Do you ever get to the point where being 'the outcast' is easier then dealing with the family drama?

Question

I just don't care anymore about their expecations. I would much rather be the outcast then having them all shocked when I live my own life and make decisions based on what is best for me and don't make decisions based on them. I have decided just now that accepting 'being the outcast' takes all the pressure off of me. That is now my role in the family.. that way I can be myself. I am the outcast, and boy that feels good... now all the pressure to be who they want is off! By accepting the outcast role... I am bowing out of all the expectations they put on me and I don't have to perform and jump throught their hoops. I owe them nothing anymore.. they have already robbed me of too much

Answer 1

I would think that your family would be glad for you that you are totally independent.

Answer 2

We all have a point in our life when we feel like "the outcast". If you will remove that from your thinking and get on with other things, it won't be very long and you will look back at this time and see that it wasn't important. You are not really an outcast; you are just trying to be yourself. In some families there are always some people who want to make too much out of things. It makes some people happy if they think they are the problem solver. Let them think whatever they want. They will find someone else to pick on soon and leave you along. If you let them think it bothers you, it will only make them happier. Ignore them.

Answer 3

Well done, and nicely said. Its true though. If you did let them dictate to you how you should live your life then you would find they would never be happy, even if you did everything their way. You'd be trying to please them, and really it is about how they appear, rather than seeing you happy with your choices in life. And yes, the pressure is off when you do things your way. I used to worry too much about how I looked, how I came across, a right people pleaser. But now life is so much better by not being so hard on myself. You are more happier for it, because families can get too intense sometimes.
And its important to be yourself, because then like attracts like, and you'll always get the right support from people to back you up. If you are not true to youself, you'll attract in your life the very people you are trying to be and you end up feeling feeling resentful and frustrated that they are not on your wavelength.
When you are yourself and unpressured you shine, and people are drawn to that. So adopt that thinking for the rest of your life and show your family who you are and expect the respect you deserve.

Answer 4

It is not the outcasts who sets themselves apart but the ignorance of the conformists who show little understanding or tolerance towards an individuals aspirations.
Personally through my own life, I have had the criticism of my own family hanging over me like a shadow, yet I choose to follow my own way of thinking, for my life's goal is my own priority and not theirs.
Once I had a argument with my father about where I was going in life, he had the mistaken idea that I should follow in his footsteps. When he realised that I rejected such an idea, he then accused me of being ungrateful for all the sacrifices he had made for me and my two older brothers.
I remarked back "I never asked to be born as you in turn never asked to be born, I was born out of sexual activity as you were,
I was born because of egotism and out of a common fear of death, (to carry on his genes and family name) likewise so were you father, so why should I be grateful to be born into suffering and struggle?, only the fellow sufferers who make life bearable for each other are the people I am grateful for, so why not make our lives bearable for each other instead of trying to make me feel guilty for an empty gift?".
My father was puzzelled by my answer, yet ceased to argue.
Today I am close enough to love them as parents, yet independant enough not to be hurt by them as a son.
The teacher has become the student and the student has now become the teacher.

Answer 5

The only person you need to make happy, is yourself. I would much rather be the outcast as well, then I wouldn't have them putting me down and making me feel that everything I do in life is just another disappointment to them.

Answer 6

I am not talking about my family. I love my family, my family and I get on fine ; what I refer to is about outcasts in society . Sometimes it is good to be an outcast , society thunks that they have rejected you, in fact you have rejected them, and may-be for good reason ; maybe it is in defence of family beliefs/ customs, knowing a higher standard, etc, and you just do not feel comfortable with what those around you have to offer. You feel a lot better being the out-cast and feel good about it, would feel horrible being a part of those whom you reject. WORDS TO A SONG: ... Them Babylons cannot ... just because I was sing-ing out my song, them Babylons come and grab me by my hand, but I am Natty Dread, Natty Dread do not mix with Babylons... . .

Answer 7

I personally would much rather be the outcast in my family. My family is so weird and messed up. I'm the only semi-normal one.

Answer 8

i dont like it, but i know know one day it wont always be like this...i have just recently started to talk with my uncle and work things through and find out i dont need certain people in my life that arent supportive of me and my choices, not today...maybe when things start to settle down or whatever the case , maybe then i could start to work things through with my family......

Answer 9

u inspire me. im a 13 yr old girl hoo basically an outcast. but sum times its cool 2 me and its annoyin. cuz wen u wanna no sumthin they wood wonder wut 4.

Answer 10

Have been there all my life.