A cousin of mine stayed with us for a short period of time. She's in her early 20's and is known to sleep around, and get into trouble. We've tried to talk to her about changing her lifestyle and getting some help. She had 2 kids before she was 17, and she doesn't have custody of either one of them. I don't want to let her go, because she'll end up on the streets or worse!
I want to be there for her, but it drains me to have to constantly worry about where she's at and having to pick her up in the middle of the night.
I believe she has ADHD and may have FASD, but there has never been any tests done on her. She refuses to get these done, and because she's an adult now, we can't force her.
I don't want to push her away, but it's hard on me, emotionally, to have to deal with her complaining about everything, and not doing anything about it. I know I can't change her, but we're her only hope in keeping her alive, at this point. What else can I do?
2007-01-27 20:58:31 · 6 answers · asked by argamedius 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You are enabling her activity if you are keeping her "alive." She needs a serious conversation with you, and a cut-off. There is no such thing as ADHD, she's just a person brought up poorly with low self esteem and she's selfish. Some people have to hit rock bottom before they decide to grow up and act like an adult and so the extent to which you are supporting her, you are allowing her not hit rock bottom.
2007-01-27 23:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I have no idea. What about if you go to your church (if you go) and ask your minister to talk to her. It just may be that you have to let her go and she may hit rock bottom and be there for her when she does. She is an adult and this is the choice she made. Set down ground rules for living at your house and if she isn't happy ask her to leave. You need to take care of your emotional well being as well
2007-01-28 05:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, I sounds like she doesn't want to be an adult.She obviously doesn't take care of her own responsibilities.If you continue to bail her out of these situations, she may never.It is very tough to allow someone to fail on there own.To make the wrong choices.But in alot of cases this is the only way some people ever grow up.And it's not fair to you to suffer.You have your own life to live, and it sounds like she is really hurting you.Whatever happens, I wish ya'll the best of luck.
2007-01-28 05:08:27 · answer #3 · answered by bayougirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there really isnt much more you can do other than let her know you love her. Also say exactly what you just said on this question to her, it wont stop her directly, but it will at least let her know she is cared for.
2007-01-28 05:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs more help than you can give her. She needs help professionally. Don't let her use you as a doormat. Tell her she needs help and help her get it.
2007-01-28 05:03:54 · answer #5 · answered by supersweetfungal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rid of her
2007-01-28 05:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by maisyn3m ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋