Why does it seem like my bf is cheating?

Question

I wake up early in the morning and see him chating with someone and when I ask him who he is talking to he says a friend and I then ask him what is that friends name and he gets all upset and he then disconnects the computer from my end. Is he cheating or am I just assuming things?

Answer 1

Ahhh...deja vu.. i also experienced that with my ex. We women are lucky to have sensitive intuitions, (sometimes we just go overboard...)

Why do men lie? There are many reasons. The lie because it’s in their blood, because they think that the truth will hurt, because they don’t think it’s necessary to tell the whole thing with the details, because they want to seem better than they are, because they want to make women love them, because they are sure it’ll be better for everybody and so on. After all “why does he lie” – is not a question of that big importance. But a woman should become worried if a man starts to tell the truth. This usually means that something’s going wrong. A woman should find out the reasons for that sudden sincerity to know what to do.


When we love we are used not to see the flows of our partner or not to show that we see them. If fact those flows mean very little when there’s love in the relationships. But when it’s gone all those unpleasant details in the character, appearance or behavior start to annoy us tremendously especially because they have become so obvious after a long period of not noticing them. That’s when men start pointing on the defaults of their women in the most rude and unpleasant way. If a man doesn’t love a woman anymore he doesn’t care whether his words hurt, if he doesn’t like something he speaks about it as it is just because he can’t any reasons to stay silent or to lie about it anymore. For any woman it’s better to leave because any relationships are supposed to bring care and attention but not permanent criticism and discomfort. You may of course stay, swallow your pride, watch your self-confidence fading away, feel yourself miserable and etc. But ask yourself is that really what you want?


But of course a woman isn’t meant to quit any relationships after a couple of critical notices in her address. The reasons why her man speaks the unpleasant truth can be different. Maybe he’s simply fed up with one of her very annoying habits. He loves her and he tried not to pay attention to that feature or habit, but he’s a human being and his patience isn’t eternal. So if he burst out once that doesn’t mean that will repeat over and over again. Probably he’s already apologized a million times and said that he never wanted to hurt her. Well in this case a woman should start looking closer at herself if she doesn’t want that explosion if truth to repeat.

Neither relationships are possible without compromises. And can love make us better if we don’t want to collaborate with it?

Sometimes he seems to love and to care but also he keeps telling those unpleasant things again and again. A man may compare his girlfriend with other women and every other woman is always better than his one. He may criticize her even in public. Probably he even like it. That all means only one thing – a man doesn’t respect that woman, because when we respect someone we respect even his or her week points. And still sometimes we love the people we don’t respect. So it’s up to a woman to decide whether it’s OK for her always to play a role of such a poor-thing which is loved but treated as nothing. She may try to talk to her man, explain to him that it hurts her to hear all that truth and that usually people show love in a little different way. Maybe she should do something to gain his respect of cause it these relationships mean much for her.


Sometimes a man tells the truth about himself from the very start to show how independent and indifferent he is, to let a woman know that he doesn’t care much not about her, not about any other woman, probably not about anyone but himself at all. Do you really want someone who’s claiming he will never need you? If you love such an independent guy you of cause may try to change his mind by conceiving him that you are the one of kind but see that there’s not much respect and mutual understanding in such relationships from the beginning.


Another kind of man loving truth so very much is only a provocateur in fact. He talks much about his past, about the incredible women he had, about his sexual fantasies the main hero of which is not his girlfriend. Also he compare her with all the women around and it always turn out by he’s words that she’s almost nothing compared with her. A girl should understand that he’s only trying to tease her and to watch her reaction. She may stay imperturbable and careless about all these talk or even ask him: “If they are so good than what are you still doing here?”. And we’ll work. But at the same time she should ask herself the same question.


One more case when a man tells the truth is when he doesn’t know what to do with that truth. For example, he’s cheater on his girlfriend and told her about it because he’s too weak-willed to decide what to do. He wants his girl to think about it instead of himself.


We all were taught that it’s wrong to lie. So the truth is good, but not always. Sometimes it’s better not to say or hear a thing. Everyone is free to decide how much truth in his or her life one is able to bare.

Answer 2

I would say it's a possibility, but not the only one. It's also quite possible he's talking to someone you wouldn't approve of, so he keeps if from you. For instance, maybe it's an old partner that he has remained friends with, and since you might not like that, it's easier to keep it from you. That would still be bad, but less hurtful than cheating. Suspicious behaver is not always what it seems. On the other hand, he may very well be cheating. Before you take action, however, I would advise that you sit down and talk with him about it. Or consider what other behaviors are being displayed. If he is in fact cheating, I would suspect there are other signs. Hope this helps.

And some people will say that talking to an ex is not okay, but I have a boyfriend and I talk to my exes a lot. We are 100% just friends. When I found love with my guy now, I didn't need to hang on to past feelings for others. I don't hide it, but some people find it easier to hide things than deal with the issues/fights that are a result of full-disclosure.

Answer 3

You do have every right to know who he is talking to. But the main question is do you trust him? If you do then you have no reason to think he is cheating on you but if you have the slightest doubt and really think he is then you need to re think your relationship. A relationship is based on trust but if you are unsure find out the truth be true and tell him how you feel about him getting upset. let him know that you love him and just want the truth! Good luck

Answer 4

Probably not cheating, but he could be still talking to an ex and doesn't want to to know. Or, he really could have another girlfriend and wants to keep you two seperate.

Tell him that you have been hurt in the past, and you do not want and will not allow it to happen again.

If you still don't trust his answers, or find any evidence, move on.

It is possible you are being paranoid, but healthy couples trust each other and do not hide things. That is lacking here.

Answer 5

Sounds fishy. I've done the same thing when I was talking to someone that I was flirting with or thinking I might like. He's obviously doing one of those things if he's being secretive. Can't say that's he's cheating but he is talking to someone who he wants to hide from you which is never a good sign.

Answer 6

It sounds like he's hiding something. It doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating on you, but be sure to tell him how it makes you feel. If it's just a friend he'll tell you the name, etc. to put your mind at ease. If it is more than a friend he'll continue to fight for secrecy. Be prepared for him to rebuttal with comments like " if you love me you would just trust me".

Answer 7

Well - he does seem suspect. Typically, if your gut is telling you something is wrong - you should trust that. I can't really say one way or the other if he's cheating though - you just need to keep your eyes open.

Answer 8

It doesn't sound good. You should just straight out ask him why he feels like this chatting is something that he feels that he has to hide from you. If he gets mad and won't talk about it, that will pretty much give you your answer.

Answer 9

give him the benefit of the doubt. it could be a chick friend that he has that he doesn't want you to know about becuase he knows you'll get mad - i've done it before and i've never even THOUGHT about cheating on a gf, but i didn't want to get things going crazy with her, 'cause i knew she'd flip out (like you are apparently).

Answer 10

sounds a little suspicious to me. you can usually tell when someone is hiding something because they get all upset and defensive when you ask them something they don't want you to know. you should find out what hes up to before he breaks your heart. good luck :)

Answer 11

Cheating !