what would you have done?

Question

my son 18 is in jail for like 5 mon.pending another charge his g/f and him have been staying here at my home .,now it is only her well we told her 2 weeks ago mind you she has been here for 6 mons.she needed to pay somthing she said ok 100 every 2 weeks i said no just 75 will be ok mind you see does nothing in this house she stays in her room all day until she has to go somewhere the first time to pay she was ok with it well she was due friday to pay again our house payment alone is 800.00 any how i had to ask her for it several times due to we have no money bad times have hit i am disabled he lost his job for no reason he is on unemployment not much money comming in at all well now she is pregnant at 19 my 2nd grand child but any i noticed yeaterday her room door was closing real hard i could hear her lock the door in my room so she when to work so i decided to wright her a letter i knew she was upset cause of the money,she is also depressed for many reasons one being my son

well i wrote her this letter not yelling or being mean telling her my door is open if you need to talk well i took the letter to her room to put it on her bed i looked down at a letter she had been wirghting to my son i saw your mom so i read it , what she had said about me realy up set me lies she was trying to tell my son things like i am tired of supporting your mom and her b/f your mom wont quit bitc*ing me out making me cry they r freaking capable of supporting them selves mind you I feed her give her money all the time she said she is going to snap i am sick of supporting them she has paid twice,just totaly disrepcting me when i have done nothing but help her she dont shower her room is a mess i saw 9 cups like 7 plates and alot of trash i give her money for gas food told her i would pay to fix her car because it is bad she cant be driving it like that w/baby i told her not to worrie i will buy the stuff the baby needs the letter change my feelings what would u do.?

I dont yell at her I treat her w/ respect all the time well i made her move out was i wrong

i have done every thing i can to get her to help i try to spend time with her because i do love her,but nothing works i did not make her leave because i dont care but i have tried and tried with her , so i called her mom ,and told her what was going on so her mom came and got her,i dont think i was wrong but now i just might not be able to have my grandbaby in my life i do love her .but she is like a spoild child and dont ever did anything i ask of her and now she has totaly disrepcted me..

as as his job yes he was fired foer no reason,their is such a thing we r apling it,and yes she has a job, and i also have this homeless guy staying her who is willing to pay when he can and does do alot around the house but i give her slack because she is having my grand child but enough is enough she is safe with her mom.

Answer 1

You have no need to feel guilty as this girl misused your kindness and hospitality and instead of being grateful, went and bad-mouthed you to your son. If she does stop you from seeing your grandchildren then I'm sure your son will be able to convince her otherwise. Best of luck though.

Answer 2

She is obviously looking for sympathy from your son or trying to make him feel bad for not being there with her. But she has disrespected you by telling lies about you to your son. You had every right to make her move out if she was not helping you around the house. What you need to do is write your son and tell him that how you found the letter and tell him that you don't appreciate her lying since you let her stay under your roof. Your son should be able to talk some sense into her so that you will be able to see your grandchild. She so needs to grow up maybe that was they way she was brought up to not have to pick up after her self and to be disrespectful

Answer 3

Make friends with your future daughter in law.

She lives there. She should be like your daughter. Her hanging out in the room, not talking to nobody, I mean what's her problem? You've been paying for her. Cook a meal, invite her.

Talk to her. She's carrying your grand child, no matter what happens with your son, who sounds like he's got his own problems.

Get her to do stuff with you all, so that she's not in the room, living there, not doing anything. Formally welcome her to the family, you and her, one on one.

Tell her about what your son was like, talk about him. Talk about her, talk about you. Ask her for help around the house.

If she is not willing to work with you, tell her okay, look we got this house we got bills. We need to work through this or else she needs to pay full rent, somewhere else. Which is big time money.

Does she have a job? She needs to do something until delivery day comes, because long term, she's gonna have a child, and a husband with a record, plus have to deal with child care, maybe by herself if something happens to him.

People being who they are, they might try to freeload off of you, until you all go down. Don't let it happen.

When you say "He lost his job for no reason" do you mean your husband? I never heard of no reason.

Consider the fact that you might lose your house. Seriously, unless you get something going.

Consider renting out a room or Rooms to a poor college girl who is not a partyer. You need to get some income, fast, it seems. Good luck.

Answer 4

Kick her butt out..
She's an adult ,not even your child ,asking for 100 every 2 weeks to give her a place to stay isn't much..You don't need to kiss her bumm,its your house..She can qualify for gov assistance i suggest she gets on the list and you wipe your hands of that mess..You'll end up having to raise the grandbabies to if you don't stand now..

Answer 5

She is probably feeling very scared and alone at this time. Try to be a support for her, but let her know that you need her to contribute or she will have to leave. Why not acknowledge her feelings and the baby? This will let her know that there is someone in her corner and she might come to understand your predicament.

Answer 6

You did the right thing. What you need to do next is try to explain the truth to your son then try getting your grandchild back into his father's and your lives. As for your son's gf, she'll probably grow out of her bad attitude. Good luck!♥

Answer 7

She sounds like a total nightmare - to be fair it sounds like your son has made a few bad choices in his life and she is one of them. Yuo have done your best. Take a step back and hopefuly when she has grown up she will see the effort that you have made. I feel very sorry for you - the gf is an idiot.

Answer 8

You need to tell her that you are financially pushed for the moment and need her contribution to make ends meet. Tell her in a calm way without shouting or blaiming her.

I am sure she will understand.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I'd of called her mother a long time ago and told her you better come and get your kid. And I'd be questioning just who is the father of her baby.

Answer 10

you should have never let her move in