I met my fiance at the local church. He was living at his sister's home so I offered to let him live with me. Now I have Christian friends telling me that I did the wrong thing and that he should move out until we are married. I feel pressurised either way, it seems wrong to refuse him and it seems wrong to be together in this way. Feedback and opinions would be appreciated - thanks.
2007-01-28 02:32:00 · 29 answers · asked by whenyou'restrange... 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thanks to everyone for their feedback. In response to queries:
Yes I am over the age of 18, that seems like an age ago
Please take into consideration that there is nowhere else for him to go at the moment.
2007-01-28 02:45:58 · update #1
I think you have answered your own question. You have to get the answer from within. Christ dwells in you, that is where you should look for your answer. Not from a network of people that might not have your best interests in mind. Your setting yourself up to allow satan to infiltrate your decision. When you are in alignment in Gods Word you will be drawn to him, if you are out of alignment you will look away from him. One feels good and the other will haunt you. You will know what to do. "The blessing of the Lord - it makes [truly] rich, and adds no sorrow with it]. Proverbs 10:22
Nothing can stop God from blessing the man or woman who chooses to seek and follow after Him. "Those who seek the Lord will lack no good thing." Psalm 34:10
2007-01-28 02:47:24 · answer #1 · answered by Snowflake 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are a Christian then -
The Bible instructs us to, Abstain from all appearance of evil, 1 Thessalonians 5/22.
What you have done does not sound good nor seemly. However innocent you may be it will bring reproach and be evil spoken of. You ought to regularise the situation as soon as you are able, either that he does not live with you until married or marry.
If you are not a Christian, what can I say? Who am I to preach to you, except to urge you to seek the salvation that is in Christ which is by far the most important thing to be concerned for.
2007-01-28 10:22:56 · answer #2 · answered by Judd M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because an unmarried man and unmarried woman shouldn't be living together.
Go to the minister's office and get married since you're planning too any way. No one believes that the two of you aren't married in the "Biblical" sense and sex is for marriage.
1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
2007-01-28 03:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
this is the "Christian" answer:
The answer to this question depends somewhat on what is meant by “living together.” If it means having sexual relations – it is definitely sinful. Premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture along with all other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to.
If "living together" means living in the same house, that is perhaps somewhat of a different issue. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong for a man and a woman to live in the same house – IF there is nothing immoral taking place. However, the problem arises in that there is still the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3) and it will be a tremendous temptation for immorality. The Bible tells us to flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Then there is the problem of appearances. A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together – that is just the nature of things. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is being given. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage.
2007-01-28 02:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by Cortney N 3 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Part of being a Christian is doing what is right in sight of God and men. Living together unmarried is not doing what is right in sight of men and leads to sin. (if it hasnt already)
If you consider yourself a Christian, you have no right to move in with a man youre not married to. You are just setting yourself up for disaster as well as setting a bad example. Now what happens when your little sister wants to move in with men? What happens when that teenager in your church wants to move in with their date/lover?
Look if you really love the guy, then just get married, it takes $20-50 and waiting period and maybe an AIDS test. If you dont want to get married, then DONT live with men you are not married to.
2007-01-28 03:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Fornicatiing is a sin. There is no questioning this in Christianity. Your Christian friends are correct. Now that you are living together it is like an very hard habit to break, like an addiction. Dr. Laura Schlesinger has told people time and time again that premarital sex leads up to many problems and that the bonds that hold a relationship together are not as strong. God help you both.
2007-01-28 02:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by Search4truth 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
when My husband and I first was engaged in 2001. I stayed with him on weekends to get away from my parents and I was around 24 at the time. Well, Weekends turned into everyday so I moved in with him. I was told by some of my Christian friends and thier parents that my husband and I was living in sin and I needed to get out of there. I didn't have no where to go and I didn't want to go back to my parents house. So we lived with each other until marriage and we are still married.
2007-01-28 03:01:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Like most of us, your heart is good, but our actions sometimes leave to be desired.
He should not stay in your house under the present arrangement.
However, if he was at the local church, we assume he is Christian and wanting to do the honorable thing.
He should take the initiative and say 'no thank you' to your offer.
If he doesn't, you must choose who has the greater influence in your life:
Your fiance or your God?
2007-01-28 02:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
It is a sin to have sex when you are not married. It is a very rare couple that can avoid the temptation while living together. The Bible also tells us to avoid the appearance of evil for the sake of not letting non-believers think what you're doing is ok. But, for the majority of couples, it wouldn't be just the appearance for very long.
God laid down the guidelines for our sexual relationships. As long as you stay within them, He will bless your marriage. If you falter and miss the mark, you will miss the blessing. So, it falls to you, do you want your marriage to begin in blessing or not?
2007-01-28 02:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by BaseballGrrl 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Your friends are right! You are living in sin. Why would he marry you fi he's getting everything now. Why buy the milk, if the cow is free? God made marraige for a reason. To bless the union of man and woman, not condemn it! If he loves you, he will understand, and you will feel better.
2007-01-28 02:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋