Is it our vanity, or fear of being old, that lets us allow young children to call us by our first names?

Question

As children, we always called our neighbors, "Mrs. Jones" or "Mr. Smith", and in most cases so did our parents. Close friends of the parents were often called "Aunt Betty" or "Uncle Frank." Our friend's parents were "Mr and Mrs Thompson." This is not back in the dark ages--it was still happening in the 80s. We would never dream of calling adults by their first names.

Answer 1

Partly its a reaction to the high Divorce rate the men tend to stay Mr. but several of the Adult ladies I knew changed their last name a couple of times. and calling a divorcee Mz instead of Mrs or Miss just never really caught on.

I think the many living together but not married couples
are also having an effect. Addressing invitations to Mr X and Miss or Mz. Y is so awkward

Answer 2

Respect isn't shown by using first or last names, respect is being shown by using whatever the person you address prefers. I'll usually start out by say Mr & Mrs if someone is older than me but up to my own age it's first names... I'm 38 now and yes it does make me feel old to hear anyone say 'Mrs' -besides it is Miss and will be always 'cause I'm not married nor do I plan to be. I also call people up to my own age 'boy' and 'girl'! The other day I discussed this with a colleague (31) and she was the same way, we had a good laugh about it when we considered what it'd sound like if we kept doing that all our lives... when we are in a home for the elderly, in our 80's... "Did you see the walker that boy on the second floor has?" LOL!

Then again it's probably also how I was raised, I was raised quite respectful but also my parents & many of their friends were very liberal... no not hippies (although I was born in the 60's :)) but very easygoing on such subjects as names... 'please' and 'thank you' sure but first names were considered as perfectly fine. Also went to a highschool where the teachers went by their first names while my friends who went to other schools considered that weird. It's just a bit less formal & more easygoing but not necessarily a sign of disrespect or all-over lack of upbringing!

Answer 3

I lost some memory. I can't remember before a certain time in my life. I think that memory doesn't imprision us, but more contains us. I don't know what I think about memories, some i wish to forget sometimes, but I know that I grew as a person from those. Even the good memories, I think will impact us, make us do things we wouldn't usually do just because we know we will like the outcome. It would be imensly confusing if i din't gave memory. I'm in 9th grade, and Alg 2 would be awefull, but, i don't think the teacher would remember to come to school... i dont think we could have school..... this is a great question, you should continue posting it to get as many answers as you can.

Answer 4

My children's friends always called me by my first name and I certainly didn't mind. But when I was kid in the 60's I called my parent's friends Mr. or Mrs. whatever. I didn't mind doing that eiother - but what I loved was calling some of my parents friends "Aunt" or "Uncle", It gave me the feeling that they were close and so there was an affectionate bond there.

Now that I am in my 50's, some little ones that I know in the community called me "Auntie" and I love that. It makes me feel special.

Answer 5

How we address and speak to other people shows what sort of respect we have for ourselves and others. How else IS respect shown? there is nothing wrong with showing your children how to respect other people....it teaches them standards of respect for themselves.

Plus, my daughters LOVE the reaction they get from adults when they say Mr. Smith or Mr. Jones. Usually people laugh and tell them how polite they are and then ask them to call them by their first names. Which is fine!

Answer 6

bonding was not taught as it is viewed in simulation around the globe: many other types of "happenings" were doing more for humanity than big brothers think tank~we came (america) here to rid our lives of religious persecution: was the reason we left England as our text books taught? this respect has lost ground but it is ground that was never enlightening to us when we had to pay tribute to something that was a mirage: we never got the American dream: did u?~they were always dollar short and asking for more and the work place went out of business:except for the ones that are retooling for Latinos, the rest of us will not c any respect even for our citizenship: it will be dog eat dog to the nursing home for the baby boomers unless they wake up and c the whole world that they and builder bob went to war and the dead aren't coming back, the government pays a lot of money to have people from all over the world sign up for the chance to get free citizen ship for fighting wars that are being breed as i text u this now: so respect will be what you remember of it and be thank full you were part of Americas greatest generation cause the bills aren't going to be paid by the 1/5th of the populations wages that are=( underemployedemployed ) like in underachiever hits mark:after running out of money buying ammo to hit the mark;so much spin and so few a player:watch as the respect dwindles even more as the load is going south

Answer 7

In many cultures there are entire tenses and vocabularies used to address and show respect for elders. In many parts of the US, especially in the south, young people refer to all elders as "ma'am" (short for "madame") and "sir". In fact older people use those terms simply out of general respect and good manners.

Now, things are different. Students routinely talk back to and denigrate teachers. Children snap at their parents, who do nothing; then take that lack of respect to everyone they meet. It translates everywhere - not holding doors open, cutting in lines, road rage, general disrespect for everyone. A me-first attitude.

A lot of responders are saying, basically, age doesn't necessarily confer respect. I wonder how a kid or young adult gets to decide who of their elders is worthy of respect? I remember as a kid thinking an old neighbor was kind of weird. I once said something about "Earl" and how he was bizarre. My mom got angry and told me to always refer to him as "Mr. ***" She then told me how he survived the war in Slovakia when his mom stuck him in the chimney as the Nazi busted down their door. How he stifled his breathing as he heard the Nazis systematically execute his parents, 2 brothers, and 1 of his sisters for being Jews - one pistolshot after another. He immigrated to America, started in real estate, and became rich; but always gave thousands to charity in the name of his murdered family. And I thought he was just dumb.

I don't know. Maybe it's a sign of the times. I still like to call older people sir and ma'am. That's me.

Answer 8

I prefer to be addressed by my first name, not for vanity or insecurity of age. When I was very young, it was proper to address elders as mr. or mrs. Calling aunt or uncle is misleading.

Answer 9

I call my mom by her first name, but she didn't allow me to do that until I became an adult. It's disrespectful to do it as a child, and I think most parents who allow kids to do it are a little light on discipline; so that's not the only thing their kids get away with.

Answer 10

What is wrong with children being comfortable with the adults in their lives? I grew up in the eighties and my mother always insisted that my friends call her by her first name. Simply having been alive more years then someone else doesn't earn you a formal title. Respectfulness goes much deeper then how you specifically address another person. Kids have to be proper all day long at school, what's wrong with letting them be relaxed at home?