can someone be suicidal but not want to die?

Question

it's weird cause i think all the time about killing myself, and like whenever i see a subway train coming i want to jump in front of it, or if i'm on a tall building i want to jump off, and whenver i take a pill i want to swallow the whole bottle, and i could go on like that but i'll run out of space, but i think you get the point. but the weird part is that then i'll think that i'm sick totally irrationally, like this medication i was taking made me constipated and i was totally convinced that my intestines were going to fall out of my butt, and things like that that i know don't make sense but i'll still worry about them, but anyhow, i'll be completely terrified of dying, but how can i want to die but also be completely terrified of dying? it doesn't make any sense!

Answer 1

Perhaps it is living that you are really afraid of? Or, perhaps both? I once was, and it was because I'd been taught to believe untrue & scary things about both. The following articles can show you what I learned that brought me true peace of mind ...

Should You Be Afraid of Death? :
- What Is Your View of Death?
- A Closer Look at Some Myths About Death
- - Be Free From Fear
http://watchtower.org/e/20020601/article_01.htm

The Hereafter--Where Will It Be?:
- Earth Just a Testing Ground?
- Eternal Happiness---In Heaven or on Earth?
http://watchtower.org/e/20001001/article_01.htm

Life in a Peaceful New World
- How It Is Possible for You!
http://watchtower.org/library/t15/peaceful.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20041001/article_02.htm

How Can You Find Inner Peace? :
- The Search for Inner Peace
- "Happy Are those Conscious of Their Spiritual Need"
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2005/7/1/article_01.htm

http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm
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Answer 2

I see two issues here. One is the subject of soundness of mind, and the other is the subject of death wishes in people.

Soundness of mind. You can only think one thought at a time. Worry thoughts can be crowded out of the mind with positive phrases to think on. For the worrier, this has to be a disciplined mental exercise until it becomes natural. When a worry thought comes. remind yourself that worry is the sorriest prophecy of what really is going to happen. Worry never produces the reality the worry is worried about. Then replace it with a nice positive phrase or mantra. You will have to will to do this, but in time it will become natural. Some folks take the worry thought or bad thought and visualize a garbage can with a lid. They deposit the thought in the garbage can and put the lid on and focus on a positive thought. Only one thought can fit in there at a time. Make it a good one.

Death wish. Often because of bad stuff, some people have a secret death wish. That means that a tiny part of that person wants to die. The major part does not. They like to flirt close to death without actually killing themselves. Sometimes the flirtation with death is only in the imagination, and sometimes it is acted out in daring stunts, etc. The root cause I think is depression.

I think the major part of your problem is that your undisciplined mind allows those thoughts to play in your head unhindered. You can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can dang sure stop it from building a nest in your hair. Control your thoughts.

Answer 3

It makes perfect sense. What medication are you taking? Some medications can make the depression worse. Depression is a very hard thing to deal with, and most people that suffer from it do not want to die. They just feel so helpless and alone. You need to talk to your doctor about this and get some more help. A therapist could be a big help as well.

Answer 4

I think it's quite normal to think of things like that. I sometimes think those things too, but you have to make sure that you turn off those thinkings so that you won't get tempted to actually try them.
I heard that people who are suicidal actually do not want to die, but they merely try to get a bit of attention. Surround yourself with friends and family and count your blessings.
Being terrified of dying is also another normal thing. It's the fear of the unknown. If you know what is waiting for you at the other end of this life, then you won't be afraid of dying.

Answer 5

It makes sense. When I was a kid I felt like I just didn't want to go on living anymore, but at the same time it's instinctive to not want to die. You should talk to somebody who loves you about this. You should probably get counseling. If you die think about how much it would hurt others.

Answer 6

i am 'living' proof that someone can be suicidal and not want to die. :-). i've been on a roller coaster since october and i am sick of all my doctors. constant pain makes me think of death every day, however, there is no way i would end my life. i just need answers. or at least some serious pain killers.

i would recommend seeing a therapist, he/she might be able to help you figure out why you want to die, yet are afraid of it... i'm not talking about a psychiatrist-i mean a therapist. just someone to talk to. Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Of course...
We are all born with natural instinct to live...

like we cannot drown outselves in a bathtub...

But suicidal thoughts can really turn nasty..and by what you wrote it feels like you are not really facing the reality....

Its natural to be confused with those things...just take everything in a calm matter..and when you think about killing yourself..
just think why?

p.s go see a doctor;;

Answer 8

I wish I knew what to say. Do you think that you may just be frustrated and you just don't want to do it anymore. But you may also want to live, just not like you are living now. Please talk to some one. Maybe he or she can help you sort out your feelings. When we become overwhelmed, sometime we can't do it on our own. You have suicidal thoughts and thank God you haven't acted on them. Seek advice from someone whom you trust to lead you in the right direction. You might need change.

Answer 9

Call the Mental Health Crisis line in your area and talk to someone. This could not be suicidal and you don't want to kill yourself. A real Suicidal person will take action in trying to harm themselves.

Answer 10

i do often have such thoughts too,though they were much more before.anyway,after one attempt,i realized also that we won't get out of it.even if we hide for a while,we'll brought back here to accomplish our mission(everyone has it),to learn our lesson.if we don't do it now ,we'll have to o it later on.so we'd better go on here and now.what's more,i think you're longing for attention and love and just trying to attract some more of these.am i wrong?i've often thought how pleased i'll feel watching others feel sorry for me when i'm death...solack of care and affection is hat has made me act like this.but its all up to me,i know.so please ,get rid of all those depressive thoughts.find something to love.