My 3 year old was sitting by himself at school?

Question

I was picking him up Wednesday like always from preschool, when I walked in he was sitting all by himself. I kept on asking him why, and he said that he didn't want to play. Which I understand (but normally he has no problem playing with other children). But what really bothered me was that he teachers wasn't telling me what was going on. I had to go up to one of the teachers to ask her why he was sitting there. She said he just didn't want to play with the others, every time that they tried to have him come to the circle, he would cry. Shouldn't a teacher sit there with him, or was it right to leave him there by himself? Something was wrong with him, and what really P***ed me off, was the teachers were going to let me leave without talking to me. The teachers do not interact with the parents at all. Am I blowing this out of hand, or am I right? They have a "naughty rug" at school (which I don't think is right) and its just so hard to communicate with the teachers. What would you do?

I know, most of you I agree with. I know my son is aloud to have a bad day, and perfectly normal to sit by himself. The only thing that bothered me, was that the teachers weren't going to talk to me about it. There have been a few more incidents when I have had questions and the teachers really didn't help. And Im not the only parent in the school who feels that the teachers aren't communicating properly. Thank you for all the suggestions!

Answer 1

Kids have moods just like grown ups. Sometimes they need some "me" time. Or one of his playmates ticked him off earlier. You're right though, the teachers should tell you when something is different.

Answer 2

They don't have 1 or 2 kids to watch and monitor all day.. they have a whole classroom. They tried to get your child to come and join in, he didn't want to. He probably got into a tiff with someone and was insulted and sulking. I wouldn't worry about this unless it happens regularly. Then I would think that maybe he is being mobbed by other children. If the teacher pulled every parent to the side every time a child sulks or crys they would need an extra 4 hours a day just to talk to each and every parent. We all have our bad days, even kids.
If your child is sitting by himself again or often I would then ask the teachers to keep a closer eye on him to see what is up.

Why is a naughty rug bad? That is why a child goes who cannot play nice or does something wrong. Would you rather they use corporal punishment? Or maybe do nothing at all.

You would be suprised just how many parents tell teachers, "I don't know how you do it, little Johnny is always so good for you and such a devil for me" They are trained on raising kids, understanding kids and ways to get their attention or correct bad behavior. How many parents go through child rearing training other then life experience.

Answer 3

i think that the teachers should have let you know that he was upset.it is there job to make sure the well being of the child is taken care of.they basically act as you when they are takin care of them so would you ignore the fact that he was upset...no you wouldnt and they shouldnt either.i think the naughty rug is a great thing because when children are disciplined then they know that there is a certain place they do not want to be...like i usually have my 4 yr old put her nose on the wall and ever since i started this her behavior has been a lot better...she hates puttin her nose on the wall.i think you should talk to the manager of the daycare and tell them how you feel about this situation and that you feel the comunication between you and the teacher is not good...it might just be that that certain teacher isnt doing their job correctly...if things dont get better i would look into finding a new daycare:)

Answer 4

Well, the fact that they don't communicate with the parents would have me re-thinking where my child goes to pre-school. They should ALWAYS have some form of communication whether it be, notes, phone calls, e-mails or just plain notes if they're unable to reach the parent when they pick up their child. The fact that when you asked about your child and all the teacher had to say was; " He didn't want to." would have me asking questions. The teacher should have done more to get your child interested, even if it's offering comfort to your child. Then, when you asked about it, that teacher Should have told you exactly what she did to make your child feel more comfortable. As far as the teacher sitting with him so that he wouldn't feel alone, After she tried all that she could to try and make your child feel comfortable and he still wasn't responding, I feel that it would be appropriate to let the child be but also, make sure he's still okay.

Answer 5

first of all, I had a similar problem with my son's after school care, the teachers would always be sitting down and chatting instead of interacting with the children, they never explaied where the scratches and bruises on my son were coming from, or why he only had one friend he would play with. I always had to go in and drag it out of him. I ended up putting him into another after school care because of the lack of teacher interest. I have learned that if I want information about my child, I had to basically corner one of the teachers and pull teeth to get anything. These are signs of an unfit child care. I would research other pre-schools immediatley. Until another one is found, I would make it a point to "corner" a teacher every day for a progress report, ask the questions you'd like to ask, don't be afraid they'll get pissy, sometimes they do. You are the mother and have every right to know exactly why your child is being treated the way he is by them. Good luck!

Answer 6

The teachers at this school dont seem to be qualified to look after children. If i were you i would say something to the headmaster about this issue and make sure your kid is being treated with respect. Its quite common for a child to not want to play with others because children are just like anyone else. they want to make friends with who they like not force them into the circle an mingle together so dont worry about that but the teachers should of stayed with him and not let him sit there by himself. Kids can still develop depression and if they are not getting any attention then they will be sad. The naughty rug isn't a bad idea tho this idea is very effective proven on a uk show called super nanny and i do believe in this sort of punishment because taking attention away from a child is punishment thats the idea. but your son should not be punished by ignorance so sort that out. if the head teachers no help research on who to ring on the internet if you become that bothered by this issue thank you.

Answer 7

I would pull my kid out of a school if he is continously sad and is unable to interact with other kids. It just shows he doesn't like the place (even if it is because of just one teacher or a few classmates). The parent also has to be satisfied with the school. It is very important that your child is happy in his environment. Talk more to your child before you make the decision and find out what the problem seemed to be. Children might clam up for a while but they will talk when you make them feel you are there for them no matter what and don't judge them or scold them when they tell you what the matter is, even if they happen to be wrong in anyway.

Answer 8

Well I would be concerned about the teachers not communicating with the parents, I worked in child care for years and this was always totally unacceptable. I also dont like the naughty rug. It's never good to label a child "naughty" or "bad" or whatever. I would probably look for another day care myself. However its ok for them to play by themselves sometimes! I like to be alone sometimes, and I am sure my kids do too!!

Answer 9

He may have just been upset or something for a moment. If it happens again I would suggest talking with the teacher. Also, you might want to inquire about why the teacher did not talk with you. You might be able to request that she talk to you if your son acted oddly some day.

Answer 10

I think you're over reacting. Schools do not have the resources to have a teacher sit with every student who is experiencing meloncholy. What if 3 or 4 students wanted to sit alone? Should they call in extra teachers to sit with each child? Sounds like either your child was tired (just tired of being told what to do or physically) or he maybe comming down with somthing (cold or flu).

I hope you don't expect the teachers to pander to your child like you do, or your child will never learn anything.

Answer 11

Research the school more. Find out if has a controversial past or any of the teachers. Talk with your son and see if there is something troubling him.

Of course just be there for your toddler.

God bless.

Also try a licensed counselor for kids.