have you been/know someone who has been raped?

Question

how did you recover from it. also, how did you tell liek a friend or anyone..? i wan to alk to one of my good friends, but im also scred that she will tell her boyfriend about it, and our other good friends. i need some one to talk to , but i dont have anywhere to turn. plus, i dont want to just wine about it...i want to, but i dont want to feel liek a bit*h...any sugestions please...?

why does it even affect me at all...liek why cant i just accept that he violated me and that i cant change that?

i talked to that friend :]

Answer 1

Hi...

You should go talk to your doctor and let him/her check you. This is important. Your rapist could have hurt your vagina, could have given you an STD, or could have gotten you pregnant.

Rape is not something to hide or be embarressed about. It is not your fault and the person who did it to you should be punished. He violated your body. If you can't talk to your parents and don't want to go to the police, at least call the National Sexual Assault Hotline... (it is a toll-free number so it won't charge you money to call.) They can give you good advice and it's confidential. You don't have to give your name or any personal information if you don't want to.

1-800-656-HOPE.... or 1-800-656-4673

Here is the website for you to check out if you don't want to call directly...

http://www.rainn.org/programs/online-hotline/index.html

T.

Answer 2

Yes, I was when I was 19 yrs old in the Army. I didn't tell anyone because I felt like it was my fault. So instead I started drinking and drank for years until I decided I didn't want to be miserable anymore. So years later I went to counseling and it helped me a great deal. I shared it with my close friends and finally my mother. My mother didn't know how to deal with it so she just listened. If I were you I would go ahead and talk to a friend that you can trust to keep it private. I would also go to the police station and file a report even if it has been awhile. That way if in the future this person bugs you again you have a police report.

There are support groups out there and there is counseling. Counseling saved my life. I am sober now, I don't drink anymore. I finished college and now I am an addictions therapist. I finally took back control of my life and you can too.

Answer 3

First of all, speaking up about rape does NOT make you a "bit*h." In fact, it makes you a VERY strong and brave woman who wants to heal and be understood.

It looks like several people have already given you a lot of helpful suggestions, but I'm going to have to second calling RAINN. RAINN is the "Rape Abuse & Incest National Network," and they've been able to talk to and help so many survivors like yourself. They now have a new feature on their website where you can chat with a real, live person. Go to http://www.rainn.org. Or call them at 1-800- 656-HOPE. Call them ANY time of day; whenever you're ready. This would be a good first step. They can help you find counseling in your own area, so you can continue to get help.

As for calling the police, that's up to you. You can file a report and then later decide whether or not this is something you can or WANT to take to court. Statistics say one in six women are victims of sexual assault....and that's ONLY what's been reported. It's up to you. Rapists should be prosecuted and locked up for their crimes to prevent future sexual assaults.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. PLEASE give RAINN a call.

Answer 4

yes and i know a few people its happened to, its more common then most people realise and telling people can seem the hardest thing. you can do it by writing it down, that's how i find easy because its less personnel and once its out in the open its more easy to start to talk about.
i know it feels like wining but its not and you are entitled to feel and express your feelings and those who care about you will want to listen and comfort you. you did not deserve what happened to you and none of it was your fault, it is your right to get the help and support you need.
if you don't get help you will never be free of this terrible burden, it takes a long time to get over rape but it can be done or at least be made easier to live with.
you can start even by telling a stranger by contacting somewhere like the rape crisis, they are all trained proffesionals and understanding, easy to talk to, usually because they have gone through the same thing.
or do what i said by telling a friend you trust by first writing it down, if its a good friend then she wont tell her boyfriend.

good luck

Answer 5

If your friend is a good friend that you can trust and you will feel comfortable talking to her then do it.

My sister got raped a few years ago and kept it to herself for a while before telling me and my mum. She was drugged so couldnt remember what happened to her but she did go to the police. The guy was caught and sentenced but this didnt make her feel any better.

3 years later she discovered she has cancer and in the end went to a counsellor who also spoke about the rape with her and now she has moved on, she will never forget it but she doesnt feel the same way she did.

Dont suffer alone.

Answer 6

Yes me many years ago, it affected me for a while but I had to move on as I had a young family, I got the Police involved immediately and then councilling which was a great help to me. If you let this bring you down you have let the rapist win, good luck with whatever you choose. Go to the Police they will guide you in the right direction and get you all the help you need.

Answer 7

first of all talk to your mom or a aunt or sister a family member your close to will be best. then go to the police. if you don't this beast that did this will do it to someone else!!
there is no quick fix way of getting over a traumatic time like this you just have to take one day at a time and remember IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!
this person is sick and needs help!
don't lock yourself away victim support will be able to put you in touch with a rape support group have counselling don't bottle up any emotions if you want to cry cry if you want to shout shout!
time heals all just take it day by day and don't let this monster get away with it don't let him ruin your life! get justice!
i hope you will get through this and i hope you will get all the support you deserve good luck honey stay strong! xx

Answer 8

i was raped once....i was young, about 13. It was the worst feeling in the world. I didnt want to tell anyone because i was embarassed and didnt want anyone to think differently of me. After all that happened and i recovered i started to date again...unfortunately, i starting dating a *** hole. When i tried to finally talk to someone about it, he told me that it never happened that way, and i wanted it. I never talked to anyone about it ever again. i figured there was no use trying to prove anything to him and i just tried to put it all behind me until eventually i couldnt take it any more and decided to go to counceling. I realize now that it wasnt my fault and i would get through it. I think the best thing for you to do is either see a therapist or talk to someone who you trust more than anyone in the world.

Remember:
The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.

you'll get through this, i promise!

Answer 9

Please go to the police and report him, they will understand and they will be kind, I was 7 year old when it happened to me but in time i did get over it, I had to keep telling myself it wasn't my fault and there was nothing i could have done to stop him, as for your friend if she is a friend she will keep what you tell her in confidant to herself, but you do need to tell someone keeping it quiet wont do you any good in the long run, please tell someone you know you can trust, i also take it from the way you type you are young if so can you tell a teacher at school.

Answer 10

I think most folk have got it right, go to the police, ask to speak to a police rape councillor, tell her your story, she will advise on whether its too late to prosecute and give you other advise, dont just rush in and demand charges be brought against whoever!
Then you are half way there, youve told some one who should be independant , youve got it off your chest , good luck!