How do I convince my son that it's OK if he committed mistakes while learning? He gets frustrated very often.

Answer 1

Explain to him that that's how we learn to speak...a small child will say "I goed to the store" before he learns to say went. That's why it's so difficult for adults to learn to speak a foreign language, we don't get enough speaking practice for fear of making errors. To learn you have to jump in and be willing to make mistakes.
You could also use the example of science: a hypothesis is formed, and tested by process of elimination. Find biographies of people who achieved greatness only after many false starts, but never gave up.

Answer 2

He sounds like a perfectionist. I happen to be a major perfectionist as well.

My advice would be to remind him that life will go on. It's just one little mistake, and you're going to love him just the same whether he can do long division (or whatever!) or not. Also, perfectionists tend to be highly intelligent, so I bet he's way ahead of other kids in a least one, if not many more, subjects. It's not surprising that he occasionally has a little trouble with topics that are for people older than he is. Remind him how far ahead he is, and tell him that most children his age wouldn't even know how to do the problem.

I also find that taking breaks when I'm getting frustrated helps. Have him go play outside, or sit with a pet, or just do something else. Get his mind off of the problem for a while, and he'll probably figure it out soon enough. While this doesn't convince him that making mistakes is OK, it will hopefully keep him from getting too frustrated.

I do hope he feels better soon. I know what it's like, and it's certainly no fun!

Answer 3

How about telling him that there are no mistakes in learning? You've created this by pointing out 'mistakes'. It would have been better had you said rather that he has learned how not to do something.

If you can say, "Why does this not work?" or "How does this make sense?" rather than "This is wrong" or "This is a mistake", then they can think for themselves and that 'mistake' is a learning moment.

It'll be a long time to unlearn something so internalized that he's been frustrated. I'd say you're going to have to spend a lot of time reassuring him. Good luck! Two quotes that come to mind

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new (Einstein) and
There are no wrong answers, just (something) hypotheses (can't recall author or the actual descriptive) hope these help.

Answer 4

To me this is a tough one. My son has the same issues. He is very bright and most things come very easy to him, so when it doesn't he has a melt down and wants to give up. And anything less than 100% on school work is devestating.

The only thing I can do is push him to do it and keep encouraging him and remind him of the times he didn't think he could do something and then succeeded in the end. And how easy that thing is now. Since we have a few things under our belt, it is getting easier.

I kind of have to switch back and forth between 2 things to be effective. First I calm the melt down by reassuring him. I tell him how smart he is, that I am proud of him, that I know he can do this, that no one expects him to be perfect. If he knew everything he wouldn't need me. Then I coax him back to the task at hand.

Occasionally he refuse to be reassured and get in his your my mom, you have to say that mode. From there I usually let a little frustration show and get a little more authoritarian. You will do it whether you like it or not. You are not going to quit. I don't care if we sit here all day. This is tough to maintain and not really lose your temper because he is upset enough to be disrespectful. But I maintain and keep pushing, occasionally offering praise for the work he is doing. By the end of the assignment he is still a little mad, but mostly he feels better about himself. And the next day it is easier.

It is a lot to deal with, fortunatly it doesn't happen often. But no matter what your situation, it will be better because you are there. You are a part of it. Most kids aren't that lucky. In public school no one sits down one on one and works through these things. Kids are left to work through it on their own, or not. Especially those who excell in most areas.

So, be patient. Know that you are not alone. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Making a mistake can actually be a good thing. You learn more from your mistakes than you would if everything you tried turned out exactly right the first time. A mistake forces you to review your work in detail and pay more attention to the relationships between the data and thereby gain more knowledge of that which you are studying. An occasional mistake also reminds us that we have to work toward perfection though we will never become perfect.

Also, tell him if he can't deal with his own mistakes he will not be able to deal with the mistakes of others and be able to identify with them.

Answer 6

This is just an idea- but I hope it helps. You are home schooling, correct? What about a project on the all of the "failures" of certain inventions or inventors. Do you have any idea how many prototypes there were for the gramomphone, the telephone, the light bulb, electrical wiring in houses, etc.? He may need to see that mistakes are NOT failures, but eliminating the wrong way to do something- I can't remember if it was Einstein or Edison, or who, but the gist of the quote was something to the effect of no one knows if there are 1 or 4000 ways to successfully do something. However, in order to find the one right way, you almost always have to do it the wrong way first. A report using his hero's "failures" may help show him the difference between mistakes and possibilities.

And possbily team sports.

Answer 7

This is something best communicated by example. Learning can be frustrating. You can help by relating similar experiences you have had. You can also illustrate the point by trying to learn something that your son does well, but you don't. If your son is good a video games, for example, and they just aren't your thing, have him teach you a new video game. Your example of a good attitude in learning will help your son see that we all make mistakes while learning and although it may be frustrating at times, it happens to everyone and is no big deal.

You might also want to visit the site below. It gives the history of the light bulb and makes the point of Edison's thousands of failures before the electric light was a practical success.

Answer 8

I think some kids are perfectionists, both of mine are; plus it's a stage, my son was really like that from about 7 to 10, and now is better, and my 7 year old dd is like that now. The ironic part is my son is a perfectionist and a dyslexic so that has got to be tough!

I do point out my mistakes. My son also would then get a kick out of pointing them out for me! I also made a point to have a good reaction and laugh at them & with my son. I would say instead of crying or being upset with myself, I can laugh at myself. I realize mistakes are a part of the learning process.

Answer 9

I'm a primary teacher and deal with self esteem problems like this all the time. Try telling him about a difficult experience you went through like learning to drive, make all the mistakes ott but emphasise the point that you perservered, never gave up then express how the feeling of passing then was 10 times better because you overcame your difficulties. Also, when helping with homework, playing games, cooking etc, deliberately make mistakes you know he can correct, let him correct you and say wow, thanks, I'm going to remember that next time and correct yourself, this will give him some satisfction and show him you are making mistakes and learning from them.

Answer 10

If this is in regards to homework, this is what i recommend. After he gives you the assignment, grade and then go over each question with him and work out the different problems. If it is math, then work the problem with him, if its grammer have him read the answer out loud every time he does it to see if he can catch his own mistakes. By his finding the problems with why he made the mistake then he will be able to understand it more in the future and know how to work it himself, giving him more confidence in his ability to correct his mistakes. Thus he will have less worry in making the mistakes in the first place. ****You might try at first giving a half a point extra credit towards the assignment to give him incentive to find the mistakes himself****