how can i stop being bitter?

Question

i am 27 yrs old, i use to be quite happy, but life has dragged me down. I had a best friend who betrayed my trust, my dad died from cancer 3 years ago, my boyfriend has cancer at the moment, i think i am getting more and more bitter, i thrives at other people's misery, i really hate it, please tell me what to do?

Answer 1

Just remind yourself every day that bitterness as a bitter medicine to have to swallow and it acts like a poison in your system that is slowly destroying you mentally and physically. I really believe this. Everything happens for a reason, however hard are lifes challenges. We are supposed to come up smelling of roses but we cannot do that if we are swallowing a poison (bitterness) every day. Try to think about all the positive things that have happened in your life, however small some of them might seem. Remind yourself of these every day. Life is a blessing whatever our circumstances. Surround yourself with happy and grateful people, that often helps too. You need to be positive and happy for your boyfriend who needs you right now. Your positive strength will help him and in so doing it will help you too.
Take care.

Answer 2

hi there! well first off realize that you're not alone. I believe we all at some point in our lives no matter how short or how long we struggle with some kind of bitterness. I mean, who ever said life was easy?? But there is always a solution or a better way to deal with our problems or situations. I myself am goin through the same problem as you are at this point so I totally understand how you feel as far as feelin bitter. One thing that has helped me out allot is setting weekly or monthly goals for myself, any type. Something positive to look forward to sometimes gets your mind out of the negative. Its not easy thats for sure but its not impossible either. Also I tend to think outside the box too. There are many people out there that are probably and more likely going through worse at this point but yet they move on no matter what. They still have a smile on their face even though their life was or isn't that great.
On my personal experience I've been through a sexual abuse by my biological father since i was 6 yrs of age all the way till puberty. My grandmother died as well a few years later and so did my friend that same year. I kept being verbally abused until i went off to college and had the guts to report it to the authorities. I was 19 at that time. I am now 21 and happily married but that doesnt mean that it has been at all easy but theres really more to life than all the negativity that happens in life, at least thats what I have lived by and its what really gets me going. So really set positive goals for yourself and focus on them. Dont let bitterness take away all the happiness life has to offer you even when you think all is bad. Put a smile on that face and be thankful for all the good things you now have and dont dwell too much on what could happen in the future because that can sometimes be a strain as well. Think positive and believe it or not sometimes good things do come out of the bad....the abuse was not right and its not something you would wish for anyone, but the outcome of it did make me become a stronger person within. I wish you the best! take care :0)

Answer 3

Well, the first step is acknowledging that you are bitter. Sadly, many bitter people refuse to change and subject others to their draining disposition. I dont think I need to tell you that the fact that you relish others misfourtunes is just broadcasting your unhappiness. I am sorry to hear about your tragic events. MANY people go through life and refuse to admit that people who they think are there friends, are really not. Nobody wants to admit that they invested so much time and effort for nothing. Also, I have noticed a correlation amongst people getting older and increasingly bitter. If you want some helpful advice, view my other post pertaining to life lessons. I consider myself a happy, carefree person, and its a result of the lessons I posted. Good luck. Gain mastery over your mind, and you can convert a shitty situation into a heaven!!! It always comes down to a state of mind.

Answer 4

I think you should listen to Renny. What an amazing story of survival. You can do this too. I hope the very best for you. Hang in there. Don't let bitterness drive you to drinking. My mother-in-law killed herself this way. Slowly drank herself to death.

Set down and make a list of all the good things in your life. I went through a terrible crisis in my life during the winter one year. My father called and said, "Honey, look out the window and tell me what you see?" I said nothing and he asked me again. Finally, I told him that I saw a Cardinal in the snow. He told me that was my sign that spring would come again in my life. When everyone else was bringing me down around me. From a far off distant land someone else brought me words of hope.

Here is the name of an excellent, beautiful book that helped me pull through those winter months. "Hind's Feet in High Places!"
Read about the lady who wrote it as I am sure it was while she was in seclusion after her Father had died.

I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Apparently you do not thrive on the misery of others, remember, you're bitter!

Life can really throw some hard balls and we're not prepared to sit back and catch them, so we get hit, hard, and it hurts. We get angry at the things we can't change, we sometimes get angry at the people we love so darned much because their pain is causing us pain too. No one wants to feel like crap all the time because it seems like everyone we care about is going to leave us. We can't control that and it pisses us off, it makes us bitter. People we need and love die, people we confide in break hearts by betraying us. What can we do?

We go on. We hold on tight to the ones we love and we stop dwelling on what we can't change. You sometimes have to force yourself to look for the good things that are going on all around you. You do the best you can to brace yourself for the inevitable future and all the sorrow it holds and still, you have to seek out what joy there is in loving, laughing and living. Swallow the bitter pill and don't give in to that way of thinking anymore. Re-route all the effort and energy you've put into being miserable into being happy and you're bound to find some peace in this mess called life.

I had my fill of being bitter for such a very long time. In the past four years I've broken my back, I've fought cancer twice, b cell lymphoma, I've endured a bone marrow transplant and I've watched my relationship with my husband disolve into nothingness. I go on. I take each deep breath of sweet nourishing air and fill my lungs with laughter, in the midst of all my bitter days, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl 15 months ago.

Sometimes, we're given something to look forward to. Look around and seek out what that is for you. Being bitter takes too much effort and it really drains the good from you. Take a deep breath and get rid of it!

Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Well you have made the first step, because you are aware of what you are doing, some people i think are not. I get this way and get angry but it usually passes. Sometimes I will spend too much time alone because I don't want to inflict my crappy attitude on someone else. Stop yourself when you get bitter thoughts and think of something positive. Things could be worse.

Answer 7

I think that you stop trying to make other people miserable and help people like me get the truth out so we can be happy again. I think we have confused righteous anger with a society that isn't allowed to feel or express anymore. I think we need to put the feelings where they belong and recognize them fully and then we all might just be a little bit happier.

Answer 8

Ignorance is bliss. The older I get, the more I'm ready to write off most of the human race as a waste of protoplasm. But someone has to feed the cats...

Answer 9

put some sugar on it, lol. just kidding,hey life sucks sometimes we all go through rough times and you need to learn to deal with it. whenever your feeling down you nee to focus on something else, maybe take up a hobby like bike riding or swimming just to do osmething. cheer up

Answer 10

Stop being such a whiner. If you are 27 it's all downhill from here.