He is very shy but is also very lazy and can not be bothered to make an effect to make freinds....he is picked on alot at school too....so maybe this is why???I have tried everything I am a very out going always on the go person he is so not like me????any ideas I am all out.
2007-01-28 02:25:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think i need to make myself clear here..
I don't want to kick my son out the house i just want him to go out with freinds....
My son is still at school and has another ear and a half to go before he leaves...i just want him to make freinds have fun and get a life....
he does do chores and he tells me Everything infact too much at times..
I love my son and i want the best for him ..
I have tied clubs he doesnt want to do anything....
I am a single mom who has brought up my son who has learning difficulties by myself. I just feel he is missing out?? Thats all.
Thanks for all the good advice so far as for mum of the year!! I give myself the mum/dad of the year award!
2007-01-28 04:03:10 · update #1
I agree that if he is going to be home, give him chores to do. I don't agree with the idea of giving him so much he has no time to anything else. That will make him feel as if he is being punished for something, and I can't see anything he has done to be punished for. You as the parent can limit the t.v. and game usage, you don't need to work him is every waking moment just so he stay off the t.v., just simpliy turn it off.
As far as to why is isn't going out could be a number of different factors involved there. Getting picked on at school for whatever reason, that needs to be addressed. If it causing that much problems for him, then the school needs to be addressing the issue at school. If they don't do something about it, then the school board and on up until you get results.
He may also be depressed, which would explain not going out or "lazy" as you put it. When depressed, no you don't feel like doing anything, some depressions can be so bad to the point a person doesn't want to eat. So make sure this isn't issue.
If you address the picking on at school, give him chores, limit t.v. time and have made sure that he isn't going thru a depression, the by all means leave him to himself. I have seen 100's of parents that can't get their kids to stay home. Be thankful he isn't out doing drugs, drinking and driving or having sex! He is home minding his own buisness and staying out of trouble.
While he is home, make sure to spend time with him. Talk to him, find out what is going on in his life. When he starts to talk, don't interrupt him or be intrusive to the point he is feeling you fishing for something. Make the most of him being home and enjoy it, in a few years he will be out on his own and you will be wishing he was home again.
As far as ideas to get him interested...listen to him. Find out what he likes and find activities that match his interests. Join a church, they usually have great programs for teens. Join or form a teen mentoring program, something along the lines of big brothers/big sisters. There are so many little kids with nobody paying attention to them.
I wish you both the best of luck!
2007-01-28 02:52:12 · answer #1 · answered by spunkyshell2000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is he picked on? I think the first thing you should do is fix the reason that he is picked on... and don't think that someone shouldn't have to change to impress other people...well, then they can go on not having any friends... it's unfortunate, but it's the way the world works.
So, your first step is figure out why he gets picked on and reverse it.
Then, if he's going to be home - put his butt to work, he should do the dishes, laundry, any chores around the house you want him to... that will convince him to get out more... make sure he doesn't have time to play video games or watch TV... at home it should be - homework, dinner, chores, bed... if he needs entertainment, he should go out to seek it...
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I don't want you to make him think he's being punished, sorry! I just think it's important that he's being productive. Sitting home alone doing nothing is not productive, that's all...
I'd like to echo the job thing! Especially if he can get a job where he doesn't work with many of the same kids from school.
And I think all single mothers who try should be given the Mom of the year award!!
2007-01-28 10:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by Tiff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've tried to help him be a bit more out going, but have you concentrated on why he's picked on at school? Stand back and look at your son. Is there something about him that you would have picked on while in school? Help him over come whatever those things are. My son was the fat kid for a long time. I helped him lose weight and things have turned around for him. He has lots of friends and is very out going now, but he still likes to be at home. Maybe your son is just comfortable at home and prefers to be there.
2007-01-28 11:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apart from getting to the bottom of why he is being picked on leave him alone for a little while. Some boys at 16 are still a bit immature. Perhaps most guys his age are dating etc and he just isn't ready for that. Perhaps in 2 yrs time if you are awake waiting for him to come home from late night clubs etc you'll wish the situation was as it is now.
2007-01-28 11:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My nephew was the same at 16, when he was 18 he started going out and now he is 21 and has got a girlfriend
2007-01-28 11:01:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
its very hard when your shy to make friends i have a 16 year old hes not shy but very lazy its a phrase they go through theres nothing wrong in him beingnot like you hes individual when he gets in to work or whatever he wants to do his confidence will grow in time.
2007-01-28 10:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jaz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your son doesnt need to go out. maybe he finds himslef at home and thats temporary. in the coming 2 years he will change, and thats only when he finds himself. I think you need to work on your relationship with him more. Like making him gain your trust, Make him feel safe with you, and be his friend. Hang out with him and let him explore life outside through you and with you.
2007-01-28 10:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by majjud 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can see you won't be winning any "MOM OF THE YEAR AWARDS" Have you always been this heartless??He's 16 not 36!
2007-01-28 11:41:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
have you tried clubs?maybe he can pick one that he likes and he could meet up with people that have the same interest as him?
Don't try to push him to hard cos it could back fire on you and make him worse?
2007-01-28 10:31:22 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamangel 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
help him join some clubs
2007-01-28 11:04:11 · answer #10 · answered by wilma p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋