ok so me and this guy dated about 2 years ago for like 4 months we were never in a relationship or anything but we dated it didnt work out cuz timing was wrong for both of us but every other thing was right. After it was over I had the hardest time trying to move on and get over him, it had never been so hard esp. with a guy I wasnt even in a relationship with. A month or two later I still hadnt moved on but we had stopped talking, then about 2 months afterwards I try dating another guy in the hopes that he will help me get over the other one but that's when this guy comes back into my life and he starts hanging out with me and my bf all the time and by that point I realzied I was in love with him and it only got worse I could just never get over him it was impossible and the bf didnt help me get over him at all then finally me and my bf brake up but he starts seeing some other girl (by this point we are very good platonic friends) I never interfere or let him know how I feel because I
2007-01-27 19:51:34 · 14 answers · asked by paperback_writer909 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
didnt want to weird him out or mess up our friendship when I knew he probably didnt feel the same way. Anyway he brakes up with this girl but we live in different cities although we still see each other on occassion and I will be moving to his city in a few months. Well this winter one night when we were hanging out he was a little tipsy but not drunk he started kissing me and we ended up sleeping together. He is only the 2nd person I've slept with as I will only sleep with people Im in love with and he has stong morals and values and that whole thing seemed out of character and I am his 4th. Anyway Im confused about the whole situation the next morning but I leave on very pleasant terms I tell my friend what happened as I have told this friend about literally everything that has to do with me and this guy for the past 2 years. This friend goes and tells him how I've felt about him and he had no idea he didnt talk to me for a while but I finally got the courage to call him and I saw
2007-01-27 19:51:55 · update #1
him at this party and apparently he came cuz he knew I was gonna be there. anyway we both pretended like nothing happened cuz he doesnt know I know he knows but Im still in love with him and I still want to be his friend but I really want to talk about this whole thing with him but I dont want to weird him out and I'm visiting his city in a week what should I do? should I call him and just try to hang out?? or should I let him know how I feel? or do you think it'll make him uncomfortable cuz I dont want to lose him in my life even if it means nothing romantic ever and also dont tell me to get over it cuz I have been trying for the past 2 years and no luck yet or if you do PLEASE tell me how cuz no luck yet. I would literally do anything for this guy and have slpent so many sleepless nights over the past 2 years and it just hurts and I dont know what to do
2007-01-27 19:53:36 · update #2
You need to talk about it with him. Firstly, it's distracting you. And two years isn't healthy for someone to be stressing about something. Secondly, it seems like you're not talking to him about it because it's gonna be uncomfortable for you. Third, There are gonna be uncomfortable situations in life and you can't just close your eyes and hope they go your way. You're gonna have to cope. I can't make you talk to him, but it's probably a better idea than just stuffing it for several more years. Good luck!
2007-01-27 19:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by blueJay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, calm down. Take a breath. All of us with small children have been there. Kids that age DO drive you nuts! My youngest is four and I'm just now feeling back to my old self! You need to do two things. First, find some way to get a break from the kids. A grandparent, a friend, the nice lady down the street.....anyone! One thing that helped me when my kids were very young was hiring a pre-teen mothers helper. She would come over, play with the kids while I got some work done or took a nap or read a book. Kids that age love little kids and aren't as expensive as a baby-sitter. A couple of bucks an hour will do. Then, as she gets older, you have a trusted babysitter for when you need to leave the house. She'll know you, your kids, your routine. It's great! The second thing you need to do is to get your house in order. Sit down, by yourself first, and write down your perfect day. Make it like a schedule, what you'll do each our of the day. Make it a list of how you WISH your day would go. Next, sit down with your husband and explain what you're going through and what he MUST do to help. Some of these things might be temporary. The good thing about kids is that they DO get older and more self sufficient. As him how he wants his day to be as well and both of you work the details out. Make a plan to get out if his abusive behaviour doesn't change. Let him know as well. Let him know that you refuse to put up with him acting like another child! If he seems responsive than work with him, if he doesn't, start planning to leave him. Period. Life can really be great but it's about how you make it happen day to day. If you don't have a supportive partner, doing it without him might be easier. Suicide isn't an option at this point. Think of your kids. Do you want to leave and let HIM raise them? I always say this....I'd rather be happy living in a shack than miserable in a mansion....think about that. If your life is miserable, you are the only person that will change it. Make your decision and go from there. Good luck!
2016-03-29 06:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heidi,
I read your story and think you should ask guy #2 (I think) how he feels and how far he wants your friendship to go/relationshipwise and if he ever wants it to be more than what it is now. Sadly it is not easy to get over someone you have been with for 2 years. I have had girlfriends, some just friends that i never even kissed, that i have had feelings for. I recently met someone and I feel she is special. We have only known eachother for 8 days. I am going to take it slow, due to the fact my last relationship went sour when it was revealed to me by the woman that she wants someone who is in a position to buy a house(having saved that kind of money) and that has what she calls, a "professional career." I had been in the US Coast Guard, but now am finished with that and am returning to college. Yes, I am 36 and do not have that career in high gear at this time. But, to return to your question...I know what it is like, so I think, to be in love with someone. There are two choices. One is to tell the man how you feel and the other is to ask him how he feels. It has to be your choosing. My advice is to tell the man how you feel, because tomorrow may be too late as you have mentioned he has dated other women since you met him. If he does not feel the same way now, he may never feel the same way you do about him, ever. The old saying, "Why wait until tomorrow to do something when you can do it today?", rings true here. Sure, you do not want to scare him off, but why would that be if he feels the same. Sadly it may be time to move on or relax on the "looking" for the right one. God is the only One that can and will reveal to us the other He has chose for us. I do believe you are a woman of God and that is why I am writing this part. I hope this helps you make your decision...what is here today may be gone tomorrow.
2007-01-27 20:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by maverickisback2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you go see him in his city, just go hang out. You can casually bring up what happened between you two. If you sense he's uncomfortable, change the subject. It's kind of tricky because you don't want to weird him out but you want to know at the same time. Personally, I'd just come out and ask him. You've already slept together so I wouldn't get hung up over being out of line if you simply ask him what his feelings for you are. It's a legit question. I'm a firm believer and asking the questions I want to know. If you freak him out, so be it. You've been going on like this for 2 years. It's time for you to know if you should move on or if you have a shot with this guy.
Also, if he went to a party just because he knew you'd be there, that's a really really good sign! He obviously has some feelings for you or he wouldn't have gone. Good luck!
2007-01-27 20:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need is closure to this and then you can move on. You've worried about this so long that you've confused yourself over it. It's probably not going to get any better until you just sit down with him and explain to him what this has done to you and how you feel. And maybe your to afraid to talk to him because your afraid of him rejecting you. Not saying he will because you never know he may feel the same as you but your never going to know until you talk to him. If he does tell you he just wants to be friends then you need to be prepared that he may also say he wants to spend some time away from you too. As much as that may hurt you'll have to give it to him. Then maybe you two can have a friendship. But I wouldn't think it would be a good idea to start it off right away. You don't want to meet someone else and them be the rebound guy, no more then you would want to be their rebound girl. So just tell him but tell him , if you can , face to face. At least then you can see his expression and body language
and that can tell you alot. You just need some closure to this and then you can move on.
2007-01-27 20:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel so bad for cuz when u love somone that much it's nearly impossible to get over unless u have a reason to hate him. i won't tell u to get over it cuz i have no idea how!
i would tell u to call him and see how he reacts, if he's happy - not nervous at all - to hear your voice than tell him you'd like to go out whe u get there and that there is something u want to talk to him about. now, if he freaks out on you than just tell him "i just need advice about..." and find some kind of stupid thing u need advice about and then he'll calm down and be glad to meet u, then u know that you'll just have to swalo your feelings for the rest of your life and try to find someone else and when you find the right guy he'll take over that love feeling and you'll still have this guy in your life.
he might actully like u back too, but guys have a much harder time speaking their feelings when they r unsure of the girls point of view. and maybe the fact that someone told him how u feel might be a good thing since he's had pleanty of time to digest it and maybe start feeling something towards u too.
wow! good luck. this doesn't sound like you'll be having an easy time but i hope for your sake he love u too cuz u sound like the perfect girl friend - no preasure, so caring, knows when to back off etc
2007-01-27 20:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing under any condition is to let him know how you feel. The best thing to do is to keep in mind his happiness and yours.. Lets say his name is Jack.. so you go like this:
Jack, you have all the right to be happy and thus I know you must choose whatever is right for you, but there is something I though I shud share with you because its important. Then tell him how you feel.. NO DRAMA PLEASE.. keep it simple..
Then just end it by saying, I would hate to see you getting involved in this just because thats what I want, Do what you think is right for you but I had to tell you that you mean a lot to me...
Hope this helps..Remember we never regret the things we did, we regret the ones we never did...
2007-01-27 20:00:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OOOOOOOH MAAAANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have the making of something that could be one of the most romantic situations that you could ever encounter.
You see, as a guy, I know how it is, and I guarantee he likes you, but he isn't sure whether it will ruin your friendship or he is too shy to bring it up.
Next time you see him, you walk up to him, and when you are alone, you look at him in his eyes and you tell him that you love him and you have loved him for a LOONG time and have never had the courage to say anything about it. I promise the kiss you have afterwards will be the most intense, loving, passionate kiss you will ever have in your life!! GOD how i envy situations like the one you are going to have. I tell you, it is gonna be HOT!!!!
2007-01-27 19:59:33 · answer #8 · answered by holyitsacar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow..i think i would just hang out and maybe if when timing is right , bring it up to him and maybe dont go that far into your feelings just say something like...u know i really like the way u do this or that...i think a guy knows when u like him huhor maybe just tell him u like him...love???that might be a lil scary. my friend just professed his love to me and it was never gonna happen and i told him so, he called more and more....i avoided him and now he doesnt even get to be my friend. this guy even started crying...freaked me out
2007-01-27 20:02:49 · answer #9 · answered by becky l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to the bookstore and buy, "The Rules", because girl, you sound too desperate and needy and you will definitely scare the guy off. The book will really do wonders for you if you follow the "Rules">
2007-01-27 19:59:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋