ok, i have come to a conclusion that "true love" is a lie. All of it is a myth. Please do not ask me to explain because i will go on 4ever. I do not plan to get married ever. I decide not to have any kids because i do not wanna overpopulated an already over populated planet.... from there, what should i do with females now??? do i:
live life by the "3 F's" - Find, F**k, and Forget
or
Find a girl who would just wanna live together but without a serious commitment
2007-01-27 18:47:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
for the record, I NEVER GOT BURNED BY ANYONE. It is just really difficult to believe the will be only "one" person in your life u will truly love and i have my reasons
2007-01-27 19:07:00 · update #1
Hi San Jose...
I'm sorry that things have not worked out for you where love is concerned. My track record wasn't so good either. But, when I stopped looking for love was when I found it.
About four years ago, I was in the exact place you are. How bad? I had just ended my THIRD engagement and swore off everything from love to marriage (hey, three strikes and your out... right?). I just couldn't find a good guy anywhere. So, I decided that I would have a good time and met new people, on a friendship only basis. It was time for me to live my life for me. No more catering to my partners needs, no more having to deal with the drama of a relationship, or the heartbreak of the breakup.
This worked out great. I was free, I was happy, I learned to love myself.
Then one day, my best friend (a guy) told me he was in love with me and wanted to pursue a more meaningful relationship. Less than a year later, we were married. It has been wonderful since.
Yes, I married my best friend.... Did it ruin our friendship? No, not at all.
See, we tend to meet someone new, ask them on a date, fall in love, move in together, get engaged and get married. Many times, the person you met doesn't come to know the real you until you are in an advanced stage of a relationship. In the beginning stages, you tend spend your time trying to keep on some mask of who you think that other person wants you to be. In the end, the real person you are (and who your partner is) shows through and one day you both look at each other in resentment and wonder... "Who the hell are you?"
Friendship is different. Friendship you don't need to fake. You don't need to impress your friends. Friends know your deepest darkest secrets and still love you. Friends will see you at your worst and still think your great... (even after that one time when you drank to much and threw up all over yourself.)
So when my best friend asked me to marry him, he knew who I was. He had seem me without makeup, running around my messy house in my old ripped sweatpants and tee-shirt... he had fed me chickensoup when I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed. He had seen me at my best and my worse. He knew my quirks. He knew what made me happy and what pissed me off. He knew my hopes and dreams, my strengths and weaknesses, my good and my bad... and still wanted me. That's love...
So my advice? Don't live by the three "F's"... Don't find a girl to move in with... just go out and live your life. Meet new people, have a good time, take up something like ballroom dancing or join a poetry group, whatever. Do what makes you happy and stop looking for love. Let love find you.
Best Wishes...
T.
2007-01-27 19:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by Theophania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw...you've been burned. Been there. The only flaw in your plan is that you're going to use people and throw them away. You came to this conclusion because someone hurt you. Don't make the world worse and do the same things that made you think true love is a lie. You can live how you want to and still not hurt anyone. Just be upfront & honest from the get go.
I actually agree with you 100%. I don't believe in marriage (for myself) and I don't want to have kids. Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to.
Oh, and not may girls want the no commitment/just live together kind of thing. You're already going against your plan. lol Keep your personal space and keep your sanity.
2007-01-28 02:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've been burned and it is normal to feel like love is just a falsehood. However, as time goes by, that feeling will probably change. I really don't like the 3 F's, but, if you find someone that is ok with that lifestyle, that maybe something you need to do until you are ready to find someone that you can love and respect. Good luck
2007-01-28 02:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
imagine wen your 85 and your out there still doing the three "f's" lol not a good look huh!!!
The 3 "f;s" are fine now - but i mean even tho you dun wanna get married or have kids - there could be someone out there who thinks exactly the same way as you!! And who says that you cant live together and be happy - just not married or with kids???
2007-01-28 02:53:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take some time to get some perspective thats not clouded by what ever happened to make you feel the way you do. Take some time to yourself. Later, then think about women. But not now.
2007-01-28 02:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well living with someone is a serious commitment ~ but not everyone believes in marriage and having kids either, I know lots of other girls like that (me one of them) its just easier that way, but it depends on what you really want - do the 3f's or do you want someone by your side to be there for you?
2007-01-28 02:52:20 · answer #6 · answered by teresawol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were u, i would find a girl tht can help change view of luv, the 3 F's will make people around u suffer, ur second option is kinda stupid
2007-01-28 02:51:13 · answer #7 · answered by blah 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is only 1 out there for you,,you just havent met her yet.
2007-01-28 02:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi. I think there is no conclusion about love. You know it exists. But its more complicated than we think it is. Take as it is.
2007-01-28 02:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by dbatz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
live life by the "3 F's" - Find, F**k, and Forget
my kinda man..
haha. did u burned bad by a girl b4???
2007-01-28 02:51:37 · answer #10 · answered by iheartandylots 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋