How do you ever get over a breakup when you feel that it's badly changed you? I am 32 and he was the first guy I ever let get that close to me. After nearly 2 years, he suddenly started to treat me like he was repelled by me -- like I was a nuisance or unappealing. It's destroyed my self esteem and confidence that men are decent at all. It's been 8 months and I do not feel closer to healing. Is it possible that I'm sensitive enough that I may never heal? I try to meet other men but that's just been disastrous. Advice please?
2007-01-27 20:13:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you need to work on your self-esteem before trying to meet anyone else. Do things that make you feel good about yourself - you'll get your self-esteem back. It may take time - but you need some time to yourself for now.
2007-01-27 20:16:47 · answer #1 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me that you just need a little more time. You said that it's been 8 monthes, but everyone deals with breakups differently. Especially since you were with this guy for 2 years and he was basically your first love. My best advice for you is to try your best to keep yourself busy--with work, school, or maybe doing something that you really like to do. I found that spending time with my family and close friends really helped, too. I know it's hard and it does take time, but you CAN get through this. The most important thing to remember, though, is for you to let out your feelings --if you feel that you need to grieve, then grieve. Don't bottle it up inside because that'll just make it worse!!
And as far as meeting new guys are concerned, don't rush into anything right away. When you ARE ready to start dating again, take it as slow as possible. If the guys you date are decent, they'll understand! And there ARE still decent guys out there. Not all of them are jerks, and you will meet the right one someday, so don't get discouraged!
I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this, but time does heal all wounds, as cliche` as that sounds. Good luck hon, and take care, okay?
2007-01-28 04:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand sooo much.
I had the same thing happen to me. I know how it feels to be in love with someone who just emotionally abuses you. You feel like no one ever is going to love you like that person does. And you feel so caught up with that person, that you don't know who you are.
I have been there. I really can say, I healed though self discovery and I went through therapy. I really grew from it and finding inner peace and healing from finding who I was.
Believe me it will get better. And remember, you need to love yourself first and once you find the love in yourself- don't settle for less tha what you think you deserve
2007-01-28 04:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your age of 32 could very well control the situation by reasoning., whereby you'll understand that it's not too sensitive to heal but a routine affair in human life.
2007-01-28 04:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by mkm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is easier said than done but believe me it is the only way I got past a very bad breakup.
I picked up the book Life Strategies by Dr. Phil and the one thing that made this a life changing situation for me was that Dr. Phil pointed out that I was ALLOWING my x to bring me down and until I decided to take back over my emotions and realize that I was never going to let anyone have that much control over me, I was a total basket case.
Really, as long as you are in the slumps about this, he is winning. You have allowed him to bring you down. Nobody can change this thought pattern except you. Take back control of your emotions and promise yourself that you will never allow anyone to have that much power of you again. I promise, it will be a life changing experience.
Everyone owes it to themselves to read that book. It saved my life...literally!
Good Luck
2007-01-28 04:25:05 · answer #5 · answered by Wrain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've felt that way MYSELF before. And the healing process takes a long time, I'm not gonna lie to you. But don't give up on men. There are a few of us good one's left. And though my experience..you don't find love....love finds YOU. Best of wishes, Ronijn
2007-01-28 04:18:35 · answer #6 · answered by Ronijn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give it time, men base their assumptions on appearance. When I put on a lot of weight men suddenly treated me like I was repulsive. Men like young girls but as they age, they suddenly lose interest. They are very visual creatures. This is not all men I am talking about though.
2007-01-28 04:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to put the blame on the Idiot. You have a lot to be thankful for. And a lot going for you. Try doing this: Listen to your Heart It sounds old-fashion. But it can keep you from being hurt. Your Heart, won't lie. it won't lead you wrong. And it'll always be there, to make you happy.God Bless You!
2007-01-28 04:21:17 · answer #8 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand completely... i too am a sloooooow healer or maybe a nonhealer..lol. anyway, for me the pain does slowly, very slowly ease up... i cant say it goes away but it does get a lot easier to bare after time goes by. a lot of time... oh and i am 40... yes i know, that probably didnt help a bit... my point is, youre not alone feelin like this...
2007-01-28 04:21:34 · answer #9 · answered by wv_country_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously had your heart set on him and he was a grave disappointment to you. You can heal if you realize that he was an a$$hole.
2007-01-28 04:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋