How do I overcome witnessing the death of my dog? Has anyone else had this experience?

Question

I had a pit-bull/lab mix dog. Her name was Athena and she was so beautiful; she was the sweetest dog I have ever known. She loved everybody. We took her to get spayed, she was barely 2 years old, and she developed renal failure. I decided it would be best if my boyfriend and I were with her when they had to put her down. I didn't want her to be alone, her death was inevitable, so we agreed to have her put down so she would suffer no more. Well, we watched, and held her while she died. I have never cried so hard in my life. Now, I can not sleep without a light on, and her death keeps repeating over and over in my head. It wont go away. I keep seeing the moment when she died, when she stopped breathing, when my baby got taken away from me. Please, does anybody have advice? This is killing me. I loved her so much.....

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss....

I'm not going to say I know exactly how you feel, but I do know how I felt when I lost my little "Tori".
Tori was 4 years old and pregnant with her first litter, someone came to try and sell us something one afternoon, and they left the gate open when they left. I saw they had left the gate open and went out to close it, I saw my three boys standing on the other side of the road, then I saw Tori, she had gone through the gate, she caught sight of the boys and before I could call her she took off across the road, the sound of the car and my boys screaming is something I'll never forget. I pulled my jumper off and raced over to her, carefully wrapped her up and jumped in the car, I got her to the vet which was only 4 streets away, just as I pulled up she looked up at me and took her last breathe. She died in my arms, they couldn't save any of her puppies. Time has made it easier, we let the boys talk as much as they needed, and we have hundreds of memories and photos, we buried her in the back yard and we built a nice garden seat in what is now Tori's garden, 4 years later and my kids and I still go down there and sit and remember her. We now have 2 new dogs who we love very much, but we will never forget our little Tori.

It does get easier...

Answer 2

Well i had a similar experience when I held my German Shepard until he died of a snake bite. It was horrible feeling to feel a life fade away while all you could do was to look on. To overcome what I did was to decide and make a decision to move on and adopt another dog, a Terrier (Jock) and to love and take care of him like I would have my German Shepard. At least with the comfort of Jock I slowly managed to recover and understand that there while you are still breathing its not wrong to care for another life be it human or canine since you still have the ability to care. Don't lose that ability to care for another living thing as it will greater loss to lose the ability to care. Hope this helps, its just my experience. All the best.

Answer 3

I had something like that. Last July our golden retriever that was 9 years old went through something where she couldn't stand, then passed out, and then she peed on herself. We couldn't wake her, but an hour later she was back to normal. Then a month later in August she did the same thing. She would suck in her gut really tight and then release it as if it was painful. She had a lot of trouble. I sat with her through it thinking it might be the end. Finally, she seemed to be doing a little better and I was too tired to stay up any longer. The next morning I went out to see her and there was a blanket over her already. That was a great shock. I couldn't believe it. I started crying too. I had to look at her. I had to. You wait for her to start moving again. My brother told me he noticed she wasn't breathing anymore at about 2 am. So she died alone in the room and she wasn't even asleep during it. (her eyes were still open)
My point being, be glad that you were with her. It would have been much harder to drop her off and watch her being taken back to a room where she would be put to sleep. The worst part of it was that everyone was at work that day, and it was my day off. So I was stuck at home with a dead dog in the living room. The vet told us the price of cremation and we decided it was too exensive since they price it by the pound. We had a burial for her in the backyard. Be glad that you did not have to pick her up and smell.. I won't even go into that. Plus we had to clean the carpet because her body was releasing everything. I only go into all this to make you realize that it could have been ALOT worse. We had to clean up the aftermath of her death and there was nothing clean about it.
You have to realize that you have to go on. She is better off not being in pain and I think you are a great owner for putting your dog's suffering over your own emotions. Meaning, you didn't just keep her around in pain because you couldn't bear losing her. I think you were a great owner to her. I know too many people that have let their pet live in pain just because it would be too painful for them to put it down.

Answer 4

I think time. I have never really had a pet for a long time without them being killed by other animals. I used to feed these stray kittens in my backyard, my stepdad got tired of them and put a paw trap and got one of them. When I found him he was meowing desperatly, I immediatley took him to the Humane Society and they gave my stepdad a ticket. The sad part is that they had to put the kitten down since the trap had broken his paw and they would have to amputate and he was a wild cat so it was gonna be hard for him to recover and survive out there. I was depressed for weeks after, I also had two other cats that where killed by a neighbors vicious dog. Once I saw a dog get ran over right in front of me, and that whole day I kept on seeing it in my mind, so sad. At least your dog went with you right by her side, with love... always know that. Time helps, cry about it if you have to and always remember those happy moments you had with her. God bless.

Answer 5

So many of us have been through this terrible tragedy, and all I can say is that time will get you through. When my german shepherd had to be put down, I thought that I could not go on. I put his choke chain in my dresser drawer, the cat got in there, curled up with the chain and yowled. I was not the only one grieving. Life will get better and easier.

Answer 6

I can relate to this, my dog got hit by a car right in front of me. It was an horrific experience. I hate to say it but only time can heal the grief. It's good to grieve; don't feel ashamed to cry. Just get it all out. I know it must feel like it's killing you now but one day you will only remember all the good times you had with your dog.

Answer 7

Yeah, i know *exactly* how u feel. last may, my german shepherd that i had for 10 years, died from Cancer. there was nothing we could do for her, and she was starting to suffer. her cancer spread throughout her whole body...so we had to put her to sleep. i was right by her side when the veterinarian injected her.

just remember that she went peacefully, with you at her side. you gave her a good life, and you were there for her up to the end. there are lots of other doggies out there that don't have a caring human to take care of them, so your dog was very lucky to have u. Remember that she is out of pain now. I inserted a link to a poem that helped me recover from losing my bestest bud..read it, it will make u feel better!

So sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

When i was 7 I watched my grandfather, who I was very close to, die from a heart attack. All i can say is if you wait long enough, time heals all wounds.

Answer 9

i really dont know what to say. i have a German shepherd who's almost two and i cant imagine, what i would do if i lost him. sorry for what you had to go through. stay strong.

Answer 10

I know how you feel.