i have an wonderful boy friend and we are really in love we been goin out 4 3years but now he finally asks me do i want to have sex with him but i told him i don't know im really confused n scared i don't know what to do can you plz give me advice!
2007-01-27 17:38:49 · 34 answers · asked by aaliyah b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't do it now, wait till you're emotionally ready...but don't wait till marriage 'cause you may never marry until you're into your mid 30s & have missed out on all the good sex you could have had when you were in your 20s (that is the time when sexual performance peaks in adults)
2007-01-27 17:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how old you are, but the fact that you guys have been going out for three years has little to do with it. The question that you need to be asking yourself is: Are you emotionally ready to have a sexual relationship?
You certainly should be scared as this is a big step. Having sex with someone is an act of showing someone you love them. It also comes with a big responsibility. Only you can answer the question whether your ready or not. My advice is think long and hard about whether you are ready or not.
If you decide to have sex, make sure to use protection and let him know this is NOT negotiable. Both of you are too young to risk ruining your lives. If he won't wear a condom, then tell him there is no way you'd have sex with him.
2007-01-27 18:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously you like the guy or should I say really love him. Here is the question, do you want to have sex? I'm not saying just with him but I mean in general. If you have reservations with sex, whether it be religous, cultural, society (friends and social network), and you feel you will compromise yourself by having sex than it is probably best that you don't.
When is the best time to have sex? There really isn't one, for most people they first decide that having sex is for them and after that it is either planned or just happens spontaniously (right place, right time and right person). Everyone is scared when they have sex with someone for the first time. The first time with a person could go so many ways because it's your first time and you are getting to know that person for the first time in that way. One thing that is true is that if you communicate your experiance with your partner it can only get better. Don't be scared or shy to say what was good or bad no matter when you decide to have sex. Of course be kind when communicating a partners performance, tasteful yet truthful, keep that in mind.
To answer your question, if the love you have is mutual than he will understand no matter what. I don't know the level of intimicy that you have already but one option is to gradually build up to sex. Kissing, patting, grinding and maybe oral if you are comfortable enough. Those things alone can satisfy for years... maybe even forever for some people. If you aren't ready, than don't do it just because someone else wants to. If you are ready but nervous, than build up to it and enjoy it for everything it is and be safe and informed with all the risk involved with sex.
Good Luck
2007-01-27 18:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by Jimmy P. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have sex! If the idea isn't exciting and something you can't wait to experience, then you are not anywhere near ready. When you are ready, you will know it and you won't let anything stop you from having sex.
Tell your bf that you're not ready. If he says he's leaving, then let him leave. You sure don't want to have sex for the first time with someone that would leave you for not being ready to have sex!
Maybe he'll understand and maybe he won't but you only get to lose your virginity once in your lifetime. So, do what's right for you.
2007-01-27 17:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel confused and scared, then you are probably not ready. I wouldn't do it if I were you, because in the long run, it isn't worth it unless you are prepared for the difficult decisions and consequences that come with just "doing it." You need to put yourself first in this situation - only you truly know what feels right. When you're ready, you will know. Use your brain.
2007-01-27 17:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ misschels ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say NO!!!! You shouldn't be confused, just be strong. Perhaps you are comtemplating of having sex and yet is worried for the future, so if that's the case ,forget about it. Another thing, if he keep bringing up the issue, you know very well he's not the right person to be with.
2007-01-27 23:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by PhiloPhobic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're clearly not ready. He can ask, but you are under no obligation. You've been together a long time. This won't break you up. He knows and respects you already. But he's a guy, and this is what they do. Stand your ground. If you have feelings of fear and confusion, this would be a very bad decision and set you up for a lifetime of sexual issues later in your future marriage.
2007-01-27 17:43:08 · answer #7 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl i waited till i was 18 before i had sex and i thought i was going to marry the guy. if u can see yourself with him in say ten more years then go ahead and go for it. just make sure YOU want to have sex with him. it is a scary thing but once you do it ull see all the fuss was really just nothing. i have a wounderful man and we have been together for 2 yrs and i just got asked the same thing. i thought about it and we did it. and you know how they say it magical well it is especially it you love the man with all your heart.
2007-01-27 17:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by Rachael v. 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't do anything until you are ready. Sex is supposed to be fun and exciting when you are in love. But if you are scared because of the fact that if you dont do it he may leave you...then its not worth it.
2007-01-27 17:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Jujuchi 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm not going to dictate you your feelings.. only you can do that. but its normal to be scared.. and if your too scared tell him or say you wanna be abstinent to make it all the more special. but if you do want to.. the first time ain't as awkward as you think. its actually very easy.. if your in love which you are.
2007-01-27 17:48:03 · answer #10 · answered by the sulky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋