployment. Then there is Egypt (usually 6 months), NTC which is about a month and of course other field problems and exercises (anywhere from a week to about 2 months)

Training...this could be anywhere from one month to several months.

Long hours...but then there are alot of jobs out there that don't just work the 9-5 thing. And of course you are not getting paid overtime.

ONCall..you are basically on call all the time. What ever time they call an alert, you have to be there. Morning, noon, and nite.

Early mornings..for PT and sometimes Piss Test

Hard on the marriage....if you don't have a strong marriage coming in, chances are you won't last through the enlistment.

Children...Through deployments and training exercises and Classes, children are left with only one parent. Which can make it hard not only on the children but the other parent as well. Times can get very stressful and strained.

Change...if you are not use to change, you will need to get use to it. Moving is a done quite a bit in the military and that can be hard.

My husband has been in almost 12 years and is currently deployed for the 3rd time and has done a Korea tour and several NTC trainings as well. So yes we have been there, doing that now. But would I give it up. Some days yes but no,not really.

Good THINGS:

Pay...you will always have pay, as long as you don't do something stupid.

Housing...you don't have to worry about having a place to live or paying for gas, electricity, etc., unless of course you decide to live offpost and you spend your money very stupidly.

Medical....you can be seen at the Post Hospital or Clinic. Might take a bit to get an appt but you will sooner or later get one.

Travel...Yes there is travel for family members. We have lived in AZ and visited CA quite a bit. Seen Vegas, The Grand Canyon, Live in GA and have seen FL, lived in NY and saw things around there. Have been stationed in Germany and we went to 15 other countries.

It is hard, it is stressful, it is a pain in the butt sometimes and yes there are days you will worry and be scared that your husband is off fighting in a war. But only you can answer how it will affect your relationship. Only you can say how much it will. Can you handle the long hours, the year deployments, being a single parent at times. ANd please don't get me wrong, I have days that I say I hate the army, I hate him being gone for so long, I have streeful days. But this is what I am.....an army spouse and I will support my husband in what choice he makes and I make the most of what I have to work with.

There are tons of groups and information out there for military spouses. You will just have to get out there and find it or ask for help, we are a great bunch of ladies.

But if you sit there and complain the whole time and say nothing and see nothing but the negative, then that is the only thing that will show through. You won't get the good parts of being a military wife.

Answer 4

I wonder why he isn't considering the Air Force. The Air Force is just about as family friendly as you can get int he military. They treat thier people better and families are a big part of life here. My husband has been Acitve duty for 3 years, My father si retired AF and currently a GS in the AF. I love the life. I wuldn't trade the military life for ANYTHING. Yes, my husband deploys for up to a year at a time (usually 4 months at a time, though) but honestly, the feeling of seeing your spouse walk dwon an airplane terminal after being gone is almost worth the separation. The AF take great care of our family. My husband's unit knows us by name. When my husband is gone (he's in Iraq now) they call me every week just to check up on me. If I need help with ANYTHING, they are at my door within the hour. the services are wonderful. We even get to eat at the Chow hall when he's gone and bowl for free! The Air Force is dedicated to thier Airmen and thier families!!!! We move every two years and we've loved everywhere we've been. Gowing up, I lived in FL, VA, Germany and the UK. Since my husband has been active, we've been in CO and FL. We have a 3 year old son and I think that he is going to be a better person for having been exposed to so much. He is one of the most well-adjusted kids I've ever seen.
The AF also has the BEST on-base housing of any branch. We live in a 2 bedroom 1200 square foot home with a garage with an opener. It has a large eat-in kitchen, living room/dining room and a separate family room. The backyard is large and fenced. If your husband wants family friendly then look into the Air Force

Answer 5

First of all I love being an army wife and wouldn't change it for the world. But its not the easiest life. It takes a strong woman to be an army wife. You have to be prepared to do everything on your own. Your husband will be in the field, at war, at school. He doesn't get to leave work at 5:00 if his boss wants to keep him. You have alot of responabilites that at times you have to take care of on your oen. My husband and I have been married for a 13 mo. and we have spent less than 5 weeks together. Granted he was in basic, AIT, then he came to germany a little over a mo before we did, and then went to IRAQ as soon as we got here. You have to be prepared to be by yourself. I don't say that yo scare you, but I have listened to so many wives complain that their husband is gone and I just want to smack them and tell them this is what we signed up for!! I love the army life. I like moving around every now and then so it suits me. Our first duty station was Germany, so we have the next 3 years to tour europe in between deployments. The pay is ok. The medical benifits can't be beat!! I'm a stay at home mom, there is no way that I would have been able to do that with my husbands job before he went into the army. And honestly I'm not sure we could if we were in the states. But the extra money for being overseas works out well. Military child care is the best!! All the centers are accredited and they do things the way the are suppose to be done!! There is no reason to fear leaving your child like there is at reg daycare centers in the states. I would definalty recommend it. Although, talk to your b/f and see if its something that he wants to make a career. To me its not worth it to sign up, go through the B/S of basic and AIT and to move around the country or around the world, leave your family for war just to give it up in 4 years. Be honest with each other about your feelings about him being in the army. It has to be something that you both are committed to.

Answer 6

FUBAR is appropriate here as well as in the field.

The Army provides tons of programs for assistance in family issues. They have groups to help answer questions about the soldiers' jobs and what they're doing in way of training and deployments. But you have to be adaptable. Even if he's not deployed to a warzone, he will have schools, and training, and long nights at the base. If you can handle these things, stay loyal, and continue to provide him with your unconditional support, you'll be fine. Most women can't do this, so yes, there is a sadly high divorce rate among our military.
Whatever he choses, good luck.

Answer 7

It didn't work for me but in my eye the army came before everything thats why it didn't work for me. But alot of my army buddies have families.

Answer 8

Yes. The old army saying"If the army wanted you have a family, they will issue you a family."

Answer 9

Hi there well first of all it is a different world and it can be a shock... but the plus side is you get to spend more time with your guy...and having a family is just the same as civvie street ....

Answer 10

Of course it will if your boyfriend would join he would eventually end up in Iraq or Afghanistan then he might be shot in there that is what is usually inside some ones mind about people joining the army.