jealousy... can it be passed on?

Question

My whole family from my grandparents to my relatives.. we are all VERY rediculously jealous... and I am scared it has passed on to me.. I am a very jealous woman.. probably due to my insecurities.. It's really giving me a hard time.. because when i get this feeling i want to hurt myself.. because i feel crazy.. angry.. and i know it's unhealthy... My bf doesn't help.. he puts me into situations that makes me jealous and jealousy causes me to hate myself.. because i am seing my family's bad personality... I dont want to be jealous but my bf is acting really weird about things.. my was off work.. and i knew he went to the bar because if he's not at work and not at home he's at the bar.. so i called him pleanty times.. he never answered.. His friend finally gets home but he wasn't home with him.. so i went to the local bar assuming he was going to walk home which i was gonna pick him up.. the window at the bar.. i saw home playiong pool so i went inside..

Then i saw this girl he works with that is known to be hoeish... so i flip because he didn't call me.. and he said he texed me but i guess it never went through.. on our way home i asked him why he even stayed after when his friend left.. then he gets mad.. started speeding and brought up a subject about how i scratched his car.. i asked him why he even said that. We got home he kept trying to make me see his phone.. look i texed.. but i couldn't look i was too emotional.. so when he slept i looked and the text message to me was gone.. then i looked to see if he recieved my calls and he did but never answered. He erased his message to me.. so i am left more suspicious.. i texted myself to see if it would go through.. it did... I want to change and not be jealous but how can i when he puts me in that situation? It's killing me... when he didn't put me in that situation i was fine.. i know he wouldn't hurt me.. but he will try to lie...because he knows he did wrong.. what do i do???

Answer 1

Jealously is not the issue her, it is insecurity. Jealously is a feeling, and as such not passed on genetically, however, being in a household with insecurity issues by all can induce the behavior in anyone growing up in the house or family. You might need to seek counseling for it.

However, it does sound like there are martial issue's going on here too, so I would address these in counseling too.

Answer 2

Was that the end you saw him playing pool. Your environment plays a big part in your behavior. You have seen generations of insecure women so you act accordingly. Hurting yourself because you dont want to be jealous is not good for you. Seek professional help quick and take your mom as well. I see nothing that your boyfriend has done to warrant you getting jealous. He was playing pool and he didnt answer the phone. I am sure you had called a million times and he wanted to enjoy himself instead of pampering you. Your boyfriend isnt doing anything to help you because has done enough I am sure. Its in your nature not to trust.Why would you want be in a relationship if you know you have these insecurities? Your BF should stop going out with his friends let him have time away from the relationship.

Answer 3

It is possible since jealous is antural possesive instinct that mammals have been able to pass down from genegration to generation.

Jealousy is not the same thing as love. Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them. Jealousy is not love, it’s the fear and anger of losing love. Jealousy disappears when you are truly loving yourself and others for whatever experience you’re having.
Learn to be happy yourself and what you have. Everyone is different and each person has their good and bad qualities. Realize that you have the potential to create a better future.
Try to talk about your problems with someone. Perhaps you feel that these jealous tendencies are a private matter; then, you ought to anonymously ask an advice column or similar construct about your problem.

For more Information vist www.wikihow.com

Answer 4

Jealousy cant be passed on geneticaly.

Humans dont have that kind of gene.

But it can be passed on by family atmosphere.

Like you said jealousy is connected your feeling of insecurities. This insecurity usually comes from your mother or father*s attitude toward you.

your parents love toward you may be quite conditional , I guess.

For example they give compliment to you only when you did something they like. Usually you dont feel you receive unconditional love.
if parents behave like this their children tend to be quite jealousy , emotionally insecure, or even tend to have inferiority complex.

You cannot cure this kind of jealousy in a day or two.

It will continue during whole your life.It has strong root.

So I think you d better find a good doctor.

Answer 5

I hate to say this but i do think it can be passed on. Not like a infection or any thing, My mum is a very jelous person.. and i think if you grow up around that kind of enviroment you do end up with it in you. My dads abit of a ladys man and my boyf says that i dont really trust men because of my dad.. so things like that can rub off onto you. But dont panic... You just have to stop your mind running away with you. I have to good luck x

Answer 6

I don't think he's putting you into any position, you're doing that yourself with the intense insecurities that ail you. My best advice would be to seek professional counseling to overcome or learn to manage these bouts of insecurity. You've learned from your family that this is the way you handle situations and it isn't. You can change and learn to deal with this but the first step has to come from you.