My boyfriend of nine years is off on a roadtrip for the weekend with his bestest friend of six months. She is a lesbian (though currently single), which is supposed to make this all okay. He had to go with her because she had no one else to accompany her and it was a long trip, plus her mother was asking when she was going to bring him to visit (I'm so glad not a single one of them ever considered that he has a GIRLFRIEND who might have problem with this). He asked me point blank for my permission. I told him I wouldn't stop him-- because I can't control him-- but it really bugs me that he put me in this position. Anyhow, poll: would anyone be okay under any circumstances with their boyfriend going off with another girl like this?
2007-01-27 19:15:41 · 13 answers · asked by pandoras_beguiling_little_box 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The thing is, it's not a trust issue as in I think they're going to do something on the trip (would certainly would already be doing it if they were). It's that this trip itself-- going off over a long distance by themselves for two days to *meet her family*-- crosses some sort of line of appropriateness. And there are other things along with this-- like him going over to her place almost every day of the week. And yes, I'm sure she's a lesbian. He, on the other hand, is not gay.
2007-01-27 19:30:49 · update #1
Ack. I just got a phone message from him. They're on their way back, and they're getting in late, and he thinks he's gonna be so tired from the drive that he's gonna have to crash at her place. That's it, I'm drawing the line, lest this open the door for him crashing over there on a regular basis. Yep, definitely too much for me.
2007-01-28 09:37:48 · update #2
Tell him how you feel. He will know what to do next time. But it also seems you need to be able to trust him. After 9 years, is there a reason to be concerned? If something happens, then it does. He has a choice in the matter - as you said, you can't control him. If that happens, then you can decide if you really want to be with someone you can't trust.
2007-01-27 19:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
inspite of what you've achieved interior the previous, you go with to do what's comfortable for you presently. in case you imagine you're ok attempting issues with yet another woman then verify you communicate about it along with your boyfriend huge and cover all questions and concerns formerly. If both of you at the on the spot are not dedicated and trusting then it will be ability for disaster. yet when your relationship is sweet and also you stay open and straightforward it may exercising consultation. attempting new issues would properly be a good component. both way verbal change is standard. believe your instincts and don't be afraid to communicate up and say what's on your ideas and what you're feeling. in case you sense like this can be a foul concept, then tell him. If he can't appreciate that then some thing isn't precise.
2016-10-16 05:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i wouldnt be comfortable with it. But you were right when u said that you cant control him. You just need to trust him and her being a "lesbian" (are you sure thats the 100% truth?) should make it even a little bit better in ur head. But the good news is if hes been with u for 9 years hes probably pretty committed and wouldnt do anything with her or any other woman.
2007-01-27 19:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by michakitty87 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
never. and it sounds abnormal that he said yes to another woman and asked about your permission. so if smth happens between them u will be to blame, he will always have an excuse like :so why did u let me to go on the first place? if i were in this situation i would tell him go, and never come back. he is not a good man anyway, no normal man in his sober mind would do such a thing. lesbiaqn or no lesbian she is a woman.
2007-01-27 19:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULDNT BECAUSE
1- SHE IS STILL A FEMALE
2- SHE COULD BE BI
3- WHY DIDNT HE INVITE YOU? ESPECIALLY BEING HIM FOR 9 YRS
4- WHY WOULD HE GO ON A ROAD TRIP WITH SOMEONE HE ONLY NEW FOR 6 MONTHS
BUT THEN ON THE OTHER HAND YOU HAVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR NINE YEARS SO YOU SHOULD TRUST HIM AND IT IS ONLY FOR THE WEEKEND
2007-01-27 19:24:52 · answer #5 · answered by Motivation.Inspiration 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i trust my husband. i have no reason not to.
my best friend is gay, and my hubby trusts me totally. if a trip came up, i would clear it with him first, but there would be no problem.
the main thing is: do you trust him?
wait a second...9 years of just dating? he may be a committment-phobic person. why aren't you married?
2007-01-27 19:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way & the mother is waiting to meet him too?I dont think she is really a lesbian.
2007-01-27 19:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he loves me and care about my feelings, i never let him go with other girl, he spend weekend with her, instead to spend with me... i can tell him exactly what i feel... do u believe he just going trip or what, no touching no kissing are u sure.. but i am not sure...
tell him i can't handle that, if u want me just be with me, and i will spend the weekend with u.. dear be aware u can control him if u are right.. good luck
2007-01-27 19:23:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is why are you dating him for nine years instead of being married.
Your relationship is definitely wierd.
2007-01-27 19:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope even if she is a lesbian
2007-01-27 19:20:20 · answer #10 · answered by Waythere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋