My friend is in Germany on an exchange and the other day when I was in town I caught her boyfriend (of apprx 3months) cheating on her (he had a girl sitting on him and they were kissing.)
Should I tell her while she is on her exchange? Tell her when she gets home? Or not tell her at all?
If I tell her I run the risk of him denying it all and my friends will get angry with me and i'll probably lose them.
I don't know her boyfriend very well so i can't really talk to him about it.
2007-01-27 17:59:41 · 17 answers · asked by ★☆✿❀ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is coming back in less that 2weeks
2007-01-27 19:27:15 · update #1
well look at it this way. wouldn't you rather know now rather than later if you had (or if you have) a boyfriend cheating on you? and you are her friend you are supposed to look out for her so of course you should tell her. and if he does deny it. she should believe you anyways because you are her friend. and if she doesn't believe you (i don't know why she wouldn't) then its not really your problem then is it? you tried and thats what counts.
2007-01-27 18:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They were only dating for 3 months when she left. That's not really long enough to be a true love match. Don't ruin her exchange by telling her about this. There's nothing she can do about it from there. If they had an arrangement not to date others after only 3 months together, I'd be surprised. Let her continue, chances are that she'll meet a hunky German and spend time dating him. You haven't said how long she'll be there but I assume it's for a school year. A lot can happen during that time. When she returns, see if she is interested in taking up with him again. If that's the case, you can decide how much you want to share. Your decision to tell her should be based on knowing what her expectations of him are. If you don't know, find out from your circle of friends what kind of an agreement they had. Tell them that you need their help. When they ask you why, tell them what you saw. Don't ask: What should I do?; Ask: What should WE do?! This way you'll enlist their help and all of you can then decide together if this is a crisis or not. Perhaps her closest friend will volunteer to tell her when she gets back if she's still even interested in him. Oh, and talking to the BF is a waste of time, since he'll put a spin on it.
2007-01-27 19:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by Loki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to hint around to your bf about what you saw. If you tell her, she might end up hating you for giving her such bad news and then staying with the cheating idiot. Next time you talk to her, just ask her if she and so and so are still together. If she says, yes, tell her "That's funny, I thought you two were over because I saw him with another girl, I just assumed..." That's all you have to do. Don't tell her you saw them kissing or anything, just let her know you saw them together. She'll confront him and if he denies it, then you can decide whether or not to expose him as a cheater and a liar.
It's kind of a shady way to tell her the truth without hurting her all at once. Good luck & I hope she dumps the cheating loser!
2007-01-27 18:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only been with him for 3 months??
If she's a close friend you should know how she would take it: if she can handle it and she's a strong woman, yeah tell her. If she's dramatic, then no, don't say anything or at least wait.
I would definitely tell the boyfriend though, I wouldn't care if I did know him or not.
If that happened to me, I would want to know. If she is your good/true friend, then the boy can deny all day long and she will still be your friend. If she's not a good friend, well maybe it's not your place.
2007-01-27 18:07:14 · answer #4 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you're sorry to disillusioned her, yet you recognize what you stated and also you're only attempting to save her some soreness. tell her that you're nonetheless her chum, and that you will be right here for her even as she famous out the actuality for herself. you do not ought to tutor your declare or do some thing more desirable, yet in case you go with to proceed, you should attempt tricking the slutty lady into admitting she kissed the boy. The boy will proceed to lie, so tricking a confession out of the girl is maximum staggering.
2016-10-16 05:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by hanrahan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would snap a picture of them and send it (or better yet have someone deliver it to him) in an envelop. On the back of the photo write, "How many girlfriends do you have?" If he's smart, he'll get the point and stop. If not, have another copy for your friend when she gets back and send it to her. She has a right to know what's going on.
2007-01-27 18:50:41 · answer #6 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her right away.
3 months is nothing, if you don't tell her , then the next time it happens and she eventually finds out it may be 1 year into the relationship, and that will be worse.
If your friends leave because of this, then they were never real friends to begin with.
2007-01-27 18:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by Venom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a picture of them together, don't get caught. The kind that are dated. Send it to her without your name.
2007-01-27 18:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends are friends forever if their really even friends at all...and yes i'd tell her soon,,,,,,,,,,it's part of life you have to deal with things you might not wanna but their true issues of life they come and go everyday,,,,,just like freaking dumb a****** like him
2007-01-27 18:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by wayneholli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her enjoy the rest of her trip in peace - tell her when she gets back exactly what you saw.
2007-01-27 18:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋