I am married to the first person that I ever slept with. She has only been with one person other than me. We are now approaching our 10 year anniverssary. My lack of variety has never bothered me until recently. I don't know why, but I had a dream about my wife sleeping with her ex. This really caused me a lot of pain. I know it was only a dream, but it is based on reality. They in fact had intercourse once upon a time!
Even though I try to erase this thought of my wife and her ex together I cannot get over it. Also, I can't help but feel that I missed out in my younger years. So in order to rectify this situation, I feel the need to sow my wild oats like I should have before getting married. This is the only way I feel I can make my marriage last for the rest of my life. How am I supposed to resist all the temptation that is going on around me? I mean, women these days are practically giving themselves to every dude without any commitment.
2007-01-27 20:57:17 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Marriage isn't always easy. Everyone can feel the way you do at one point or the other, but if you love your spouse, you will discuss your feelings with her. I don't suggest acting on your desires because that may destroy the marriage. Talk to her - perhaps you two can do something wild together like have a threesome and sow wild oates together.
2007-01-27 21:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by ambersaintclair 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Simple answer : YOU ARE MARRIED.
If you wish to have sex with other women there are three options.
1) Do it without your wifes knowledge & consent . However be prepared to pay the price of being discovered. Never ever a good idea if children our involved in the family.
2) Discuss it openly with your wife & talk about lifestyle changes i.e swinging , some women are perceptive to this ideology & if done openly & with known guidelines & limits it can be very rewarding for everyone involved.
3) Leave your wife & lead your life how you see fit.
However do not fool yourself into thinking that sowing your wild oats as you put it is going to make your marriage better in any remote way. Good Luck...
2007-01-28 05:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by Juggernaut 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the reasons why I think people should have sex before marriage....to get it out of their system before committing.
But, don't do it now if your wife finds out that can do irreparable damage to your marriage. If you decide that you absolutely must cheat on your wife to get over the feeling of having missed out (btw, be careful what you wish for because if you do happen to find out she's terrible in bed it may also make it hard to make the marriage last the rest of your life...sometimes ignorance can be bliss) make sure you are safe about it and that the person you sleep with doesn't know who you are and that your wife will never find out.
I actually broke off an engagement because I didn't feel I had gotten to "sow my wild oats" (well, that and I could no longer picture myself being with that guy since he had started showing his true colors)...so I know how you feel. I think you'll find you didn't miss out on much, sex in a relationship is so much more fulfilling than a one night stand.
btw, if I didn't make it clear enough; I really think you should just bite the bullet on this one and stay true to your vows...marriages are built on trust after all.
2007-01-28 05:17:09 · answer #3 · answered by laetusatheos 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, were you taking your vows seriously, when you married this woman? I mean, if you are thinking about sleeping with someone other than your wife, then you should have thought about that, before you got married.
Marriage is based on trust, and if you feel you don't have that in your relationship, then you need to seriously consider your options - one of them being that you need to pull out of this marriage if you don't think you're willing to commit yourself to this woman for the rest of your life.
The other option is to try to work things out with your wife, and get it out in the open on how you feel.
It sounds like you're feeling insecure in your relationship, and are using her previous relationship as an excuse to fulfill a need that is to your benefit, only.
You can't assume that 'women these days are practically giving themselves to every dude without any commitment', because that's putting all women down, and that's just not the case. Maybe the women you know, personally, would do something like this, but that doesn't mean 'all' women are like that.
Think long and hard about your decision. With the way STD's are increasing and the risk you're willing to take, in committing adultery, you're bound to not only hurt yourself, but your wife, too.
Don't go making any decisions before discussing with your wife, how you feel and get some feedback from her end. There are two parts to this story, and before making your final decision, you need to take your wife's feelings into consideration, since that is a part of your original vows you took with her, when you married her. In the end, if you choose to go ahead with your decision, then you may very well lose the best thing in your life, as well as lose whoever else you may end up with, who may walk out on you, too.
And by you wanting to 'sow your wild oats', you're doing what you said in your previous statement, about women. You're doing just that, 'giving yourself to anyone without any commitment'.
Think about it...What are you really afraid of?
2007-01-28 05:11:29 · answer #4 · answered by argamedius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're having a mid-life crisis and you're looking for reasons to cheat. You're trying to rationalize adultery. How would you like it if your wife started to have some of the thoughts you're having? You know it is much easier for a woman to go out and get some than you think. We start getting propositioned like at age 12 and spend our whole lives turning people down and you say you're fighting temptation. You need to stop and reevaluate. Your wife is the one that could easily hook with some young stud and not worry about commitment, how would you like that?
2007-01-28 05:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by flacocajuncujo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is what you will end up with-if you betray your wife you will end up with one of these women who practically give themselves to every dude. Plus every disease that is out there. Don't be stupid. You had better be faithful it takes years to build trust don't throw it away. If you ever do you will never feel good about yourself anymore. It is hard to find people who do have values so hang on and cherish what you do have. Grass isn't greener on the other side. Maybe spice up your sex life. Good Luck
2007-01-28 05:06:35 · answer #6 · answered by holliemay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, sure, screw up your life and your marriage.
Stranger sex cannot compare to making love to your wife.
It will be all fun until you *** and the guilt starts setting in... You'd regret it for the rest of your life.
You should have thought about all this before you got married, dumbass.
Try to live your life on a higher level... Be proud of your fidelity - all you will get from the little whores you speak of is VD and a lifetime of guilt and probably a divorce...
Spice up the sex life with your betrothed. Put these thoughts out of your mind and move on and upward.
2007-01-28 05:06:05 · answer #7 · answered by j_mang 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Have you tried to talk with your wife? You are in a committed relationship and you owe it to yourself and your wife to confront issues head on together. If you become unfaithful there is no coming back. Maybe your wife is bored of the same old, same old. Try and spice things up as they say. Marriage is not something to throw away on a whim. Something has come up for you to become fixated on this. What is it? Whats the real reason? Talk with your wife, she may surprise you.........
2007-01-28 05:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by kelstar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Appreciate the fact your Wife married you and not him !You cannot re=live your youth by behaving in this way ,stay true to your wife and talk to her about your insecurities.Try to build up your confidence and look to improving this negative thought pattern.Positive action is needed and that means looking forward and not back.You cannot change the past ,you can only learn from the experience.
2007-01-28 05:33:56 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsay Jane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find your funky side with your missus!!!Get some sugar one night, buy some porn, get her a sexy outfit and shake your money maker! Ipromise you there is plenty of fun to be had with the one person if you do it...WRONG!! Think outside your box, Seriously get her off her guts and watch what your missus can do, you'll be amazed! If you keep having thoughts like this get a divorce and try your hand at being a player, DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN< it makes you a dog and noone wants to be that!
2007-01-28 05:06:54 · answer #10 · answered by katiejubba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋