My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago and she's been with someone else since then, So I didn't like the fact of how she shifted so easily, so I made no contact at all with her. I love her so much and it still kills me to know that she's with someone else. And, lately she's been writing these notes to me saying how she doesn't like how we don't talk at all anymore and how much she misses me. She even said how much she would hate to see someone else take my heart and it had me thinking. So, I showed one or two people the note and her boyfriend found out about the letter and broke up with her. She asked me did I show anyone and I said know, Should I just tell her the truth, that I DID show people? I'm just affraid that she'll never be open to me anymore, and she'll get confused and not show her true feelings to me again
2007-01-28 02:21:57 · 10 answers · asked by Kenneth W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to tell her, but "TIMING" is the key, you must plan to tell her. Take her out to dinner, or buy her a box of chocolates, or bouquet of roses...
Sit her down and begin by saying.... I love you more than, than anything else i have seen or felt in my life. and when I tell you what i have to tell you I want you to take this into consideration... Think about how much I love you before you act with your emotions.... Secondly.. our openness and trust that we have with one another is the greatest gift you could ever give to me... never take that away from me... Thirdly.. I did something that I am not proud of, that betrayed your trust with me... I was hurt that you would just step out on me, when i loved you so much, so... I have to tell you... I did show the letter to xxx and xxx I am sorry, I was confused because I didn't have you to talk too... Please forgive me and give me the opportunity to earn your trust again, and I assure you I will never lie to you again.. about anything.. as long as you love me.....
Thats where I would start.. if you are uncomfortable write it down in a letter and have her read the letter while she is with you.. Hug her and kiss her before you tell her or give her the letter..
Good Luck...
2007-01-28 02:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by ibjuscoolin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, there are always reasons for breakups. If part of the reason for your breakup with your ex-girlfriend was dishonesty and trust issues; you have now convinced her that she can never trust you again.
You are not supposed to be going around showing personal communication to others. If you had wanted some additional insight into what she is trying to say to you in the notes, you should have asked her.
When you bring outsiders into your personal relationships, without your significant other knowing about it, it causes a loss of trust.
You would have been better off admitting that you had showed the note to other(s). It is quite obvious that she knows that you are lying, how else would other people know about it in order for it to get back to her boyfriend and cause the breakup?
All of these types of things always get back to the one or two people you don't want them to. Did you secretly know that this would cause trouble with the "new" boyfriend and is that why you showed other(s) the letter???? Sometimes we can subconsciously want things to go in our favor, and will try to deal with it in an underhanded manner.
If I were your ex, I would have a level of distrust for you that I could not even be friends any longer, let alone try to reestablish a more personal relationship. I hope that you use this as a learning experience. Some lessons in life are tough ones.
2007-01-28 06:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it was very childish & heartless for you to show her letter that she wrote to you to anyone.Secondly why would you not tell her the truth.That is probably some of the reason you broke up.Trust is everything in a relationship without trust you have nothing.If you are trying to mend thing's then why start out by lieing.I suggest you grow up and start acting like a man and the first step is taking responsibility for your own actions.IF she is not open with you anymore or does'nt want to be even friend's with you anymore you have noone to blame but yourself you caused her to lose trust & respect for you by showing other people her letter that was for you and you only..I am sorry if you don't like what i have said but i am telling you the truth and the facts..Good Luck.
2007-01-28 02:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am happy that you felt inspired by my idea! I wrote to ABC but I think they will not want to do anything because of the show being on their channel so I think I will write to 60 minutes, The Factor, and to Dr. Phil. I like that idea to tell the Congress about the way the wt uses its status to get rich and not even help to feed hungry poor people. I think we have something powerful to bring the tower to its knees now. I may write to the IRS TOO! Edited Sunday 1/11/2009 7:01 AM PST Mister Perfect said, "This is STUPID!" Amazing how you say this is stupid. Isn't it more stupid to adhere to the false teachings of a downward spiraling corporation who misuses the Bible and misleads millions of people? Namecalling and being ridiculous is what JWs on this site do best. If you'll excuse me I have to go to the bathroom. I gotta take a Mister and wipe my Perfect....LOL
2016-03-29 06:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm.......I'm thinking that she already knows you showed the letter to someone. How would the boyfriend be able to be mad about it if only you had seen the letter? That is of course provided that she didn't make multiple copies of the letter and send them out to people, which she didn't.
Dear she already knows that you showed the letter to someone, and that you lied to her about doing it. Your best bet is to come clean, but make it seem like, you were just so "confused about the mixed message, and you didn't want to read anymore into the situation than was actually there." So you-- repeat after me........."Asked some friends for their advice/opinion in total and complete confidence that it would end there and not go any further." ......and then throw in how much you have thought about her, and missed her too, but you didn't want to cause any problems with her new relationship...blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada........and you should be in like Flynn.
If you really love her......Good Luck!
.....but if you don't, then take a long walk off a short pier.
2007-01-28 02:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by jetaimemoncul 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her first the truth 4 respect before u show to other people.
2007-01-28 02:27:58 · answer #6 · answered by robert KS LEE. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you was wrong to show something that she sent only to you to anyone,it's called trust,and than you lie to her come on what do you think? she might forgive you but the trusting part is the hardest of them all.
2007-01-28 02:30:15 · answer #7 · answered by peered1964 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chances are, she already knows.
2007-01-28 02:27:43 · answer #8 · answered by moonierat14 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no man keep ur mouth shut... just let it develop... all is fair in love and war...
2007-01-28 02:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
dawwwwg ur an ********
2007-01-28 02:25:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋