I was invited to a swingers club I'm debating rather I should go or not... anyone ever been? How was your experience? Would you go again?
2007-01-27 18:27:50 · 10 answers · asked by fefe917 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It depends on whether or not you are a single girl, or you've been invited by a single guy, or your are married or in an otherwise committed relationship.
First, swinger clubs are not just a bunch of 40 - 55 year old fat people like the respondent said above. Either he's never been to one or he went to a geriatrics nudist convention. Swingers run the gamut of life. Who is a swinger? Go to the grocery store and you'll see. They are everyday people. Some you'll be more attracted to than others, just like in your everyday life. One thing swingers seem to be on the whole, is more accepting and less critical of others. They don't make fun of someone for being too skinny, too fat, breasts not being the size they prefer, etc. Definitely not like the guy above who posted that comment. He would not fit in in the swinger lifestyle. But, if he was in it at all he probably got into it thinking it was what he saw in porn, all blonde Pam Anderson look-alike porn actresses waiting to get it on with any guy with a hard dick. He's probably disappointed that swingers are real people, not porn actresses and actors. Or he was the stereotypical single male and got rejected by every couple he met and thus is disgruntled.
Single girl scenario: If you are a single girl you will find that most swinger clubs are very open to single women attending. Single women are in high demand with couples for threesomes. Single guys are usually not allowed except on certain nights because of the bad reputation many single guys have made for themselves. Many single guys are just lecherous and rude and think that swingers are just the costars in the little porn movie running through their head. They don't treat people with the respect they would anyone outside the club. They get out of hand and therefore their attendance is very regulated.
Single girl going with a single guy: This scenario is seen quite often when the single guy above is looking for another angle to get into the club... if he takes a woman with him he is now a "couple" and can get through the door. Of course, he's not interested in the woman he took with him, just getting in so he can get at all the women in the club. Unless you know the guy well, I'd stay away from this type.
Going as a married or otherwise committed couple, or as the guest of a couple: This is the best scenario. We have several single women friends that love going to swinger clubs and parties with us because they are more open-minded than many here on Yahoo! Answers and don't see fulfilling their sexual fantasies with couples as any different than casual sex with a single guy they meet at a club. Many don't even have sex there, they just love the more open attitude of the people there and they can go have have fun without constantly being groped and hit-on by drunk single guys at a regular night club. Contrary to common belief, swingers on the whole are more polite than the general public when it comes to sexual advances. One big rule in the lifestyle is "no means no" and if someone doesn't want to play, they don't push it like single guys do at a dance club.
As a couple, yes, you have to be very secure in yourself, your partner, and your relationship. You have to have the mindset that sex is sex and love is love. And that sex with someone you love and sex with someone you don't is two different things. Sex with someone you love is "making love" where sex with someone you don't is merely healthy, erotic exercise. If you can separate the two and you are not the jealous type you may have fun.
The clubs are much like any night club with the exception that there is both public and private areas for people to go and have sex.
Another misconception is the spread of VD's. Swingers on the whole, practice safe sex much, much more that the general population. Condom use is almost the written in stone rule in the lifestyle. You can't say that for many outside the lifestyle though. I'm sure you've had guys try to convince you not to use a condom because they can't feel anything... they hate them... etc. You won't hear that from a swinger. The lifestyle is supposed to be fun. Diseases aren't fun.
I'd say, go and check-out the scene. You don't have to do anything, nobody will make you or pressure you to. Go to a club with good reviews, too. Yeah, just like a regular night club or dance club, you can go to some pretty bad ones. Again, it's no different than a regular club, just people can have sex there instead of going home to do it.
For some good, reliable, objective information about swingers and the lifestyle and what to expect, check-out The Swingers Board.
Take care.
2007-01-28 03:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends if you have ever had an experience with swinging before. A swingers club might be too much pressure if you have never experienced that kind of thing already.
I have had experience swinging (in my younger years) and have been to a swingers club as well. You have to be prepared to see people walking around naked and having sex (although usually there are semi-private areas for that). Most of the people that go are older (40's and 50's) so you may be (I'm not sure of your age) one of the younger ones there.
My advice is if your curious about swinging, then try to hook up with someone and get to know them and try it out in an environment that will not be as pressured. If you do go, take condoms with you, even if your not sure if you'll participate.
2007-01-27 18:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most swingers clubs are open to tg girls. In fact, many encourage tg girls to join - there are a lot of people like you and yours! Others have special nights for tgs. Look on-line for a club near you and get in touch w/them. Good luck!
2016-03-29 05:59:38 · answer #3 · answered by Loretta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Why get married if you're going to cheat anyway? Not to mention you are bringing the possiblity of STD's into your marriage. This ahouldn't even be a debate, for me it would be a HELL F$%K NO!!!
2007-01-27 18:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really knew what a Swingers Club was, I would hope you would stay hundreds of miles away from this adultery.
2007-01-27 18:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Have you got a boyfriend as well that you are going with?? You just have to make sure that you are ready to deal with something like that... Jealousy could be a huge factor... If you dont mind sharing your man and he doesnt mine sharing you then go for it!!! lol
2007-01-27 18:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure i bet you will get a new experience of things in life i had been once okayyy
2007-01-27 18:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by jaikumaar6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the best time ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to one or two ...Three in Las Vegas NV.Awesome time!!!!!!!!!!!!!GO!!
2007-01-27 18:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You naughty little girl,you!!!!!
2007-01-27 18:31:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It'll ruin your marriage, Dont Go.....!!!!
2007-01-27 18:33:59 · answer #10 · answered by ohsswim04 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋